Sweden: Land of Ikea, Meatballs and Muppets

And by muppets, I mean ex-Muppet Daniel Alfredsson, captain of the Ottawa Senators and often the scape goat for the wrath of disgruntled Sens' fans for playoff failures past.

Born on December 11th, 1972 in Gothenburg Sweden, Alfie was the 133rd overall draft pick in the 1994 draft. Suffice it to say, I think he was a heck of a find as he went on to win the Calder Trophy in 1995-1996. He's been captain of our little team since 1999-2000 when Alexei Ya$hin held out for a new contract. When Yashin returned, he was denied the captaincy. Which, HAHA.

He's represented Team Sweden in three winter olympics, this last year winning the gold medal with his fellow countrymen Mats Sundin and Peter Forsberg. Sundin broke his stick during one of the games in Torino and Alfie let him borrow one of his. Upon returning from Torino, he instantly played better. Coincidence? I think not.

Alfie has two sons with wife Brigitta: Hugo and Loui. They've been married since 2004 and split their time between Ottawa and Saro, Sweden.

He's a bit of a politician as he's served on the NHLPA board and as the president of the European Players' Committee of the NHLPA for several years now, getting re-elected once again this year.

So do people like Alfie? Yes and no. It's true, he's been the face of the Senators for awhile but many people question his captain-ing abilities as he's seen as alot more reserved than most. Add to the fact that whenever the media brings his captaincy into question, his response is to...give the media more reason to bring his captaincy into question. After a slow start this year that prompted trade rumours because of the presence of scouts from the L.A. Kings taking in a Sens' game [actually, one of them was an accountant I think], he's been playing alot more consistently and is currently third in team scoring.

My take on Alfie? I'm just glad he got rid of the muppet hair.

Frankly, I don't know what this is either:



Yikes.

Read More......

Lets change the weekly topic!

Finny started it. And I admit, I haven't done my bit for the weekly topic but I'll catch up. Just to inject some activity in the hlog:

Argue the relative "hotness" of your team. Use numbers and stats, quirky personality traits and whether they turn up at charity events.

Especially with all the puckbunny crap being kicked around, I guess you'll have to work harder to push your case. Or at least show that your team is butt ugly but plays like hell to win.

Read More......

You Have to Start 'Em Young...

Since we've been talking about fighting both here and on people's individual sites, I thought I would toss this out there. I found this today and thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen - it's actually on a blog via another blog via yet another blog, but I'm going to help out my fellow Caps blogger and link to his site (I'm such a homer): http://khfanclub.blogspot.com/2006/11/hockey-fight.html

Seriously, watch it all the way through. I've been sitting here at work trying not to laugh.

Who says all fighting is bad?

Read More......

I have to become more detail-oriented.

Tellqvist for Tyson Nash

When I originally wrote this post, I was multitasking and wasn't paying much attention...now that I'm bringing my B+ game to this, I've finally managed to note that Nash has played in the minors this season so far. Well, the Marlies now have themselves a Belak lite.

Tellqvist hasn't really been all that reliable for a while, and was bound to be heading somewhere else after Aubin established himself as the better back-up. He is a decent goalie, but things didn't really work out that great for him this season, so maybe a change of scenery is what he needs.

Read More......

Calgary's Captain

I don't know how anyone can not like Jarome Iginla. He usually has a smile that makes me smile from its genuineness. Iggy was named the #3 captain with this as his description: "The Flames went to the Stanley Cup Final in Iginla's first year. Coincidence? We think not. Iginla is the emotional leader that drove that team to the pinnacle of its abilities. He is an elite player who inspires with his play as much as his words, but he is adept at both. His likeability and honesty attract teammates to him, making him the perfect go-between that season between the players and demanding and sometimes gruff coach Darryl Sutter that year. He is already a hero in Calgary and is well on his way to establishing himself as captain material for Canada in upcoming international competitions."

I have waxed on about Iggy during our community leader topic.

This sums him up in video form fo'sho' - make him mad and he will score more times than not.

His trophy case is full of hardware as well...

* George Parsons Trophy (Memorial Cup Most Sportsmanlike Player) - 1995
* WHL West First All-Star Team - 1996
* Four Broncos Memorial Trophy (WHL Most Valuable Player) - 1996
* NHL All-Rookie Team - 1997
* Canadian Major Junior First All-Star Team - 1996
* Named to NHL All-Rookie Team - 1997
* Played in 3 NHL All-Star Games - 2002, 2003, 2004
* Maurice 'Rocket' Richard Trophy - 2002, 2004
* Art Ross Trophy - 2002
* Lester B. Pearson Award - 2002
* King Clancy Memorial Trophy - 2004

Oh yeeeeeeeah, he also has represented our lovely country many times:

• 1996 World Junior Championships (gold medal)
• 1997 World Championship (gold medal)
• 2002 Winter Olympics (gold medal)
• 2004 World Cup of Hockey (gold medal)
• 2006 Winter Olympics

Gee, Iggy, you're swell!

Read More......

Hlog, Toronto, 10th December, Wherever.

Just reconfirming you guys can make it. We've decided the 10th of December and if you can't make it, drag yourself there! Sherry, HG and I are completely commited. I just need a follow up from k.le and Alana and see if they're still up for it.

