Saturday, June 16, 2007

Bob Gainey is my GOD

That's right people. I am OFFICIALLY converting to Bob Gaineyism as my new religion. Now only like, 11 more people need to put it on their 2008 Canadian Census forms and Gaineyism can gain tax exempt status. (I could totally be pulling that out of my ass, but hey, at least I tried)

So for you NON Canadiens fans out there, you are probably wondering why I am choosing right now to convert to Gaineyism.

Or maybe, you saw this LOVELY article on

Canadiens deal Samsonov to Blackhawks

Perhaps you already know. Maybe you've figured it out.

Either way, the fact that Ser-GAY is gone is likely the best news that I've heard from the Habs this off season.

In return the Habs have picked up Jassen Cullimore and Tony Saliemenenickeycaljsyl (you get the idea damned hard to spell names) okay, thank you copy and paste... apparently its Salmelainen.

Essentially however, this move is simply a salary dump. The Habs plan on buying out Cullimore's contract at $1.5 million and haven't yet decided what to do with Salmelainen who is set to make $750 000 next year.

Ser-GAY was set to make $3.5 million next season and posted pitiful numbers last season. Not to mention the fact that his behaviour reminded me of other petulant Russian hockey players *cough* Yashin *cough*

So again why convert to Gaineyism now?

Obviously because this is the SECOND time that Gainey has pulled off a trade of this nature. Last time, he dumped Jose Theodore (don't worry honey, you're still a hottie, even if your ass is permanently glued to the bench) and his ridiculous contract on the Quebec Nordi- I mean, Colorado Avalanche (now that is some revenge for la Belle Province).

As well know the Habs got David "Abby" Aebischer, whose has been a more then competent back up to Christobal "Hip Hip" Huet for the past couple of seasons.

Clearly this move is a contract dump and we all know that when Bob Gainey makes moves like this, he's looking to do something bigger. Gainey always has a plan. I really thought that he had something up his sleeve when he traded Rivet to the Sharks for the a 1st round pick and Josh Georges.

Georges played surprisingly well at times for the Habs, but, more often then not was a healthy scratch.

With two first round picks in this years' NHL Entry Draft (set to go Friday in PRIME TIME in Columbus) , the Habs could use one of the picks to make a trade with one the teams that don't have a first round pick, or they could keep both of them.

The Habs can pick and 12 and 22 in the first round, should they not trade either pick.

My big hope? That the Habs use that 12th pick to take Baby Sexy #2 (Baby Sexy #1 being the shagalicious Carey Price - though, not going to lie, when the Habs took him with the #5 pick in the 2005 Entry Draft, I thought they were NUTS for not taking Gilbert Brule - turns out I was wrong) Angelo Esposito.

Once touted as a potential first overall pick, Baby Sexy #2's draft ranking has dropped - in part due to the fact that he continues to fail to make Canada's World Junior Hockey Team (he's been to 3 camps and still hasn't made the team). He has also failed to really take over the QMJHL, the way Sidney Crosby did. With 79 points last season, he did disappoint.

However, this could benefit the Habs. Espo still managed to take home the Mike Bossy Trophy as the best professional prospect, and he could still be available to the Habs in the 12 spot.

As to whom the Habs take in the 22 spot... well I'll leave that up to them and their scouting staff.

Needless to say, I do have an opinion. I haven't seen enough of the European prospects to really want the Habs to take any of them. Or at least, any of the ones who will still be available at 22.

That said, a lot of the Russian players could be left out of the first round, because there is no transfer agreement in place, so if the Habs wanted to take a chance, we could get another Ser-GAY, in Sergei Korostin (a decent RW) or they could take Maxim Goncharov, if they are looking for defense.

Of course, there are some good Dub prospects who could be available at the 22 spot. Nick Ross, who plays for the Regina Pats had an impressive season for the Pats, and Jonathan Blum, who played with the Memorial Cup Champion Vancouver Giants could also be available.

All I can really say though, is that with this salary dump, Gaineyism is my new religion.

Now Go- I mean, Bob, don't let me down on Friday!


Ellie said...

oh the joys and pains of money and hockey...

hopefully bob does have a good plan for you guys and i agree - salary dumps are usually a good sign!

Shmee said...

Sign me up for Gaineyism. That was a great job dumping whiney jerkoff -- oops, I meant our friend Sergei.

Objectionable Conduct said...

Ellie - Well he'd better have a plan, or I will have to fly out to Montreal and personally kick his ass.

Shmee - I'm a big fan of Gaineyism. As long as he doesn't fork us over on Friday. Then I may have to convert to Brian Burkeism.

Shmee said...

as long as no one converts to Mike Milburyism. What would the tenets of that religion be anyway? Financial ruin, terrible decision making...

Objectionable Conduct said...

Hahaha I have NO idea. I like Brian Burkeism and Bob Gaineyism though. Actually much as I hate to admit it, Murrayism might not be to bad....

Kathleen said...

sign me up for Gaineyism, too.
I have recently developed a GIGANTIC crush on Gainey. I think he's so freakin hot. Now that I'm in my twenties I have realized that its not just good looks that make a man hot, its the entire package. Its hard to describe, he may not have a handsome face but I like his face because it displays his qualities. Honesty, integrity and brilliance. He also has a hunky body and piercing sexy eyes. I could see him as a hero in an Ayn Rand novel. I bet he's good in bed too...teehee.
I'm serious.