I have accepted it

It's all Carey Price (aka Baby Sexy #1)'s fault

Don't belive me?


Well I'm sorry to disappoint. Price was amazing in the first three games against Boston, and then, somehow, he lost it. He made some great saves while give up some craptastic goals, and when I say craptastic, I mean craptastic.


Throughout the regular season, Price looked like the second coming of Patrick Roy. Despite my love of Hip Hip Huet, I let myself believe. I thought that we could win with Price between the pipes.... after all the kid had gone from the Dub, where he lost out, to a Calder Cup the year before. He should have been ready for the show.


Of course, that's easy for me to say. I've never played pro in Montreal. I've never had to deal with the media scrutiny. I've never had to deal with the St. Patrick comparisons. After all, the last second coming of Patrick Roy was Jose Thedore (SEXY #1), and despite taking back the starting gig in Colorado this season, Theo disappointed fans in Montreal before.


20 years old is too young for a goalie in today's NHL.


I am not making excuses for my team and the fact that they failed to make it to the Conference Championships.


I am stating a fact.


In 1999 a nearly 20 year old Roberto Luongo led Team Canada at the World Juniors. We lost in a heart breaker to Russia. Luongo still hasn't made an impact to ANY post-season team, and he's now 29.


His back up that year was Brian Finley. I had to Google him to find out who he is. Last season he played 12 games. 2 in the show for the BOOuirns and 10 for their AHL affiliate. He's 26.


In 2000, Maxime Ouellet started for the Red and White. He's 26 now. He played 6 games in the ECHL this year. Brian Finley was his back up.

In 2001, Maxime was back between the pipes for the Red & White. We finished third for a second year in a row. Alex Auld was his back up. He split this year between Phoenix, San Antonio (AHL) and Boston. He's 27.

In 2002, Team Canada was led at the World Juniors by Pascale Leclair. We place second, and it took him until this season, as a 25 year old, to make a difference for Columbus. His back up, Olivier Michaud, had to be Googled. He's playing in some league called the LNAH for the St. Jean Chiefs. (For the record, 2002 was the year that Hottie McHottie from Fort McMurray, Scotti Upshall was el Capitaine!)

In 2003, Canada took home silver again and began developing a complex. This was also the year that Crosby was like, a stick boy or something in Halifax. He would have been like 15. Upshall once again wore the "C" for Canada, only this time, MAF (Marc-Andre Fleury) was between the pipes for the Red and White. He's really making noise as a star goalie now - at 23.

His backup, David LeNeveu, had to be Googled, and all he did was play 39 games in the AHL for 2 teams this season.

MAF was back in 2004 when Team Canada (AKA MAF) gave up a lead to the Americans (led by Hottie McHottie Zachie Parise) and eventually the game in the third period in Finland. His back up that year? Josh Harding. Hards, a dirty Regina boy if ever there was one, played 29 games as the Wild back up this year. He's 23.

In 2005, the Red and White finally won Gold. (First time in like, forever for Canadian hockey fans). They were led in goal by Jeff Glass. As a 22 year old, he played 45 games for the Baby Sens. His back up Rejean Beauchemin (SEXY #1's Doppleganger) played 43 games in the ECHL at the same age.

In 2006, Team Canada was Golden again. This time we were led by a Laffs draft pick named Justin Pogge. He went on to be a Bootlegger Spokesmodel. Well, mainly model, and at 21 he's still playing for the Baby Laffs. His backup, Devan Dubnyk, was a backup in the AHL this year, after a year in the ECHL.

Finally, in 2007, the Super Series Team was led to Gold against Team Russia by Jonathan Bernier, Steve Mason and Leland Irving. Mainly, Bernier was in the minors, despite a great start for the Kings, and a few games in the AHL. He's 19. Mason, also 19, was back in the OHL all season. Irving was back in the Dub.

Carey Price led the 2007 edition of Team Canada to World Junior Gold. He went on to be eliminated in the Dub playoffs, only to lead the Baby Habs to a Calder Cup. His backup, was Irving who toiled in the Dub this year.

The fact is, 20 is simply too young for a goalie in today's NHL, and if anyone wants to argue with me, you just have to look back at the Great Goalies of the World Juniors to see what I mean... and I didn't even look at Russia's goalies!

So Baby Sexy #1 was too young, but he's formidable as it is. Give him a couple of year. The Habs will be the next Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup. Trust me...

Read More......

I.....

Hate my team and really want to cry right now.

That is all.