Either way, we're going to have fun!

Read More......

Symptom #12 of Post-Concussion Syndrome

Speaking of make-overs, someone please tell me what Tim Connolly is thinking with this facial hair? Clearly, he's still feeling the effects of his concussion.



While I don't think Timmy is particularly cute anyway (though some girls would hang me for that) - he has weird nostrils - I do miss his hair. I tried to adjust to the bald head, but I just can't do it.

Read More......

O Captain(s), My Captain(s)!

The Buffalo Sabres are the only team in the league (I think) with co-captains. They are Danny Briere and Chris Drury. One wears the "C" one night, the other wears it the following night. (The guy who isn't wearing the "C" wears one of the "A"s.) There are a couple of exceptions to the rotation. Chris always wears the "C" when the team plays in Boston. He has friends and family there and it's where he played his college hockey (Boston University, Hobey Baker winner). Danny always wears the "C" in Ottawa and Montreal since that's the area he grew up in. I wasn't crazy about the whole co-captain thing when we first started it, but I have to admit it seems to work pretty well. A recent article about Danny and Chris referred to them as the yin and yang of Buffalo hockey and their personalities do balance each other very well.

Danny is the vocal captain. He's the one who's going to put himself out there. He wears his heart on his sleeve. You can watch him play and know exactly what he thinks about the way he and the team are playing. You can tell if he's excited, if he's angry, if he's frustrated. He's not afraid to give someone an earful whether it's a teammate, a ref (in an appropriately captain kind of way, of course), or an opponent. But he also knows when a teammate needs support and encouragement. When call-up Mike Ryan put a puck in our net a couple nights ago, Danny was the one who pulled him aside and said, "Hey, don't worry about it. Half the guys in this room have done the same thing and we're going to win the game anyway." Danny's always one of the first guys to skate in to defend a teammate and if he feels like the other guy needs a swipe or a shove, Danny's going to give it to him, even if the other guy is 5 inches taller and 40 lbs. heavier. He plays with the fire and determination of a guy who's always been told that he's too small to make it in the NHL. When things are tight, when the game is on the line, he wants the puck. He's not afraid to fail or succeed in those situations. Because he's outgoing and talkative, he's the captain who usually deals with the media and fans. It's not that Chris doesn't like us, but Danny is a natural people person. He's particularly wonderful with kids, most of whom adore him. (Maybe it's the small stature and the baby face.) He almost always has a huge grin on his face.

Chris is quiet and painfully shy. (Seriously, if you ever have a chance to see him interviewed, you must watch. He looks like he's facing a firing squad, he stares at the ground most of the time, and he will answer as quickly and succintly as he can. Maybe he'll use full sentences if he's feeling particularly chatty.) But when he talks, woo-boy, people listen. It was allegedly Chris who told management that if they were serious about putting together a winning team, they needed to get rid of Miroslav Satan because while he was talented, he was also selfish and lazy on the ice and his bad habits were rubbing off on others. It was also allegedly Chris who took aside a cocky and obnoxious Derek Roy during training camp last year and told him, "Look, kid, you haven't earned that kind of attitude yet. Shut up and prove you belong here." Satan was on the next bus out of town and Derek returned later in the season with the same passion but a new attitude. Where Danny is fiery and excitable, Chris is very even-keeled. I have no doubt he's the one who kept last year's very young, very inexperienced team (less than five post-season games combined excluding him*) calm and focused enough to come within one period of the Stanley Cup finals. He's the one with his eye on the prize. He's the one who, even in the midst of the winning streak at the beginning of the season, kept saying over and over, "It's nice to win a lot of games, it's nice to start the season with a bunch of points, it's nice to bring some excitement to Buffalo. But we could win every regular season game and it won't matter. Our goal is the Stanley Cup." Certain fans who have trouble dealing with my team's success (you know who you are) say to me, "This doesn't mean anything. The Senators started the same way last year and then crapped out in the playoffs." First of all, I know, I was watching the entire flame-out since the Senators crapped out to MY team. Second of all, the Senators got overconfident. Regardless of what they said, they came into the series with Buffalo playing like a team who clearly thought they were better than their opponent. (The drama about Hasek's injury didn't help and everyone in Buffalo was happy that particular problem wasn't ours anymore.) That won't happen in Buffalo because the second confidence turns into overconfidence and success leads to laziness, Chris will be in the lockerroom knocking heads together. He works his ass off and he expects everyone else to as well. We could be up by seven goals or down by seven goals and if you're watching Chris play, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. As ESPN's John Buccigross said in his most recent column, "He (Chris Drury) plays every game like someone kidnapped his entire family and the ransom is winning the faceoff he is about to take." Danny is more gifted offensively - the man can do beautiful, beautiful things on the ice - but Chris is very solid on both ends of the ice. He's our top face-off guy, he plays the power play and penalty kill, and when it's up to us, he's on the ice against the oppponent's first line. Danny may be the face and voice of the team, but I think Chris is its heart and its conscience.

Due to salary cap issues and Danny's ridiculous arbitration award (I'm sure he'll be worth the five million before the season is over but it would've been nice if that had been the ending point of contract negotiations and not the starting point), it's very possible that we'll lose one of our captains this off-season. But I'm not going to worry about that right now. For now I just want to enjoy how far they're going to carry us this season.

