Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Surperstious or Alcoholic? You decide!

Yes, I am late with this. At least I'm not late with anything more important then this. ;)

Okay, dirty jokes aside (though I can't promise that I will ever be completely done with dirty jokes) I have one thing I do every year during the playoffs.

I drink. A lot.

Out of my a bright pink drinking cup (who would ever have thought that *I* like the colour pink?), and I drink. And drink. And then, I drink some more.

Last year, while doing this, I spent a lot of time texting players who had been knocked out of the playoffs. Mainly to mock their dumb asses for not being in the playoffs. I was highly, highly bitter when certain boys went to Edmonton for some of the finals games and didn't invite me. Jerks.

Okay so really it wasn't their fault. Its not like tickets were easy to come by, I'm just bitter that I didn't get to see a Finals game - either when Calgary was in the Finals (though some friends and I were supposed to go to Cowtown to party on the Red Mile - not that that worked out) OR when Edmonton was in (and I would totally have partied on Whyte Avenue - while praying that I didn't get shot).

Back to the point however.

I cannot watch a playoff game without a drink in my hand. I'll change up the type of alcohol if its not working for my team - last year I started off with vodka, but switched to rum after the Habs lost 2 games in a row to Carolina. Then I switched to rye, and eventually I think I was back to vodka. It was a process.

I also have to make sure that I've eaten before the games start for the night - which often meant I was done supper by 4:30 and drunk by 7:00.

Oh and I run stairs. I live in apartments (do like, yard work? Hells no), and I'll run the stairs after every goal (yes, I realize I'm weird). My team scores, its a one set victory lap. The other team scores? It's a five set painful experience. Somehow, I think this sweating portion of the evening makes me less drunk - so I manage to stay upright for the entire night.

This year I have my teams jerseys on the wall... I've chosen one from each conference, and I'll leave them up until one team or the other is knocked out, and then they'll be replaced (if necessary) with another team (I have a rather large collection of jerseys, and those I don't already own, I'm pretty sure I know SOMEONE who can provide me with one) that I will then begin cheering for.

Of course, my personal preference would be to never have to replace either of the jerseys on the wall, but mes Habitants are on the bubble. If I have to beg, borrow and steal, I will keep the jerseys of the teams I am currently cheering for on my apartment wall. One facing east, the other facing west.

How can I do this you ask? I am a hockey fan, and even when my Captain (Oh Capitan, mon Capitan) goes down with a blatant high stick to the eye (which he proceeds to bleed from) I will still choose a team and cheer for them.

So bring on the playoffs. My liquor cabinet (also known as the cabinet over the fridge) is stocked. I have enough mix to last me at least a week (and surely to God I'll be sober enough at some point to make a trip to Walmart), and I know plenty of boys who are going to be on the outside looking in.



Sasky said...

I can no longer read your blog! *POUTS* HelP!!!

Objectionable Conduct said...

I need your email.

Elly said...

Running up and down stairs? Man, I hope you don't watch a lot of high-scoring games.

Meg said...

Running stairs? That's dedication! The drinking I could manage, but I'd wind up cracking my head open on the stairs and that would just be a bad situation all round.

Objectionable Conduct said...

I love it lol. I'm all about staying fit, and its only two flights - I only live in a three storey building.

Anonymous said...

I drink two beers per playoff game for the Ducks. I gained 10 pounds last year during playoffs, so this year I am switching to light beer.

Ellie said...

you habs fans never cease to amaze me...

Finny said...

running stairs. maybe i should take up that practice. sounds like a good one... run up and down the stairs in the honda center after goals???

... I wonder if security would come after me like they went after that drunk-ass that kept doing it at the sharks/ducks game...

Objectionable Conduct said...

General:Habs fans be nuts. Je suis fou, je connais.

Anyway, yeah, I've been having fun doing laps, and I've had to switch jerseys. I've now got a Pens jersey in the place of my precious Habs jersey.

AD: I swear its the running portion that keeps me from gaining weight. Because tomorrow I'll like have between 4 and 6 drinks. TRIPLE HEADER ON CBC baby!

Finny: :P for being able to go to games. I'm still PRAYING for a Flames/Ducks series so I can go to a couple of games.