Read More......

Heartattack Habs

So like, my Habs totally nearly caused me to go into cardiac arrest during round one.

In fact, I seriously believe they were behind my recent hospitalization. Oh wait, no, that was my wrists fault.

Either way, I could believe it when the BOOuirns won Game 3. After all, we were in their house. It made sense. When we won Game 4, that also made sense. I mean, seriously, we've owned the BOOuirns over the past couple of seasons.

What I couldn't believe was when they came into our House and took Game 5. That was our House, our Ice. So not cool. In fact, I just about cried. Actually I did cry, but again, I am going to blame that on the broken-ness of my wrist.

Game 6 I knew was going to be tough, we were going into their House and unfortunately, the game wasn't backed with a Bosox game. (Is this a good time to mention I hate both the Bosox and the Bronx Bombers? Go Jays Go!) So the crowd was going to be pro-Boston. But Carey Price (aka Baby Sexy #1 for those who have been wondering WHO Baby Sexy #1 is, its THE PRICE IS RIGHT because he is clearly jail bait for me and my advanced age) rarely loses two in a row.

So when the boys came out with a lead and Carey made some incredible saves I thought we had it... and then we... we... we... we... LOST.

Fortunately, winning the East has its advantages - mainly Home Ice, so I knew we were heading home to the Bell Centre (not as good as the Forum, but that's a movie theatre now) and that the crowd would be rocking and rolling.

I will admit however, I expected the BOOuirns to put up more of a fight. I never expected to send them packing with their tails between their proverbial legs. Which we totally did, despite being out played for the first half of the game in my humble opinion, because Baby Sexy #1 rocked the hizzouse.

Bring on the Flyers!!!

Read More......

Lions and Tigers and Habs OH MY!!

So who would have believed at the beginning of the season that the Montreal Canadiens would be sitting in first in the East at the end of March?

Certainly not I. I had once again converted away from Gaineyism and had in fact, converted to Tillmanism, which any good Rider fan will tell you totally paid off in the form of the franchise's first Grey Cup since I was but a little lass. Anyway, back to the point. After free agency ended and the Habs had no one, I was angry and bitter.

After we traded away Hip Hip Huet (I totally do not care that he is now pronouncing it Hu-et instead of Hu-eh) and got nothing in return, I hated my team and wanted to cry. Now, with six games remaining in their regular season schedule, the Habs are first in the East and 5 points ahead of the slumping Sens in their division.

Now, I have to admit. I had prepared myself for anothing season out of the playoffs. I was prepared to be satisfied with simply beating the Laffs, because really, at the end of the day, the only thing that matters to a true-bleu-blanc et rouge Habs fan is beating the Laffs. Sure, Stanley Cups are nice, but we already have 24 of them, and sometimes sharing is... nice. Yeah, nice that's it.

(Okay so the truth is, TRUE Habs fans are always bitter when another team wins the Cup. That mug is ours! Back off and get your own sandwhich! Ect.)

Of course, I don't want to give the credit to Bob Gainey. He has really given us NOTHING, at least not in terms of free agency or in terms of trades. Now, I realize that Hip Hip Huet was basically the back up and hadn't been playing as well, so he wasn't as valuable as was, but seriously... couldn't he have gotten something more?

So I am going to place almost all of the blame - or in this case, credit, firmly on the shoulder's of our coach extrodinare, Guy Carbonneau. Clearly he has worked that locker room the way a successful puckbunny works the after party. He has these guys' grooving on the ice, and fortunately not to anything else, because, seriously, they can't dance (there was a video of last year's (or the year before's) Halloween party on the Habs website for awhile, trust me if you didn't see it, it wasn't pretty).

With the said, I can't only make fun of the Laffs. I need to save a little mocking for the Boouirns, who went down to my Habs for the 7th straight time this year on Saturday Night. We felt sorry for you, so we let you take it to the shoot out. Trust me, you don't want us in the first round.

That said, we'll take you out in four. I have no problem winning some money on this. Not that I would bet on sports. Gambling is wrong. Very, very, very wrong.

Oh and if you haven't seen it - check out this video:

http://canadiens.nhl.tv/team/console?type=fvod&id=13785

TOO cute for words.

Read More......

Big Bang, I'm back

And who would have guessed it? So are the Habs!

The NHL trade deadline is coming up on Tuesday and to everyone's surprise, the Montreal Canadiens are only one point back of the East leading Senators, who are currently LOSING to The Crosby Show(okay so he's not even on the ice, but you get my drift) 3-2, heading into the third period of play.