Read More......

Work it!

I'm such a keener, I did my homework months before it was due. Over at Hot Oil, I've made over both Ryan Smyth and Petr Sykora. Everyone looks better in an up-do.

Read More......

Lock Up Your Grandmothers, Look Out, A-Rod... It's Alexei Yashin!

Arguably the most maligned captain currently serving in the NHL, Alexei Yashin is the face of the New York Islanders and recipient of the second-worst contract in the history of the NHL (see: DiPietro, Rick). Turtleneck-loving Yashin has earned a diva reputation over the years, even more so than previous captain, Michael "Chiclets" Peca. And it's been somewhat warranted. Okay, before you jump on me with the "somewhat" in that statement, understand that coming off an MVP-nominated season in Ottawa in 1999, Yashin was making a decent amount less than Alexandre Daigle. Alexandre. Daigle. All I'm saying is that he deserved to ask for more money. He definitely should've sacked up and played out his contract, but he also deserved a better salary. Alexandre Daigle. Dude.
Prior to this season, Yashin could best be described as the Alex Rodriguez of Long Island. He has appeared disinterested...lazy, even. All of the potential in the world, none of the motivation, none of the clutch play. And the lack of hustle shined like a beacon against the scrappy efforts of teammates like (Saint) Jason Blake, Trent Hunter, and Shawn Bates. This led Islanders fans to speculate that Yashin couldn't handle the pressure of being a captain. In fact, once the rumors of a contract buyout were squashed, gossip stirred that new coach Ted Nolan was going to strip Yashin of he "C."
But this year, Yash has jumped out of the gate posting serious numbers and logging chunky minutes on the penalty kill, power play, and at even strength. It seems that Yashin needed more pressure to feel useful. And luckily, Nolan has recognized that and adjusted accordingly. This seems like the first season that Yashin has really taken on the mantle of Captain.
I myself am not all that high on Yashin, although I did write him an apology letter and sent him a Mrs. Fields Sampler for calling him "a Dirt Devil of character" on SportSquee. So, I will excuse myself from extolling his virtues. But Yashin is doing really well and his teammates seem to love him. And he's married (or not?) to the aged patron saint of puck bunnies and raw food enthusiast, Carol Alt, who is 13 years older than he. So he has that going for him.
But he's not going to poetically inspire his boys, like Rod Brind'Amour. There is no way he'd take a puck to the face, like Chris Clark. Or beat the snot out of someone in the name of his teammate, like Jarome Iginla. And he doesn't have the skillz of a Joe Sakic to lead by example. But Yashin is only 32, and has at least 500 years left on his contract, so there is plenty of time to prove me wrong.
But know that if he craps out this season, I'm phoning (Saint) Jason Blake and Miroslav Satan to offer my services for Captain Campaign manager.

Read More......

Thanksgiving Eve Thrashing

If you follow hockey at all I'm sure you've heard what unfolded at the end of the Caps-Thrashers game last night. If not, then let's put it this way...all hell broke loose.

It's been really interesting seeing more and more information about the incidents during and after the game start to trickle out into the media. There are things you should never hear about - players grabbing another player's face mask, etc. - and things you wish you had seen - Caps Coach Hanlon flapping his arms like a chicken at Atlanta's Coach Hartley.

It's definitely the first time in a long time that I've seen anything like it happen here in DC. The last one I can remember was years ago against the Bruins, which included the ever-popular goalie "fight" (although the goalies were friends and weren't really fighting, but still fun). The Caps, while a tough team with a good work ethic, are not really known for their full out fights. The well-placed hit, sure; the occasional retaliatory roughing or cross-checking, absolutely. But coming into last night's game they were last in the league with only 3 fighting majors.

They surpassed that last night, as both teams combined for 105 penalty minutes and 8 game misconducts handed out in the last two minutes. Not a record by any stretch, but pretty impressive. As a result, the NHL has handed down suspensions to two Capitals and one Thrasher, as well as fines to both coaches.

Throughout the Caps blogosphere, reactions to the extended boxing matches have been mixed. I personally enjoy the occasional fight - it's not something I need to see every game and last night was definitely overkill, but it's an interesting phenomenon. Regardless of what Caps' bloggers think of fighting, though, there seems to be an almost unanimous sentiment that what happened needed to happen, if only to send a message.

So I put this question out there to all of you ladies - no need to create a weekly topic (unless you want to); you can just post a comment or e-mail me: what do you think is the role of fighting in the 'new' NHL? Do you think fighting should be banned or do you like the occasional knockdown, drag out fight between two warriors on skates? What do you think of the NHL's ruling, both on the participants from last night and in general (i.e. suspensions for the instigator penalty, fines for the coaches, etc.)?

I may follow HockeyGirl's lead and create a superpost on my blog with the results...let me know what you think!

Read More......

Captain Dallas from B.C.

I've tried to pinpoint what is expected of the guy that wears that 'C'. I came up with quite a few flashy adjectives, but couldn't really capture exactly what I was looking for. I did some research and found Alan Adams' words about my captain, Dallas Drake. The question in play is "What it Takes to Be an NHL Captain?" Adams says --

Take heart and the ability to be heartless.

