I have accepted it

It's all Carey Price (aka Baby Sexy #1)'s fault

Don't belive me?


Well I'm sorry to disappoint. Price was amazing in the first three games against Boston, and then, somehow, he lost it. He made some great saves while give up some craptastic goals, and when I say craptastic, I mean craptastic.


Throughout the regular season, Price looked like the second coming of Patrick Roy. Despite my love of Hip Hip Huet, I let myself believe. I thought that we could win with Price between the pipes.... after all the kid had gone from the Dub, where he lost out, to a Calder Cup the year before. He should have been ready for the show.


Of course, that's easy for me to say. I've never played pro in Montreal. I've never had to deal with the media scrutiny. I've never had to deal with the St. Patrick comparisons. After all, the last second coming of Patrick Roy was Jose Thedore (SEXY #1), and despite taking back the starting gig in Colorado this season, Theo disappointed fans in Montreal before.


20 years old is too young for a goalie in today's NHL.


I am not making excuses for my team and the fact that they failed to make it to the Conference Championships.


I am stating a fact.


In 1999 a nearly 20 year old Roberto Luongo led Team Canada at the World Juniors. We lost in a heart breaker to Russia. Luongo still hasn't made an impact to ANY post-season team, and he's now 29.


His back up that year was Brian Finley. I had to Google him to find out who he is. Last season he played 12 games. 2 in the show for the BOOuirns and 10 for their AHL affiliate. He's 26.


In 2000, Maxime Ouellet started for the Red and White. He's 26 now. He played 6 games in the ECHL this year. Brian Finley was his back up.

In 2001, Maxime was back between the pipes for the Red & White. We finished third for a second year in a row. Alex Auld was his back up. He split this year between Phoenix, San Antonio (AHL) and Boston. He's 27.

In 2002, Team Canada was led at the World Juniors by Pascale Leclair. We place second, and it took him until this season, as a 25 year old, to make a difference for Columbus. His back up, Olivier Michaud, had to be Googled. He's playing in some league called the LNAH for the St. Jean Chiefs. (For the record, 2002 was the year that Hottie McHottie from Fort McMurray, Scotti Upshall was el Capitaine!)

In 2003, Canada took home silver again and began developing a complex. This was also the year that Crosby was like, a stick boy or something in Halifax. He would have been like 15. Upshall once again wore the "C" for Canada, only this time, MAF (Marc-Andre Fleury) was between the pipes for the Red and White. He's really making noise as a star goalie now - at 23.

His backup, David LeNeveu, had to be Googled, and all he did was play 39 games in the AHL for 2 teams this season.

MAF was back in 2004 when Team Canada (AKA MAF) gave up a lead to the Americans (led by Hottie McHottie Zachie Parise) and eventually the game in the third period in Finland. His back up that year? Josh Harding. Hards, a dirty Regina boy if ever there was one, played 29 games as the Wild back up this year. He's 23.

In 2005, the Red and White finally won Gold. (First time in like, forever for Canadian hockey fans). They were led in goal by Jeff Glass. As a 22 year old, he played 45 games for the Baby Sens. His back up Rejean Beauchemin (SEXY #1's Doppleganger) played 43 games in the ECHL at the same age.

In 2006, Team Canada was Golden again. This time we were led by a Laffs draft pick named Justin Pogge. He went on to be a Bootlegger Spokesmodel. Well, mainly model, and at 21 he's still playing for the Baby Laffs. His backup, Devan Dubnyk, was a backup in the AHL this year, after a year in the ECHL.

Finally, in 2007, the Super Series Team was led to Gold against Team Russia by Jonathan Bernier, Steve Mason and Leland Irving. Mainly, Bernier was in the minors, despite a great start for the Kings, and a few games in the AHL. He's 19. Mason, also 19, was back in the OHL all season. Irving was back in the Dub.

Carey Price led the 2007 edition of Team Canada to World Junior Gold. He went on to be eliminated in the Dub playoffs, only to lead the Baby Habs to a Calder Cup. His backup, was Irving who toiled in the Dub this year.

The fact is, 20 is simply too young for a goalie in today's NHL, and if anyone wants to argue with me, you just have to look back at the Great Goalies of the World Juniors to see what I mean... and I didn't even look at Russia's goalies!

So Baby Sexy #1 was too young, but he's formidable as it is. Give him a couple of year. The Habs will be the next Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup. Trust me...

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I.....

Hate my team and really want to cry right now.

That is all.

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Heartattack Habs

So like, my Habs totally nearly caused me to go into cardiac arrest during round one.

In fact, I seriously believe they were behind my recent hospitalization. Oh wait, no, that was my wrists fault.

Either way, I could believe it when the BOOuirns won Game 3. After all, we were in their house. It made sense. When we won Game 4, that also made sense. I mean, seriously, we've owned the BOOuirns over the past couple of seasons.

What I couldn't believe was when they came into our House and took Game 5. That was our House, our Ice. So not cool. In fact, I just about cried. Actually I did cry, but again, I am going to blame that on the broken-ness of my wrist.

Game 6 I knew was going to be tough, we were going into their House and unfortunately, the game wasn't backed with a Bosox game. (Is this a good time to mention I hate both the Bosox and the Bronx Bombers? Go Jays Go!) So the crowd was going to be pro-Boston. But Carey Price (aka Baby Sexy #1 for those who have been wondering WHO Baby Sexy #1 is, its THE PRICE IS RIGHT because he is clearly jail bait for me and my advanced age) rarely loses two in a row.