What does this mean you ask? It means, darlings, that the Habs are going to be playas come deadline day. Names being mentioned you ask?

1. Mats Sundin - ICK ooh. ICK. So he was hot once, back when he had the Campbell's Soup Commercial, and so what he scores points. He's a LAFF. Ain't no way he can wear the Red, White & Blue. I'd rather die then cheer for Sundin.
2. Brad Richards - YUMMY. On many levels. both PPG (point per game) and HMH (Hottie Mc Hottie)-wise. Of course, his salary is somewhat ridiculous, which may strap the Habs for cash, so I'm not completely sure that my Habs should go in this direction. That said, he adds depth down the middle, and since the Habs are currently TWO points back of 1st in the East, they could use some of that y'all.
3. Marian Hossa - I totally love the Hossa's so I am completely biased. When the Habs traded away baby Hossa for Garth Murray I was bitter. Don't get me wrong, I love Garth. He's a dirty Regina boy, so I gotta give him mad luv, but baby Hossa has done good things for the Rangers, while Garth was placed on waivers this year. So I think another Hossa would be a great pick up for the Habs.

Those are the top three names being banded about, and really I think only #2 and #3 are possibilities. The Habs can easily give up Ryder, who is clearly sucking a nut this season, while being able to toss in a name like Josh Georges (who I hate for all kinds of non-hockey related reasons) and a draft pick, because clearly our drafting is like, erratic at best. I mean, we didn't even pick up Espo #2, and we had the chance.

The Habs will be buyers come deadline day. The only questions left to answer are who are they going to buy? And what will they give up to get them?

Read More......

I am officially in mourning

The Habs were once a strong, and proud franchise. One with a history of winning.

Now, they are merely an empty shell of what they once were.

Simply put, I no longer recognize les Canadiens de Montreal as Les Habitants of old.

I mean, sure its been since like, 1993 that the Habs won the Cup - but they remain the last Canadian team to manage the feat. That's something to be proud of... right? RIGHT??

After Jose Theodore won the Vezina and helped the Habs come back from being down 3-0 in their series against Boston, I was sure that, like the Business Cycle, the Habs were on the upswing once again.

Yet, its now 2007.

Theo, hottie McHottie though he is, has departed the Habs for the Quebec Nordiques, where he makes riding pine look damn fine.

We dumped Ser-GAY's contract, and I was sure that Gainey was going to pull off something amazing. Mind blowing even.

Then, the draft came and went, and the Habs failed to pick up Baby Sexy #2. The got some defense man, and someone else equally forgettable in the first round. Booouirns.

Then, free agency has started. Four days later, most of the big names are gone.

NOTHING.

We've GOT NOTHING.

We are no better than we were before the draft. Or free agency.

Okay, so he signed Roman Hamrlik. Who loves to play in Canada. Who I watched play A LOT in Calgary this year.

He's strong defensively. I'll give him that.

But signing him is like saying "See you later Sheldon!" and waving gaily at the end of the driveway.

Sure, Souray was (and likely will continue to be) a defensive liability. But he put points on the board, which is something the offensively challenged Habs needed.

So I am sad.

And mourning.

And stuck living in my parent's house until I can find a new place to live.

How much does all this suck?

Well I'm half-way to drunk. So take that for what its worth.

Read More......

I take back what I said about Gaineyism

Due to my recent emotional trauma, caused by watching Angelo Esposito get passed up by the Habs at the #12 pick, I am totally forced to convert away from Gaineyism, and am currently left without a sports figure to worship. Maybe Eric Tillman or Kent Austin will leader the Riders to a Grey Cup Championship in November and I'll worship one of them briefly.

In fact, I am so highly traumatized that the only solution I could think of was to get extremely drunk with a bunch of 18 & 19 year olds. Which as we all know, is a solution for and cause of, all of life's problems.

I mean, sure his production dropped off without Radulov, but like, maybe he and Guy Latendresse would like, be good for each other? Put some more points on the board? We could kind of use some more goals.

So, I'm traumatized. Highly.

I actually cried. After dumping Ser-GAY's salary I truly hoped that Gainey had something up his sleeve.

He'd better pull off something huge in the off season, or I might actually pretend to cheer for the Laffs....

Read More......