Add experience, and the savvy to get a message across. Mix in desire, and the wherewithal to instil that same desire in others, and blend in a heaping helping of leadership.

What have you got?

A National Hockey League captain.

Whether he's got his choppers in and smiling for the camera or he's showing grit and determination on the ice with a gaping hole in his grill, Dallas Drake is quite worthy of this honor. Even though the Blues have been in the lower part of the standings last season and thus far this one, Drake always plays his hardest and tries to set an example for the rest of his team. That's what a good leader does.

Read More......

All I Want for Christmas is My 2 Front Teeth...

Introduce us to your team captain.

Let me first preface this by saying that in Washington, there is no question who the captain has been for the last 10 years - and he's not the guy with the 'C' on his chest. Olie "the Goalie" Kolzig is the longest-tenured player in franchise history, having been in the Caps system for 17 years and making it clear that he wants to finish his career in DC. He's always outspoken in the media but is tactful and direct, and very funny. He's known to be vocal both in the lockerroom and on the ice, and has broken quite a few sticks in his day.

When the captaincy was left vacant in the offseason, players were asked who should fill the role - without missing a beat, every single one of them (including the guy who would eventually wear the 'C'...I'll talk about him in a minute, I promise) said that it didn't matter because Olie was the true leader of the team. That alone speaks volumes...this is truly Olie's team.

Now, having said that, I have to say that this in no way takes away from the work of the current captain, Chris Clark. Those of you from Calgary probably remember him, and anyone who has been following DC-area sports over the last week (come on, you know you have the Washington Post bookmarked...) has heard of him. The recent media flurry wasn't for his stellar play on the ice, although it has been great, or for any antics off the ice, because there are none. No, it's simply because he blocked a shot.

With his mouth.

And stayed on the ice despite losing two teeth and fracturing his palate.

Ew.

Said Olie Kolzig after the game, "I've never seen anyone get hurt like that...[i]t was gory. To take a puck in the mouth like that is one thing. But to finish his shift, work his butt off to get the puck out of the zone, that's the reason he's our captain." Coach Hanlon said it was likely the most courageous thing he'd seen in hockey.

Clark's reason behind finishing his shift? "There was no sense in laying on the ice...[l]aying on the ice wouldn't have made me feel any better. That's never been my way to do it." He underwent intensive oral surgery the day after the game, which I won't describe here, then was upset when he wasn't cleared to play the next day.

But that's nothing new - Clark has been one of the tougher players on the ice and the most modest player off the ice since he arrived here last season. He has become a true leader of this young team and is a key part of the success of the Caps top line, which also contains Dainius Zubrus and Alex Ovechkin. I don't think it's a coincidence that the Caps have lost the last two without him in the lineup.

There was talk in the offseason that the new captain would simply be a placeholder for Ovechkin, someone to keep it warm until Ovie was ready. Don't get me wrong, Ovie will get the 'C' eventually, but Clark is so much more than just a 'C'-warmer. What Clark brings to the ice every night is a work ethic, an energy and an attitude that sets an example for everyone else in a Caps sweater.

He is truly one of the most underrated players in the league and one of my favorites.

Read More......

Dressup fun.

Who on your team desperately needs a makeover? Specific brand names and photoshopped visual aides will greatly help your cause.

Now I feel that need to explain how hardcore this post is. It's pretty hardcore. But it was mainly because I felt really bad for not posting lately. And I might not post as much depending on how I go. So I wanted to make it up to you guys. Now let me tell you about my rich brother. He moved out a couple of years ago but my parents are crazy and never ever packed away his room, they left it clean and neat lest he crashes for the summer or decides to quit his job randomly since he only works by contracts. He's the rich brother because he's the most successful out of us and he earned a neat 700AUD a day at one time. But my parents never pack away his clothes or his room. Call it a shrine of some sort. Oh and he works in IT.

So I just had to steal some clothes, take photos and play dress up. Now I don't know about the Habs with the worst dress sense. But I'll just wow you with some of the popular ones and things I've found of them not in uniform. We seem to be getting rid of the guys with the best looks, after all Theodore was pretty neat and Zednik... Well let me show you.


Left to Right: Ribeiro, Zednik, Kovalev, Souray & Begin (poor balding guy)

Nonetheless we merely lost a Tommy Hilfiger model and er... an incompetent center? However Kovalev is quite a genius at dressing like a pimp (though he reminds me of Gerard Depardieu way too much), whereas Sheldon Souray has shown to be a bit of a guy with a taste for expensive clothing. But I'm not too sure who's really the worst dresser. And when I mean worst dresser, I mean Ovechkin D&G belts hideous. I'll be happy to hear some suggestions, and even more, see some proof.

And on to some photos of what I managed from my brother's closet! And yes that is my foot in some photos. I had to take these photos standing on the bed. I'm pretty hardcore. Thus I present to you, the kind of clothes I found in the closet and would like to see on a hockey player.

Formal Event - NHL Awards
Now you don't want to look like a dud, especially with a rented suit or anything like that. It'd best to get a tailored fit for the win. Because, god do your arms look sexy if they wear the right clothing. This is a pretty basic outfit, pinstripe because it's always chic and never out of fashion. Plus it's pretty easy to pull off but only if it's the right fit. The shirt is a simple Polo dress shirt and a Kenji Urban silk tie. Nothing too striking, just simple black and a bit of colour. Can't go wrong with that can't you?
Potential Squee Factor: High. Whatever size you are, you can work it. The fit of the suit is important though.