So when the boys came out with a lead and Carey made some incredible saves I thought we had it... and then we... we... we... we... LOST.

Fortunately, winning the East has its advantages - mainly Home Ice, so I knew we were heading home to the Bell Centre (not as good as the Forum, but that's a movie theatre now) and that the crowd would be rocking and rolling.

I will admit however, I expected the BOOuirns to put up more of a fight. I never expected to send them packing with their tails between their proverbial legs. Which we totally did, despite being out played for the first half of the game in my humble opinion, because Baby Sexy #1 rocked the hizzouse.

Bring on the Flyers!!!

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Dude Where's My Team??

This off course, was what I was saying to myself during the third period of tonight's game.

Dude - Where's my team?

So I thought to myself, "Self - what can I do to help my team?"

Due to mainly brokeness, my previous tradition of getting drunk while watching playoff hockey has had to make its way out this year. Which is fine with me. Mainly because my team is supposed to destroy the Boouirns in the first round.

Note the key word in that sentence is "supposed to".

The team apparently forgot about this during the third period, where mes Habitants were looking mediocre at best. MEDIOCRE.

We forgot to move our feet. We also apparently forgot how to shoot the puck, and when we remembered, we forgot that the puck is supposed to HIT the net. You know, because the puck hitting the net (as opposed to the post and end boards) actually has a chance of going in.

Unlike Don Cherry and Bob Cole (stupid pro Boouirns morons - I mean, I know the Laffs didn't make the playoffs and the Habs did, but that's no reason to be so blatant about your dislike of the TOP CANADIAN TEAM in the PLAYOFFS!!), I am not going to give credit to Boston.

Sorry, not for nothin', never happen.

The fact is, mes Habitants were beating themselves. They had plenty of power play time (and did anyone else notice the blatant interference on Baby Sexy #1 during the first period?? The referee apparently forgot to put his contacts in before the game) and they still failed to come alive.

So I decided to bring out an oldie, but a goody.

And so I whipped out Les Canadiens de Montreal, which, once upon a time, was the team's theme song. I would love to share it with you all, but that would require far more work then I am willing to put in this morning. I swear there will be a YouTube video with that song in the background sometime in the near future.

So, mes Habitants, wake up! Game 3 goes TONIGHT in Boston!

P.S. - I can't for the life of me make the "Read More" thing work. So if anyone has any advice with helping my incompetent self, please, feel free.

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More thoughts on the Roy debacle

So, after all of the calls for banning fighting in hockey, I decided to take a look at some leagues that do, in fact, ban fighting. In other words, fighting results in immediate ejection, and in three fights result in a one game suspension (in some of these leagues) and three of those suspensions result in a longer suspension.

I also found the video of the fight.

Next, I looked at NCAA hockey. Where fighting is banned - it results in an automatic ejection.

Or is it? Look up University of North Dakota Hockey on YouTube. They've been involved in several brawls this season alone.

I go back to the Midget AA games I went to this season. There were fights, regardless of suspensions and ejections.

The fact is, fighting in hockey isn't always about fighting. Especially not at the junior level. At level, fighting is about stupidity, and try as we might, we cannot make rules against stupidity. Sure, we can make rules and laws that try to protect people from their own stupidity (seat belt laws) and the stupidity of others (non-smoking laws), but people will still be stupid if they chose to be stupid.

What Roy Jr. did was stupid. It was a senseless act of violence. Senseless acts of violence occur in rinks every year and every year, one of them garners enough media attention to make the bleeding hearts demand a "ban" on fighting.

I'm not a bleeding heart. Sure, I think a lot of fighting that occurs in the game is stupid. I thought last year that Jordin Tootoo acted a fool. I think its awful that Todd Feodoruk's cheek bones are mush.

That said, I believe that you cannot legislate stupidity. You simply can't. No matter what rules you put in place someone will break them, and claiming that making an example of Roy is going to make a difference is ridiculous.

If you're going to make an example in the CHL, you need to make an example of EVERYONE. The line brawl in the Windsor-Sarnia series resulted in ONE suspension. Compared to 9 suspensions in the Sagueens-Remparts series. Now you tell me which league made an example that fighting in the game is unacceptable?

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Raw Outrage at the Roys

Over the weekend, Jonathan Roy, a hack of goalie compared to his Father, St. Patrick Roy, was seen visibly pummeling his opponent, Bobby Nadeau from the Chicoutimi Sagueens as the Quebec Remparts were involved in a line brawl against the Sags.

If you haven't seen the video, I suppose I should start with that.

I hope this works. Either way, look it up on YouTube if it doesn't.

Now both Jonathan and his father were suspended - 7 games for Junior and 5 for Senior. The next night, in the OHL, Steven Stamkos (who is projected to go #1 overall in this year's NHL Entry Draft) delivered a cross check to an opponent that started a line brawl.

Only one player was suspended. Only one. I keep reading about the Roy's need to be given a lifetime ban, and how Jonathan is a hack. Now I agree that Jonathan is not the best goalie in the world - he played two years in Wilcox, Saskatchewan at Notre Dame, but I don't believe that this needs to be looked at in the courts, nor do I believe that he needs to be banned for life.

Others are commenting on the fact that the $400 fines handed out are laughable, considering the amount of money that Roy Sr. has. Umm... Roy is one of the only former NHL stars coaching in the CHL. Not every CHL coach is rolling in money. Fines go with the way the coaches and players are paid - and in the CHL the pay is minimal for both coaches and players.