Bob Gainey is my GOD

That's right people. I am OFFICIALLY converting to Bob Gaineyism as my new religion. Now only like, 11 more people need to put it on their 2008 Canadian Census forms and Gaineyism can gain tax exempt status. (I could totally be pulling that out of my ass, but hey, at least I tried)

So for you NON Canadiens fans out there, you are probably wondering why I am choosing right now to convert to Gaineyism.

Or maybe, you saw this LOVELY article on TSN.ca:

Canadiens deal Samsonov to Blackhawks

Perhaps you already know. Maybe you've figured it out.

Either way, the fact that Ser-GAY is gone is likely the best news that I've heard from the Habs this off season.

In return the Habs have picked up Jassen Cullimore and Tony Saliemenenickeycaljsyl (you get the idea damned hard to spell names) okay, thank you copy and paste... apparently its Salmelainen.

Essentially however, this move is simply a salary dump. The Habs plan on buying out Cullimore's contract at $1.5 million and haven't yet decided what to do with Salmelainen who is set to make $750 000 next year.

Ser-GAY was set to make $3.5 million next season and posted pitiful numbers last season. Not to mention the fact that his behaviour reminded me of other petulant Russian hockey players *cough* Yashin *cough*

So again why convert to Gaineyism now?

Obviously because this is the SECOND time that Gainey has pulled off a trade of this nature. Last time, he dumped Jose Theodore (don't worry honey, you're still a hottie, even if your ass is permanently glued to the bench) and his ridiculous contract on the Quebec Nordi- I mean, Colorado Avalanche (now that is some revenge for la Belle Province).

As well know the Habs got David "Abby" Aebischer, whose has been a more then competent back up to Christobal "Hip Hip" Huet for the past couple of seasons.

Clearly this move is a contract dump and we all know that when Bob Gainey makes moves like this, he's looking to do something bigger. Gainey always has a plan. I really thought that he had something up his sleeve when he traded Rivet to the Sharks for the a 1st round pick and Josh Georges.

Georges played surprisingly well at times for the Habs, but, more often then not was a healthy scratch.

With two first round picks in this years' NHL Entry Draft (set to go Friday in PRIME TIME in Columbus) , the Habs could use one of the picks to make a trade with one the teams that don't have a first round pick, or they could keep both of them.

The Habs can pick and 12 and 22 in the first round, should they not trade either pick.

My big hope? That the Habs use that 12th pick to take Baby Sexy #2 (Baby Sexy #1 being the shagalicious Carey Price - though, not going to lie, when the Habs took him with the #5 pick in the 2005 Entry Draft, I thought they were NUTS for not taking Gilbert Brule - turns out I was wrong) Angelo Esposito.

Once touted as a potential first overall pick, Baby Sexy #2's draft ranking has dropped - in part due to the fact that he continues to fail to make Canada's World Junior Hockey Team (he's been to 3 camps and still hasn't made the team). He has also failed to really take over the QMJHL, the way Sidney Crosby did. With 79 points last season, he did disappoint.

However, this could benefit the Habs. Espo still managed to take home the Mike Bossy Trophy as the best professional prospect, and he could still be available to the Habs in the 12 spot.

As to whom the Habs take in the 22 spot... well I'll leave that up to them and their scouting staff.

Needless to say, I do have an opinion. I haven't seen enough of the European prospects to really want the Habs to take any of them. Or at least, any of the ones who will still be available at 22.

That said, a lot of the Russian players could be left out of the first round, because there is no transfer agreement in place, so if the Habs wanted to take a chance, we could get another Ser-GAY, in Sergei Korostin (a decent RW) or they could take Maxim Goncharov, if they are looking for defense.

Of course, there are some good Dub prospects who could be available at the 22 spot. Nick Ross, who plays for the Regina Pats had an impressive season for the Pats, and Jonathan Blum, who played with the Memorial Cup Champion Vancouver Giants could also be available.

All I can really say though, is that with this salary dump, Gaineyism is my new religion.

Now Go- I mean, Bob, don't let me down on Friday!

Read More......

For Sale By Owner

The Montreal Canadiens have a number of UFA's this year, and there is one piece of the puzzle that we all know they aren't going to be able to resign.

We all know that I have some MAD LUV for Sheldon. He's a Hottie McHottie, and if I were any GM in the league I would want him on my team. He's defensively strong and he's got the wicked shot on the PP.

That said, I would love to see the Habs break the bank to keep him around another year or two, but I don't think that what the Habs McDreamy wants. I would assume, since he's back with the wifey (who I shall refrain commenting on as it would likely break the HLOG rules), and she's an "actress" (and I use the term losely) so I wouldn't doubt that he will try to head to Socal.