Going to work but hanging out with friends after
This is where you mix it up a little. Wear something fun. Purple can be a fairly unisex colour unlike pink and just use the same jacket as above over a shirt and jeans. The ties can be a range of different colours and styles, from cheap to Giorgio Armani (far left). Afterwards just pull off the tie and jacket and well you look pretty don't you? Jeans are Andrew Mackenzie.
Potential Squee Factor: Dependant if the colours match the man. And it doesn't hurt if you're built like a Greek God.

Because I'm insane - Regular Casual
I have mixed feelings about leather jackets. It reminds me of the episode of Friends where Ross buys a pair of leather pants to find that his legs couldn't breathe and well hilarity ensues where he has his pants stuck to his calves and lotion all over his legs. But I guess if there's one thing Queer Eye taught me, it's that you can make ugly men look good with expensive of reasonably priced clothing. However if you're an middle aged rockin' dude, you'd probably hailed for wearing this. But if you're a youngun' people will call you a punk and try to beat you up. That or you might've starred in Grease. Nonetheless you could do it. But don't try unless you're insanely good looking or insane.
Potential Squee Factor: Absolutely high or absolutely low. Ovechkin-crazy.

Read More......

I'm alive I'm alive!

Le Capitaine is back! I've experienced a lot of withdrawal symptoms whilst my trip to Sydney, successfuly alienating me from my friends but the best part of the trip was at least being able to watch some games. Unfortunately I was so desperate to look at scores and blog posts that I almost ran out of money on my mobile and I didn't particularly have much time to check into a net cafe.

Apart from that... I missed you! I'm sure you guys can't see but I hugged the computer screen quite lovingly. It loves me too. I never knew having no internet was so hellish, and sure you guys can not blog and watch games and whatnot. But I only got to see two random games and none of them were teams I cared (except for the SJ vs LA game. I still refuse to believe the result was what it was). And I'm particularly busy, in less than two days I'm leaving for Montreal. I pray to god that my uncle has a computer. That and I've been doing a lot of washing.

Nonetheless some simple questions as I've been out of the loop:

• Welcome Margee! Glad to see an Islanders fan! Which is great because I caught the Dallas/Islanders game where DiPietro got his shutout and at the end as the players congratulated him, he did this weird hip shake and jump against a certain player. I was so curious and somehow DiPietro went higher in my "kooky but possibly cool" books. Is this a regular occurrence?
  
• What the hell did Staios do to get a total of 50 PIM? What'd he do? Kill a kid? Or did I just miss something minor and it was always there?
• I know this is sad but you guys know more than me, all I've been doing is feeding kangaroos (and emus!). How's my team looking? Any line changes? ... What about my chunky monkey?
• About the meetup in Toronto, it seems that the 9th and 16th are Fridays, I'm very likely to be there for the weekend so we can juggle it to a day later or so. And I look very 19 by the way (though I must admit on certain occasions I've used an old drivers license belonging to my sister who is the spitting image of me). And I've used it to commit certain crimes. I have to be honest, I'm not proud of it but I got the job drunk- I mean done! (Seriously I didn't realise I wrote that).
  

I had a couple more questions but they've escaped me. But I'll answer the last question about the All-Star choices. I think Toskala and Michalek were robbed (the SJ game is still fresh in my mind) and well there are a lot of unfair decisions but I can't really complain.

For the East, it was pretty simple: I chose Crosby, Ovy and Koivu. Mainly because Crosby deserves that experience and Ovechkin will put up a great game - he's a joy to watch. They're guaranteed to be in it in my opinion but maybe that's me. I got Koivu in as well because... Well the Habs are a bit scarce here. I chose Souray anyway for the Defence because he's bringing sexy back, and Campbell only because I liked what I saw of him last time. For the goals, I chose Lehtonen because I liked that or Lundqvist. Lehtonen's had sweet games and Lundqvist is pretty. But Lehtonen won on account of being a Finn. Oh and having mad skillz.

The West was actually easier to pick, I went all-Oil for the forwards: Smytty, Sykora and Hemsky. It really made me think that if Sykora could make the list, what about so many millions of other players? But I guess I'm just naggy. Defence was Niedemayer and Phaneuf. Pretty self explanatory there, have you seen that kid hit!? Apart from that the goaltender was of course the loving Roloson. I know people hate him but he's going to be awesome for the All-Star. Especially if he goes all diva. Which makes me think, should we really be picking our favourite players or the strongest players? I mean we know they're good, we've seen them play. But shouldn't we be looking forward to a night of fun and possibly, laughs? Why not throw in some low scoring enforcers and have a fight every five minutes between the greats? Or some pretty puckhandlers flipping the puck to and fro until they screw up and look like a clown in front of everyone.

Damn it, the more I try to justify my picks, the more I regret that I already submitted them. I should've made an effort damn it.

And the extra picks were Toskala for the win and since my Habs players have as much chance as Phoenix winning the cup, I randomly chose a player as I was going for the "funny" angle. I got Tanabe. Hah.

That's it girls, another bunch of votes WASTED.

Read More......