The larger question, I suppose is why everyone is so up in arms over the behaviour of Patrick Roy's son - when no one cares about what Stamkos - a future STAR did. People are claiming that the Roy's got the star treatment with their suspensions. Yet Stamkos wasn't suspended.

Where is the double standard? Is the double standard in the suspensions handed out? Or is it in the media attention shown?

Jonathan's behaviour only received media attention because he is St. Patrick's son. He is barely a QMJHL player. He's almost third string. Nepotism has gotten him to the CHL - and there are those who say it will get him to the NHL. I personally beg to differ on that point. However there are future NHL stars like Stamkos who get away with vicious cross checks and other behaviour all the time, because they are able to live out their Major Junior careers in relative obscurity.

Jonathan Roy is now receiving some the attention garnered by Sidney Crosby in his last year as a junior. In a year when there WAS no NHL, everything Crosby did was scrutinized by the media. His every move questioned and evaluated.

Jonathan Roy is no Sidney Crosby. He fought, he flipped the crowd the bird. He did not "viciously attack" someone. Nadeau was on the blue line, calling him on. When it appeared that the officials had Roy under control, Nadeau retreated to his crease - and yes, Jonathan took off after him.

Were Jonathan's actions wrong? Of course they were. He probably should have stopped pummelling Nadeau when he turtled. Roy, however is still a kid. He made a mistake. Should Stamkos have crossed checked his opponent in the back? Of course not.

However, if we are going to dissect the line brawl on Saturday and call for life time bans, criminal charges and jail time, then we as a society have responsibility to avoid hypocrisy of the masses, and dissect Sunday's line brawl as well, and call for life time bans, criminal charges and jail time.

I've heard the argument that it is the high profile cases with big names that teach others that behaviour is wrong. Paris Hilton going to jail for DUI apparently taught every Tom, Dick and Harry - or Suzy, Sally and Jane that drinking and driving was wrong. Apparently it sent a message.

DUI numbers haven't dropped since then. I highly doubt that severely punishing the Roy's will send a message that transcends the lines of various leagues. Fighting is a part of hockey, and, right or wrong, it is up to the individual leagues to police themselves. Not for the public.

As for Bobby Nadeau? He should be ashamed of himself for running his mouth and then turtling. Just as Roy should be ashamed of himself for pummelling an opponent who wanted nothing to do with the fight and for flipping the bird to the crowd.

As for the media and the public - they should be ashamed of themselves for the rampant hypocrisy that has been demonstrated in this case, and lay off Roy Jr. He is, after all, just a kid, and its not like he chose his parents.

The leagues involved in both the Roy incident and the Stamkos incident should also be ashamed of themselves. The QMJHL should be ashamed of themselves for giving in to public pressure. The OHL should be ashamed of themselves for NOT handing out a suspension because of the lack of public pressure. The prosecutors in Quebec should also be ashamed of themselves for looking into charges in one of many brawls that occur in the QMJHL throughout the season.

Last, but certainly not least, Stamkos should be ashamed of himself for losing his temper and even more, for getting away with it. I can't blame Stamkos for not being punished, but surely even he knows that he deserves a suspension, in fact, if someone had delivered the same blow to him, I truly believe his team would have been clamoring for a suspension.

So while there is raw outrage at the Roy's - my outrage is directed at the public that ignores the facts, at leagues that demonstrate hypocrisy when media attention is on them, and at hockey players who apparently can't control themselves, whether they are stars or the sons of former hockey greats.

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Lions and Tigers and Habs OH MY!!

So who would have believed at the beginning of the season that the Montreal Canadiens would be sitting in first in the East at the end of March?

Certainly not I. I had once again converted away from Gaineyism and had in fact, converted to Tillmanism, which any good Rider fan will tell you totally paid off in the form of the franchise's first Grey Cup since I was but a little lass. Anyway, back to the point. After free agency ended and the Habs had no one, I was angry and bitter.

After we traded away Hip Hip Huet (I totally do not care that he is now pronouncing it Hu-et instead of Hu-eh) and got nothing in return, I hated my team and wanted to cry. Now, with six games remaining in their regular season schedule, the Habs are first in the East and 5 points ahead of the slumping Sens in their division.

Now, I have to admit. I had prepared myself for anothing season out of the playoffs. I was prepared to be satisfied with simply beating the Laffs, because really, at the end of the day, the only thing that matters to a true-bleu-blanc et rouge Habs fan is beating the Laffs. Sure, Stanley Cups are nice, but we already have 24 of them, and sometimes sharing is... nice. Yeah, nice that's it.

(Okay so the truth is, TRUE Habs fans are always bitter when another team wins the Cup. That mug is ours! Back off and get your own sandwhich! Ect.)

Of course, I don't want to give the credit to Bob Gainey. He has really given us NOTHING, at least not in terms of free agency or in terms of trades. Now, I realize that Hip Hip Huet was basically the back up and hadn't been playing as well, so he wasn't as valuable as was, but seriously... couldn't he have gotten something more?

So I am going to place almost all of the blame - or in this case, credit, firmly on the shoulder's of our coach extrodinare, Guy Carbonneau. Clearly he has worked that locker room the way a successful puckbunny works the after party. He has these guys' grooving on the ice, and fortunately not to anything else, because, seriously, they can't dance (there was a video of last year's (or the year before's) Halloween party on the Habs website for awhile, trust me if you didn't see it, it wasn't pretty).

With the said, I can't only make fun of the Laffs. I need to save a little mocking for the Boouirns, who went down to my Habs for the 7th straight time this year on Saturday Night. We felt sorry for you, so we let you take it to the shoot out. Trust me, you don't want us in the first round.