My inner Ducklings groupie thinks that it would be HOT to have Souray on the Ducks, but I'd rather that Burkie resigned Jiggy. I mean, what's cheering for the Ducks without dancing to "Getting Jiggy with It"?

Janne Niinimaa another blue liner for the Habs is more blah then anything else. Seriously. He was -13 in like 42 games this year. I could totally care less. Especially since he only made up for it with 3 points. TAKE HIM AWAY. We don't WANT HIM.

Have I mention lately that I love Radek Bonk? Because I do. He may have only scored 23 points this year, but he was one of the top players on the team in plus/minus (with a 0, but hey, on team with as pathetic as the Habs in +/-) and I want him kept. In fact, I may even have to throw a temper tantrum if they don't resign him.

Mike Johnson is a strong defensive forward, who was +6 on the season. I am all for keeping him, I mean, really we need guys who can score and keep the puck out of our net. Plus he's a healthy type of guy - he played 80 games for the Habs this season. If we want to get back to playoffs we need guys like him.

Honestly? I love Abby. David Aebischer has proven that he can play (and a hell of a lot better then Theo - who is the hott sexx) so I have to show him some MAD LUV because the Habs CLEARLY won the Theo trade. That said, if Carey Price can continue to grow as quickly as he has (I mean, seriously, Baby Sexy (and yes that is his official nickname according to MOI) has gone from the Dub (gotta love derty dub boys) to the WJCH, to the Dub, to a CALDER FREAKING CUP) then we really have no need for Abby with Jaroslav Halak and Christobal "Hip Hip" Huet locked up.

Who knows? Maybe the Avs will try to resign him....

Last, but certainly not least is Aaron Downey. Can't lie. Not really attached to a 33-year-old who only played 22 games this season. I mean, he played decently, but its all kind of MEH to me. Nothing HOTT about it. If anything, I think the Habs need to look at the Calder Cup Champion Bulldogs.

Speaking of the Bulldogs...

At least they know the importance of keeping hydrated after a very, very, very, very, very long night of drinking.

Look at the number of water bottles the boys have.

If they'd have been SMART (and I mean S-M-A-R-T not S-A-M-R-T) they would have been drinking Gatorade and vodka after the victory.

Then again, no one can count on hockey players being smart.

Corey Locke.

Le Sigh.

I have nothing else to say about him.

Well except that he looks highly hungover.

Good for you honey.

And then, last but certainly NOT least...

Is another boy named Cory of course....

Not that any of you should be surprised by that....

I bet that this was Cory's favourite part....

Either way, way to go Dogs!

Lets just hope that most of the boys on the Dogs that were a big part of this victory are P-R-O-P-E-R-T-Y of the Habs.

That way, they can be a big part of the Habs Stanley Cup run next year....

(Oh yeah and I am I the only one who finds my MAD LUV of all hockey players named Cor(e)y rather amusing?)

Read More......

Mikey R....

Now I didn't include Mike Ribero on my list of dirty little secret because well, I forgot about him. However, the fact of the matter is, I love Mikey R. I loved Mikey R. when he was wearing the Habs colours and I love him still.

I was bitterly disappointed when we didn't resign him, because, even if he dove against the Bruins and made the officials look like morons, he was still one of the top young talents on the team.

However, on the heels of the Kovy scandal where he apparently spouted off about everyone in the Habs organization from the owners to the vendors and back again in a Russian newspaper, Mikey R. is complaining that he wasn't treated well in Montreal.

He goes on to admit that maybe he didn't do enough weight training or rather, as much as the team would have liked. He then complains that Quebec born players have a tough time playing in la Belle Province.

Much as I hate to agree with a whiner, Mikey has a point. It is hard to be a Quebecois player in Quebec. The French media has a ton of expectations for Quebec-born players. Hell, the expect a lot of Quebec-born players who play on other teams.

No where else in Canada do you find home grown tabloids. Les Quebecois adorent la drame. C'est la vie.

Except its not easy for any player, particularly not when you feel the weight of an entire nation on your shoulders (and for the record, Quebec is a nation based on a political science definition if not a legal one).

So while I hate to agree with a whiner, Mikey R. has 44 points this season - that would put him fourth on the Habs depth chart. His +2 rating? Yeah, he'd be top 5 in that to. So while I hate to agree with a whiner, its hard to disagree with a whiner who has numbers like that.....

Read More......