Pyatt is a riot in drag

Who on your team desperately needs a makeover?

Well, I can't think of anyone who is in desperate need of some image help on the Canucks, but I can definitely contribute a photoshopped pic...

As Loxy from Hot Oil pointed out in a Comment on my site, Taylor Pyatt is kinda girl-y lookin'. Let's take a look at what he'd look like in drag...

Read More......

Snazzy Nazzy

Meet Markus Naslund, six-year Captain of the Vancouver Canucks. Born July 30, 1973, in Örnsköldsvik, Sweden, #19 is married to wife Lotta and has three children, Rebecca, Isabella and Alex. He's been a Canuck for nine years and is affectionately called "Nazzy" by Vancouver fans. He's received multiple awards over the years including the Lester B. Pearson Award in the 2003-2004 season, voted by his peers as the League's most outstanding player. And his mug even graced the cover of EA Sports NHL 05...



Good friends with Todd Bertuzzi, the thug who landed the neck-breaking hit on Steve Moore, the rumours say that Naslund's allegiance with Bert created a rift in the dressing room last year. Bertuzzi was traded to the Florida Panthers in the off-season, but unfortunately getting rid of that poison hasn't transformed the team into a winner. Nazzy hasn't been the offensive powerhouse the Canucks are sorely needing this season, with only 9 points so far.

The Canucks Captain has often been playing on a line with his fellow Swedes the Sedin twins (Daniel and Henrik), sparking a nickname for the line: "The Swedish Touch". That is also the name of a 'rub and tug'-type massage parlour in Vancouver, The Swedish Touch. Like the ladies in thongs and stillettos at the massage parlour, The Swedish Touch on the ice has been a tease, not producing as much goal-scoring as we hoped.

Read More......

O Captain, My Captain!

I'm a smart college kid, I know my poetry! Or, I've just watched "Dead Poet's Society" more times than I should have [three different classes showed me that movie in high school]

In any case because our very own captain, Jordi is off in Sydney this week having fun while those of us in Canada are freezing our butts off, this week's topic shall be about captains.

Crashing the Net on NHL.com released their Top 10 list of Team Captains a couple of weeks ago. So introduce us to your team captain. Who they are, what they do, what type of ice cream they like if that information is readily accessible. Who do you think will make a great captain sometime in the future, immediate or otherwise. Also, if you have time to take a look at the list, tell us who you think was left off the list, who shouldn't be on the list and whether or not you felt that that was really the best picture of Joe Sakic they could have used.

The creative challenge was also suggested by Jordi a few weeks ago. Who on your team is in desperate need of a makeover? Actual brand names and stores needed and although photoshopped images are not mandatory, gold stars will be handed out if they are included.

Read More......

One Team. Many Goals.

So we're watching the Sabres game the other night with some family and a commercial comes on that features the slogan for the season - One Team. One Goal. The team in question is the Sabres, of course, and the goal, also pretty obvious I think, is the Stanley Cup. My sister-in-law watches the commercial and then says with complete and total seriousness, "I don't know how they plan on winning many games if they only score one goal." Even after an attempt to explain that they weren't talking about *that* kind of goal, she didn't seem to get it and insisted that something like "One Team. Lots of goals" would make more sense and be less confusing.

Dumb people are so cute sometimes, aren't they?

Read More......

Is that an Oil Slick on my Team?

OMG, guess pay back is a bitch, huh? How do the Blues beat the Oilers on Sunday and then less than a week later look worse than a farm team against them?

Not only did the Blues get outworked, they got caught in traps, weren't covering the net, had mediocre passing, way too many turnovers, and far too many penalties. The sad part about it is the SOG. They only had one less than the Oilers. But that obviously didn't effect the scoreboard.
It wasn't like they weren't trying to get to the net. But when they did, guys were out of position and if someone dug the puck out of the corners and shot it in front of the net, no one was there for a possible deflection to slap it in. Honestly, I couldn't even watch the third period.

The Blues are obviously lacking confidence. And being on a five game road trip against some heavy hitting teams isn't helping to get any back.

They need some serious help on their D and in net. Oh yeah, and Doug Weight needs to start scoring. And Jay McClement needs to stay out of the box.

Read More......

Yes, they still exist.

Our new addition, Margee from SportSquee proves that not all New York Islanders fans are completely crazy. Well, maybe. We'll just have to see won't we?

Welcome Margee!

Back to [stupid] Finance!

Read More......

Yes, I'm an Islanders Fan. No, I'm Not Kidding: An Introduction to Margee

I'm margee. I'm the head bitch at SportSquee, a general sports blog that does it's best to feed my addiction to hockey and squee(!)-worthy men in all sports. Here on the hlog, I will be the voice of the tens, make that dozens of New York Islanders fans who thirst for their opinions to be heard. I have an aresenal of excuses and nonsensical rationalizations cocked and ready to defend my team. And I think I'm going to need all of them.

Where you're from, what you do - basic things.

I grew up on Long Island. No, I don't know Joey Buttafuoco, but my cousin does! I now live in New York City and work in television. In my spare time (ha!) I knit, try to avoid buying leather, chill with my niece and nephew, and search for a shampoo that will make my naturally curly hair both silky and bouncy.