That said, we'll take you out in four. I have no problem winning some money on this. Not that I would bet on sports. Gambling is wrong. Very, very, very wrong.

Oh and if you haven't seen it - check out this video:

http://canadiens.nhl.tv/team/console?type=fvod&id=13785

TOO cute for words.

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But... but... but....

I officially recant my Gaineyism - AGAIN!!!

So I thought that, after not drafting Baby Sexy #2 Bob Gainey would make big moves in the off season. Which he failed to do. No big signings. Instead he stood at the end of the driveway waving gaily while Sheldon Souray signed with the Oilers.

In retrospect, that's not a huge deal since Souray has been sucking a nut this year, largely due to the fact that he's hurt all the time.

So then the whole team is supposed to suck a nut this year 'cause we don't got sheet.

But then, the boys pull together and play like WHOA. We're in the playoffs as the deadline approaches.

It makes sense to load up on deadline day non?

So time passes, nothing happens, but finally Gainey trades Hip Hip Huet for a 2nd Round DRAFT PICK!!! I'm thinking like, WHOA. Big things on the horizon right? I mean, so what Richards is in Dallas! Hossa's still around!

But no.....

We get NO ONE at the deadline.

And now, we're left with a rookie tender heading in to the post season. Yeah Halak has played in the bigs before, but NEVER in the playoffs.

So I hate my team right now.

And yes. I already cried.

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Big Bang, I'm back

And who would have guessed it? So are the Habs!

The NHL trade deadline is coming up on Tuesday and to everyone's surprise, the Montreal Canadiens are only one point back of the East leading Senators, who are currently LOSING to The Crosby Show(okay so he's not even on the ice, but you get my drift) 3-2, heading into the third period of play.

What does this mean you ask? It means, darlings, that the Habs are going to be playas come deadline day. Names being mentioned you ask?

1. Mats Sundin - ICK ooh. ICK. So he was hot once, back when he had the Campbell's Soup Commercial, and so what he scores points. He's a LAFF. Ain't no way he can wear the Red, White & Blue. I'd rather die then cheer for Sundin.
2. Brad Richards - YUMMY. On many levels. both PPG (point per game) and HMH (Hottie Mc Hottie)-wise. Of course, his salary is somewhat ridiculous, which may strap the Habs for cash, so I'm not completely sure that my Habs should go in this direction. That said, he adds depth down the middle, and since the Habs are currently TWO points back of 1st in the East, they could use some of that y'all.
3. Marian Hossa - I totally love the Hossa's so I am completely biased. When the Habs traded away baby Hossa for Garth Murray I was bitter. Don't get me wrong, I love Garth. He's a dirty Regina boy, so I gotta give him mad luv, but baby Hossa has done good things for the Rangers, while Garth was placed on waivers this year. So I think another Hossa would be a great pick up for the Habs.

Those are the top three names being banded about, and really I think only #2 and #3 are possibilities. The Habs can easily give up Ryder, who is clearly sucking a nut this season, while being able to toss in a name like Josh Georges (who I hate for all kinds of non-hockey related reasons) and a draft pick, because clearly our drafting is like, erratic at best. I mean, we didn't even pick up Espo #2, and we had the chance.

The Habs will be buyers come deadline day. The only questions left to answer are who are they going to buy? And what will they give up to get them?

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I am officially in mourning

The Habs were once a strong, and proud franchise. One with a history of winning.

Now, they are merely an empty shell of what they once were.

Simply put, I no longer recognize les Canadiens de Montreal as Les Habitants of old.

I mean, sure its been since like, 1993 that the Habs won the Cup - but they remain the last Canadian team to manage the feat. That's something to be proud of... right? RIGHT??

After Jose Theodore won the Vezina and helped the Habs come back from being down 3-0 in their series against Boston, I was sure that, like the Business Cycle, the Habs were on the upswing once again.

Yet, its now 2007.

Theo, hottie McHottie though he is, has departed the Habs for the Quebec Nordiques, where he makes riding pine look damn fine.

We dumped Ser-GAY's contract, and I was sure that Gainey was going to pull off something amazing. Mind blowing even.

Then, the draft came and went, and the Habs failed to pick up Baby Sexy #2. The got some defense man, and someone else equally forgettable in the first round. Booouirns.

Then, free agency has started. Four days later, most of the big names are gone.

NOTHING.

We've GOT NOTHING.

We are no better than we were before the draft. Or free agency.

Okay, so he signed Roman Hamrlik. Who loves to play in Canada. Who I watched play A LOT in Calgary this year.

He's strong defensively. I'll give him that.

But signing him is like saying "See you later Sheldon!" and waving gaily at the end of the driveway.

Sure, Souray was (and likely will continue to be) a defensive liability. But he put points on the board, which is something the offensively challenged Habs needed.

So I am sad.

And mourning.

And stuck living in my parent's house until I can find a new place to live.

How much does all this suck?

Well I'm half-way to drunk. So take that for what its worth.

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I take back what I said about Gaineyism

Due to my recent emotional trauma, caused by watching Angelo Esposito get passed up by the Habs at the #12 pick, I am totally forced to convert away from Gaineyism, and am currently left without a sports figure to worship. Maybe Eric Tillman or Kent Austin will leader the Riders to a Grey Cup Championship in November and I'll worship one of them briefly.

In fact, I am so highly traumatized that the only solution I could think of was to get extremely drunk with a bunch of 18 & 19 year olds. Which as we all know, is a solution for and cause of, all of life's problems.