Your team and why you like them

My favorite team is the Islanders. It's the only major league team that really belongs to Long Island, a place that has kept hockey hair aliveand well in the metropolitan area for many, many years. The Isles have a certain scrappy, dogged charm on top of the geographical perfection. Even when the team is stacked with good players, it always feels like they're the underdogs. And Long Island loves an underdog, or unda-dawg as it were.

Your least favourite team and why?

The Rangers. There is a Madison Square Garden-sized chip on the shoulder of every Islanders fan. The Rangers just reek of the same exclusivity and elitist bastardness of the Yankees and, to a lesser degree, the Giants. The Islanders and their fans will always feel less-than, especially now that we can't shout "1940!" every time we see a blueshirt. I also dislike the Devils, Avalanche, and Maple Leafs for no good reasons.

Your favourite player of all time & now?

As a young fan I loved me some Pat "La-La-La"Fontaine. He was a hero to Islanders fans of my age. My dad regaled me with tales of Billy Smith, Mike Bossy, and Bryan Trottier, but they were a little before my time. And of course I loved Wayne Gretzky, and watched his Saturday morning cartoon show with Bo Jackson and Michael Jordan. My current favorite Islander is Miro Satan, who, prior to this year at least, always had this look on his face like, "C'mon guys! Do I have to do everything around here?" And they'd take away my Islanders fan card if I didn't say I love Jason Blake. You can get banned from the Nassau Coliseum if you don't declare your love for him at the door. But my current favorite player is probably Dany Heatley or Tim Connolly, when healthy. Heatley for the unselfish play, and the fact that he passed up the draft because he wanted to go to college to be like his dad (he had a B average and loved American History... squee!). And Connolly for the creativity.

If you had to punch one hockey player or member of the NHL organisation, who and why?

"Mad" Mike Milbury for turning my team into a joke.

What you'll be looking forward in this group blog.

Getting the perspective other devoted fans. Surrounding myself with people full of enthusiasm for and knowledge of the game. Groupies.

What you don't like in general?

Jerks. People who play for the Yankees/Rangers. People who root for the Yankees/Rangers. When pretzels get wet. People who act surprised to find that a girl likes sports and isn't orating from her own bum. TomKat. When the catering service at work has no vegan options. Other vegans. People who call Wednesday "hump day." Anyone who can't appreciate the lyrical wisdom of Whitney Houston or Neil Diamond.

What role do female fans play in keeping the game alive?

Ladies bring faith. I've known too many guys jump off the bandwagon when their team starts losing (see: Isles ticket sales for the past few years). We invest in a player and are last to give up even when he's playing badly. Women have much longer memories. We can remember when a given player wasn't a goat or we hold out hope for the day when he isn't. Guys don't always do that.

What role do female fans play in picking heroes for the community?

Women play a role, for sure. Jose Theodore would get egged at every start if it weren't for his female fans. Though, I think that time is almost upon us.

Hockey just isn't the same without ___

Fights. Sorry, I know it's an unpopular opinion. But it's interesting to see how a fight sparks or deflates a team. To me it shows a brotherhood among the players. That a player will not let another team screw with his boy. It's indicative of the passion hockey ignites. And it's a rare display of humanity from a sport densely populated by stoic men. However, this is coming from a girl who knocked someone's teeth out in a friendly all-star soccer game.

If you were on a deserted island, which player would you pick to stay with you?

Choices, choices. Maybe Dion Phaneuf because he could light a fire with his eyes and knock down trees with a well-placed elbow. Or maybe Zdeno Chara because I could lash myself to his back and he could use his brute strength to swim us to safety. Or perhaps Brendan Shanahan, who's funny and could gnaw trees into firewood and catch fish in his gigantic teeth. Shucks, I'll say Sidney Crosby, because he's so determined and competitive, he'd find a way to build me a tree mansion and train monkey butlers.

Crosby, Ovechkin or Phaneuf (hey he tried!)?

In a bold move, I'm going with Phaneuf. Because there are so few complete defensemen in the game. Another season and he's better than Pronger.

The player you'd like to take for a grand night out/a movie/a boring event

For a grand night out, I'll say Alex Ovechkin. Because he doesn't speak the language well, I'd seem that much cooler to him, and I'd bet he's up for anything. If he's wearing something tighter and more sparkly than I, we'll have a problem. To a movie, I'd take Colby Armstrong. He'd have a bunch of obnoxious comments, and I like that. To a boring event, I'd ask Ricky DiPietro. Because he wouldn't stop talking. Not for a minute. He'd close the place with his yammering, and I'd be so entertained.

If you could make your own team, regardless of whatever players, what would it be called and where will it be/how would it be like?

My team would be full of the loudest and weirdest players I could find (what's up, Roenick?). They'd be called the Warriors, just so when people finished three beer bottles at the arena, they could do the old "Warrior, Warriors...come out and play-ee-ay!" I would take my team to somewhere without professional sports, where we could live as gods among the workaday joes. But that place would have to have a 7-11, because I need to know that a slurpee is only a short distance away.

Read More......

The Buffalo Sabres All-Star Team

Who do you think was left off the All-Star ballot that should be there and why?
Who are you going to vote for that is on the ballot?