I mean, sure his production dropped off without Radulov, but like, maybe he and Guy Latendresse would like, be good for each other? Put some more points on the board? We could kind of use some more goals.

So, I'm traumatized. Highly.

I actually cried. After dumping Ser-GAY's salary I truly hoped that Gainey had something up his sleeve.

He'd better pull off something huge in the off season, or I might actually pretend to cheer for the Laffs....

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Bob Gainey is my GOD

That's right people. I am OFFICIALLY converting to Bob Gaineyism as my new religion. Now only like, 11 more people need to put it on their 2008 Canadian Census forms and Gaineyism can gain tax exempt status. (I could totally be pulling that out of my ass, but hey, at least I tried)

So for you NON Canadiens fans out there, you are probably wondering why I am choosing right now to convert to Gaineyism.

Or maybe, you saw this LOVELY article on TSN.ca:

Canadiens deal Samsonov to Blackhawks

Perhaps you already know. Maybe you've figured it out.

Either way, the fact that Ser-GAY is gone is likely the best news that I've heard from the Habs this off season.

In return the Habs have picked up Jassen Cullimore and Tony Saliemenenickeycaljsyl (you get the idea damned hard to spell names) okay, thank you copy and paste... apparently its Salmelainen.

Essentially however, this move is simply a salary dump. The Habs plan on buying out Cullimore's contract at $1.5 million and haven't yet decided what to do with Salmelainen who is set to make $750 000 next year.

Ser-GAY was set to make $3.5 million next season and posted pitiful numbers last season. Not to mention the fact that his behaviour reminded me of other petulant Russian hockey players *cough* Yashin *cough*

So again why convert to Gaineyism now?

Obviously because this is the SECOND time that Gainey has pulled off a trade of this nature. Last time, he dumped Jose Theodore (don't worry honey, you're still a hottie, even if your ass is permanently glued to the bench) and his ridiculous contract on the Quebec Nordi- I mean, Colorado Avalanche (now that is some revenge for la Belle Province).

As well know the Habs got David "Abby" Aebischer, whose has been a more then competent back up to Christobal "Hip Hip" Huet for the past couple of seasons.

Clearly this move is a contract dump and we all know that when Bob Gainey makes moves like this, he's looking to do something bigger. Gainey always has a plan. I really thought that he had something up his sleeve when he traded Rivet to the Sharks for the a 1st round pick and Josh Georges.

Georges played surprisingly well at times for the Habs, but, more often then not was a healthy scratch.

With two first round picks in this years' NHL Entry Draft (set to go Friday in PRIME TIME in Columbus) , the Habs could use one of the picks to make a trade with one the teams that don't have a first round pick, or they could keep both of them.

The Habs can pick and 12 and 22 in the first round, should they not trade either pick.

My big hope? That the Habs use that 12th pick to take Baby Sexy #2 (Baby Sexy #1 being the shagalicious Carey Price - though, not going to lie, when the Habs took him with the #5 pick in the 2005 Entry Draft, I thought they were NUTS for not taking Gilbert Brule - turns out I was wrong) Angelo Esposito.

Once touted as a potential first overall pick, Baby Sexy #2's draft ranking has dropped - in part due to the fact that he continues to fail to make Canada's World Junior Hockey Team (he's been to 3 camps and still hasn't made the team). He has also failed to really take over the QMJHL, the way Sidney Crosby did. With 79 points last season, he did disappoint.

However, this could benefit the Habs. Espo still managed to take home the Mike Bossy Trophy as the best professional prospect, and he could still be available to the Habs in the 12 spot.

As to whom the Habs take in the 22 spot... well I'll leave that up to them and their scouting staff.

Needless to say, I do have an opinion. I haven't seen enough of the European prospects to really want the Habs to take any of them. Or at least, any of the ones who will still be available at 22.

That said, a lot of the Russian players could be left out of the first round, because there is no transfer agreement in place, so if the Habs wanted to take a chance, we could get another Ser-GAY, in Sergei Korostin (a decent RW) or they could take Maxim Goncharov, if they are looking for defense.

Of course, there are some good Dub prospects who could be available at the 22 spot. Nick Ross, who plays for the Regina Pats had an impressive season for the Pats, and Jonathan Blum, who played with the Memorial Cup Champion Vancouver Giants could also be available.

All I can really say though, is that with this salary dump, Gaineyism is my new religion.

Now Go- I mean, Bob, don't let me down on Friday!

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For Sale By Owner

The Montreal Canadiens have a number of UFA's this year, and there is one piece of the puzzle that we all know they aren't going to be able to resign.

We all know that I have some MAD LUV for Sheldon. He's a Hottie McHottie, and if I were any GM in the league I would want him on my team. He's defensively strong and he's got the wicked shot on the PP.

That said, I would love to see the Habs break the bank to keep him around another year or two, but I don't think that what the Habs McDreamy wants. I would assume, since he's back with the wifey (who I shall refrain commenting on as it would likely break the HLOG rules), and she's an "actress" (and I use the term losely) so I wouldn't doubt that he will try to head to Socal.

My inner Ducklings groupie thinks that it would be HOT to have Souray on the Ducks, but I'd rather that Burkie resigned Jiggy. I mean, what's cheering for the Ducks without dancing to "Getting Jiggy with It"?

Janne Niinimaa another blue liner for the Habs is more blah then anything else. Seriously. He was -13 in like 42 games this year. I could totally care less. Especially since he only made up for it with 3 points. TAKE HIM AWAY. We don't WANT HIM.

Have I mention lately that I love Radek Bonk? Because I do. He may have only scored 23 points this year, but he was one of the top players on the team in plus/minus (with a 0, but hey, on team with as pathetic as the Habs in +/-) and I want him kept. In fact, I may even have to throw a temper tantrum if they don't resign him.

Mike Johnson is a strong defensive forward, who was +6 on the season. I am all for keeping him, I mean, really we need guys who can score and keep the puck out of our net. Plus he's a healthy type of guy - he played 80 games for the Habs this season. If we want to get back to playoffs we need guys like him.

Honestly? I love Abby. David Aebischer has proven that he can play (and a hell of a lot better then Theo - who is the hott sexx) so I have to show him some MAD LUV because the Habs CLEARLY won the Theo trade. That said, if Carey Price can continue to grow as quickly as he has (I mean, seriously, Baby Sexy (and yes that is his official nickname according to MOI) has gone from the Dub (gotta love derty dub boys) to the WJCH, to the Dub, to a CALDER FREAKING CUP) then we really have no need for Abby with Jaroslav Halak and Christobal "Hip Hip" Huet locked up.

Who knows? Maybe the Avs will try to resign him....

Last, but certainly not least is Aaron Downey. Can't lie. Not really attached to a 33-year-old who only played 22 games this season. I mean, he played decently, but its all kind of MEH to me. Nothing HOTT about it. If anything, I think the Habs need to look at the Calder Cup Champion Bulldogs.

Speaking of the Bulldogs...

At least they know the importance of keeping hydrated after a very, very, very, very, very long night of drinking.

Look at the number of water bottles the boys have.

If they'd have been SMART (and I mean S-M-A-R-T not S-A-M-R-T) they would have been drinking Gatorade and vodka after the victory.

Then again, no one can count on hockey players being smart.

Corey Locke.

Le Sigh.

I have nothing else to say about him.

Well except that he looks highly hungover.

Good for you honey.

And then, last but certainly NOT least...

Is another boy named Cory of course....

Not that any of you should be surprised by that....

I bet that this was Cory's favourite part....

Either way, way to go Dogs!

Lets just hope that most of the boys on the Dogs that were a big part of this victory are P-R-O-P-E-R-T-Y of the Habs.

That way, they can be a big part of the Habs Stanley Cup run next year....

(Oh yeah and I am I the only one who finds my MAD LUV of all hockey players named Cor(e)y rather amusing?)

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The only radio bit...

That I've heard about the Ducks...

So I thought I'd share....

http://qml.quiettouch.com/files/radio/fan960/richards/Fake_Jim_Rome/FakeJimRome-Giguere.mp3

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So I've realized...

That many of you can no longer read my blog.

If reading my gossip filled blog is of interest to you, email me your email (and you will need to be a blogger member for the record) to theyjustwannapuckme@hotmail.com

Again, due to the fact that people like to put me into some kind of puckbunny bubble - the email was and is a joke, I created so I could blog without using my real email. Might give away who I really am.

Anyway, I could talk about the playoffs, but without the Habs what's the point?

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Leaving... on a jetplane

(x-posted to mah blog)

Okay, so I'm actually leaving in my car, but the sentiment remains the same. I'm heading home to good old Saskatchewan for the weekend... before heading out east to see some elderly (aka dying or potentially dying) family members (no sympathy needed here people - they're old, they're cranky and hopefully, I'm in the will).

As a result of this, I will either be a) without Internet access for much of the trip or b) too drunk to remember where the hell the computer is or how it works. Actually reverse a & b. Will be too drunk this weekend to post anything, and then, while visiting the elderly members of my family (who will likely outlive me no matter what the middle generation likes to tell me) will lack access to the net.

So have fun all. Don't miss me too much!

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Surperstious or Alcoholic? You decide!

Yes, I am late with this. At least I'm not late with anything more important then this. ;)

Okay, dirty jokes aside (though I can't promise that I will ever be completely done with dirty jokes) I have one thing I do every year during the playoffs.

I drink. A lot.

Out of my a bright pink drinking cup (who would ever have thought that *I* like the colour pink?), and I drink. And drink. And then, I drink some more.

Last year, while doing this, I spent a lot of time texting players who had been knocked out of the playoffs. Mainly to mock their dumb asses for not being in the playoffs. I was highly, highly bitter when certain boys went to Edmonton for some of the finals games and didn't invite me. Jerks.

Okay so really it wasn't their fault. Its not like tickets were easy to come by, I'm just bitter that I didn't get to see a Finals game - either when Calgary was in the Finals (though some friends and I were supposed to go to Cowtown to party on the Red Mile - not that that worked out) OR when Edmonton was in (and I would totally have partied on Whyte Avenue - while praying that I didn't get shot).

Back to the point however.

I cannot watch a playoff game without a drink in my hand. I'll change up the type of alcohol if its not working for my team - last year I started off with vodka, but switched to rum after the Habs lost 2 games in a row to Carolina. Then I switched to rye, and eventually I think I was back to vodka. It was a process.

I also have to make sure that I've eaten before the games start for the night - which often meant I was done supper by 4:30 and drunk by 7:00.

Oh and I run stairs. I live in apartments (do like, yard work? Hells no), and I'll run the stairs after every goal (yes, I realize I'm weird). My team scores, its a one set victory lap. The other team scores? It's a five set painful experience. Somehow, I think this sweating portion of the evening makes me less drunk - so I manage to stay upright for the entire night.

This year I have my teams jerseys on the wall... I've chosen one from each conference, and I'll leave them up until one team or the other is knocked out, and then they'll be replaced (if necessary) with another team (I have a rather large collection of jerseys, and those I don't already own, I'm pretty sure I know SOMEONE who can provide me with one) that I will then begin cheering for.

Of course, my personal preference would be to never have to replace either of the jerseys on the wall, but mes Habitants are on the bubble. If I have to beg, borrow and steal, I will keep the jerseys of the teams I am currently cheering for on my apartment wall. One facing east, the other facing west.

How can I do this you ask? I am a hockey fan, and even when my Captain (Oh Capitan, mon Capitan) goes down with a blatant high stick to the eye (which he proceeds to bleed from) I will still choose a team and cheer for them.

So bring on the playoffs. My liquor cabinet (also known as the cabinet over the fridge) is stocked. I have enough mix to last me at least a week (and surely to God I'll be sober enough at some point to make a trip to Walmart), and I know plenty of boys who are going to be on the outside looking in.

GO HABS GO!!!

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Les Super Canadiens de Montrèal

Alright, I admit it. I basically jumped ship on the Habs about 2 weeks ago, and threw the full force of my cheering behind the Pittsburgh Penguins, who I've also followed all season, due in the large part to the HOTNESS of the Gronk and Flower. (Bad Justice, bad - you should only follow a hockey team because they are good - oh wait, they're also good. Whew. I'm okay then.)

Either way, then my Super Canadiens de Montrèal have had this like, resurgence, and are actually not sucking. So while I never STOPPED cheering for my team (I never stop cheering for the record - there's just less enthusiasm when they suck balls) now I have once again put the full FORCE of my fandom behind them.

Its a sad but true fact. I am a bandwaggoneer. I will jump ship when the ship is sinking and cheer for the next best thing. Of course, I will NEVER cheer for the team that defeats my team. Last year I booed Carolina from the second round on.

That said, I have a bad habit of having a favourite team in each conference. Habs for Life and all that jazz still applies, but I always like to pick a team out West to cheer for. Kind of the dream Stanley Cup Final thing.

This year I have been highly torn in my decision in the west. Clearly I love many of the Ducks. I want them to do well, but the Flames have CRAIG CONROY back. I mean, Craig Conroy! I love Conny. Craig Conroy.

Oh and then there was a period when the Nucks had Hottie McHottie, Patrick Coulombe up from the Moose - that was probably the only time I cheered for the Canucks in my life. Then they sent him back down, and I went back to booing the Canucks and cheering for the Ducks and Flames. I have yet to decide who deserves the full force of my fandom however.

That said, I always have a team to cheer for. Today, I want the Bruins to beat the Rangers. I want Philly to beat the Isles. I want the Pens to beat Hotlanta. I want St. Louis to beat Detroit, mainly because I hate the Red Wings with an unbridled passion. Buffalo HAS to beat the Laffs. The Habs need to beat the Caps. The Sharks have to beat San Jose. T-Bay needs to beat the Sens. I want the Kings to beat Minny. Phoenix should beat Dallas, and of course, the Oilers should beat the Preds.

I play that way all season. I cheer for a team all the time, because at the end of the day, I like hockey. Even when my team is out, I want to watch the game - to me, that's what its all about.

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Jordin TooToo Acts a Fool

(x-posted to Objectionable Conduct)

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently (scary thought I know - but dumb blondes who party with the boys are actually capable of thinking) about why fighting is acceptable in hockey.

You see the incident pictured above occured last night during a game between Dallas and Nashville (bad TooToo Train bad) and it will, inevitably, lead to another storm of controversy about why fighting is acceptable in hockey when it is not acceptable in any other professional sport.

First of all, I would like to point out that that is not entirely true. Bench clearing brawls are as much a part of baseball as fighting is in hockey. Fighting is completely acceptable in the NLL as well (National Lacrosse League).

However, my thinking has led me to several conclusions about fighting in hockey, and why you cannot eliminate it from the game.

Many people ask why fighting isn't acceptable in basketball, but it is in hockey? Many people then bring about the issue of race - the majority of basketball players are of African descent, while the majority of hockey players are as white as the ice they play on.

I don't see this as a race issue at all, I see it as a logistics issue. Look at the seating at your typical basketball game. There are courtside seats, and nothing between the players and the fans. When basketball players brawl, it inevitably spills over into the stands. Someone not involved in the game gets hurt or worse, does something stupid and gets involved.

Now look at a hockey arena. The glass seperates the fans from the players. The gates keep players off the ice from getting involved. There are rules about leaving the bench during a fight. Those who are not involved are not going to get involved, nor will they get hurt.

What about football? You ask. The simple fact is, there are plenty of dirty shots in the pile ups that officials don't see. There is so much contact in football (more so then hockey) that the need to fight simply isn't there. Add to it the fact that the average play in football last no more then 30 seconds and there's a whistle?

Well it makes it hard to really start anything. The pace of the game simply doesn't allow for it. Not to mention the number of people on the sidelines at games - despite the seperation of fans from the players there are any number of people on the sidelines at most pro football games and much of the security is in the stands. Someone who wasn't supposed to be involved would get hurt.

In soccer, you have to eliminate fighting, because, world wide, what happens on the field spreads to the stands and then to the streets, without fail. Vancouver and Montreal have both experienced hockey riots. This escalation in violence has resulted in the Italian League going on a brief haitus this year. It is this without fail escalation that makes fighting unacceptable in soccer.

In baseball, the pace of the game doesn't really allow for regular, boiling over anger. However there are still occaisions when players charge the mound and the benches clear. That is viewed as a part of baseball in much the same way that fighting is a part of hockey. You cannot eliminate it from the game.

I maintain that fighting isn't just about violence. It's about passion and emotion - either feeling it or creating it in the building to help your team.

I don't believe that trying to put a stop to fighting will do ANYTHING to prevent incidents like the Chris Simon incident OR the Jordin TooToo incident. Sometimes people do stupid things. They happen in every sport. Ron Artest did something stupid in Detroit. Carmello Anthony did something stupid in New York. Plenty of football players (can you tell I don't really follow then NFL? Except during playoffs of course) have done stupid things in practice, fighting with teammates. Not to mention the spitting. I seriously don't understand what it is with football players spitting on each other.

Stupidity is the most destructive force in the history of humanity, and unfortunately we cannot eliminate stupidity without even more big brother style interference.

One of my favourite authors wrote these words for one of her characters:

"He was stupid. If I killed everyone who was stupid, I wouldn't have time to sleep." - Alanna of Trebond/Tamora Pierce

We can't eliminate stupidity. It just isn't possible, and to me the problem in the NHL isn't the fighting. Its the stupidity of some of the people doing the fighting.

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No More Drama

Except for the minor, minute detail that Chris Simon's vicious slash to the throat/face of Ryan Hollweg has resulted in more drama for the NHL, which is already dealing with the Pittsburgh fiasco AND the Ted Saskin email scandal. (Note: As someone from Saskatchewan, the email scandals I'm used to all involve male high school teachers and young female students so this one is a bit of a shock for me)

My first 10 thoughts, immediately after the incident"

1. Who the hell is Ryan Hollweg?
2. Isn't Chris Simon that guy who was accused of uttering a racial slur at Mike Grier (who had apparently uttered one first because Simon is like, Aboriginal or some shit?)
3. Dude, who the hell is Ryan Hollweg?
4. Shit, that was a dirty check.
5. Man he went Perezhogin on his ass.
6. I wonder if McSorley and Perezhogin are proud of him.
7. I would be.
8. Colin whatever the hell is name is' head is going to explode.
9. Hey, I bet hockey will make ESPN tonight.
10. No, really, who the hell is Ryan Hollweg?

Now, I offer my lack of knowledge of the participants as one of the primary arguments AGAINST expansion (though everyone in hockey knows its going to happen) however, this is just proof of a diluted talent pool.

So after wondering who the hell Ryan Hollweg was, I decided to make use, not of Google, but of Wikipedia, because its cooler.

Here's what I learned:

1. He's American (so that's why I have no clue who he is)
2. He's from California (well it makes even more sense that I don't know who he is)
3. He played in the BCHL (and since I'm from Saskatchewan the only Junior A league that matters is the SJHL)
4. He played for Medicine Hat in the Dub (how the hell do I not know the name?)
5. He amassed 239 PIM in Hartford in the AHL last season (Hartford? They still have a hockey team?)

I then spent the next several days watching anxiously as the NHL disciplinarians heads explod- I mean, they took time to meet with all involved parties and judiciously spin the wheel of just- I mean, come to a decision.

Personally, just in case I wasn't clear with the "he went Perezhogin on his ass" comment, I think this incident is more like my darling Perezhogin's then McSorley's. First and foremost, Hollweg hit him from behind. Perezhogin was slashed, tripped and basically given a beat down in front of the net before he snapped.

So to me, the act was NOT premeditated. It was a reaction. Not a good reaction. In fact, it was a ridiculously STUPID reaction if you ask me, but he didn't plan to do it, and to me that weighs heavily on the suspension.

See, McSorley planned it - he deserved the year long suspension. Bertuzzi's hit on Steve Moore was also premeditated. He'd been trying to get Moore to drop the gloves all night (of course, if you ask me, Moore pussied out when he wouldn't drop the mits with Bert - but he didn't deserve what happened to him). Bert was suspended for 22 games.

So when the 25 game suspension came down, I looked at the two harshest prior suspensions in league history. To me, a spur of the moment attack (even if it is with a stick) does NOT deserve the same kind of suspension as a premeditated attack of any kind. You can argue all you like that Bert was banned from playing during the lockout, so his suspension was really longer then those 22 NHL games that he missed, but he only forfeited 22 games of salary.

You see, the NHL is like any professional sports league, and they want to hit the players where it hurts - the wallet.

Sure it kills a player to not be out on the ice if they could be helping their team, but this was enforcer on enforcer. So really who the hell cares? Hollweg wasn't hurt nearly as badly as Moore was, he didn't miss any game action.

So I think the suspension was too long.

The fact is, suspending players is an ineffective method of preventing further inappropriate stick incidents. It's like the death penalty doesn't stop people from committing murder. A long suspension isn't going to stop a player from reacting - sometimes stupidly.

What does stop the players? Officials making the right call the first time.

So I suggest that NHL begin fining officials who miss calls. I mean I know refs don't make coach or player money, but fine your officials. Maybe some of the old blind ones will start to retire when they're losing money for missing calls (and we all know who they are).

As for whether or not Simon should face legal repercussions, I think the DA in that county or whatever the hell you Americans divide that stuff into should take a long, hard look at it... and then leave what happens on the ice to be dealt with by the league.

When players leave the field of play (a la Ron Artest in Detroit) and hit fans that's another story entirely, but in the end, what happens on the ice, stays on the ice as far as I'm concerned.

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