I voted twice so far. The first time I voted for all the Sabres on the ballot (Maxim Afinogenov, Daniel Briere, Chris Drury, Brian Campbell, Henrik Tallinder, Ryan Miller) and cast a write-in vote for Thomas Vanek.

The second time I kept my votes for Campbell and Tallinder. I think they're both a stretch to make the team, atleast as starters, because of a lack of name recognition, but to me, the defensemen are the unsung heroes of Buffalo's team. Tallinder doesn't get a lot of attention outside of Buffalo because he doesn't generate a lot of offense (although I think he has a nice scoring touch and could be more offensive if called upon), but he's the guy who goes up against the opposition's top line and more often than not, he gives them fits. He's a fast, graceful skater, he's strong, he has an amazing reach, and like all Buffalo defensemen he makes those beautiful outlet passes. The fact that he's on the ice with the other team's big guns makes his +10 even more impressive than it already is. I really think it was his injury that affected the team the most in the post-season last year. And Campbell, geez! Where to even begin? At the beginning of last season there were plenty of people who would've traded him for a bag of pucks, but he has totally blossomed over the past couple of seasons. To me he's the prototypical defensemen for the new NHL. He's a great skater (he skates backward better than some guys skate forward), he can handle the puck like a forward, he knows when to pinch and join the rush, he's almost always in good position and when he isn't, he's fast enough to compensate. He's not very big but he's stronger than he looks and positions himself well in relation to the puck and the opposition. He's currently in the top ten for defensemen in points and assists and is second only to Nicklas Lidstrom in +/-. Yeah, I love my defensemen.

I also voted for Alexander Ovechkin, Evgeni Malkin, Brendan Shanahan, and Kari Lehtonen. I don't really know how Lehtonen's season has been as a whole so far, but I was super impressed with him in Atlanta's game here in Buffalo.

In the West I voted for Ryan Smyth, Ales Hemsky, Henrik Sedin, Scott Niedermayer, Nicklas Lidstrom, and Marty Turco. I haven't seen a ton of Western Conference games so I will admit there's more "Oh, yeah I like him" going on there.

While I hate to complain that any Sabres were overlooked I really think Thomas Vanek should've been on the ballot. If you made me choose, I'd probably vote for him over Drury at this point. He's off to a great start and is another young Sabre who has really blossomed over the last year or so. He leads all forwards with a +16 and is the only player with double digit goals (11) and a double digit +/-. That's amazing since he was benched during the playoffs for being lazy defensively.

I'm going to vote a few more times I think. I'd like to get Max on the team so he can participate in the fastest man competition - that boy can fly. I'll admit that I'm going to be a total homer for the most part this year but I will comfort myself with the knowledge that many of my guys are worthy. It's been a while since that happened in Buffalo, you know? Gotta take advantage of it while I can.

Read More......

New weekly topic

As per Rebecca's suggestion, here we go:

Who do you think was left off the All-Star ballot that should be there and why?
Who are you going to vote for that is on the ballot?

Read More......

All-Star Shakedown

It's All-Star time, ladies! Voting is supposed to open today, although I haven't seen it anywhere. Anyways...while I think the NHL did a good job this year of including some people that should be in but may usually be overlooked, there were, as always, deserving players who missed the cut.

Here are my picks for this year's oversights:

- Vyacheslav Kozlov – Believe me, no one hates the fact that three Atlanta players are leading the NHL in scoring more than I do. But how do you include two of them on the ballot and not the third? Kozlov not only has the same number of points (26) as Kovalchuk, but he also is +6, showing that he is a more complete and defensively responsible player. Incidentally, Hossa and Kovalchuk are +2 and 0 respectively...

- Michael Komisarek – He may only have 4 points, but I think we sometimes forget that defensemen are supposed to be, well...defensemen! That means they defend the goalie instead of rushing up ice for the glory. Komisarek is a young talent for Montreal and is +8 on the season. And if you need those shiny offensive numbers, he’s leading the league with 2 shorthanded goals – not bad for a kid.

- Vesa Toskala – I've said it before, but I'll repeat myself - Toskala was really robbed this year. He’s got great numbers and has continued his solid play in net from last season. How he was missed in favor of ‘Bulin is beyond me.

- Dainius Zubrus – Okay, I may be a little biased here, but come on – why is no one taking notice of what this guy is doing? I guess it’s because he has a linemate who’s kind of famous, but still...Zubie has been really amazing this season, netting 11 goals on only 36 shots, winning over 50% of his faceoffs and taking care of his defensive responsibility.

I'll put this up as a potential discussion topic - who do you think was left off the ballot that should be there and why? Feel free to spread those biased wings and pick every player on your team. It's never stopped me...

Read More......

Hi, there.

I'm a bad, bad, bad lady o' greatness, because I kind of forgot to post. Hi, I'm Heather. No, the other Heather. Heather C. I live near the Bruins, and while I like the team in Boston, I love their farm team in Providence so much more it's beyond scandalous.

I'll be back, but for now, here's my INCREDIBLY LATE getting-to-know-me questionnaire:

1. Where you're from, what you do - basic things.
I was born on a windy, blustry day in March in New England. The location of my birth is top-secret, as deemed by the government. I call Boston home, and when I'm not skipping family events for the hockey, I am most often found playing princesses with my nieces.

2. Your team and why you like them.
The Bruins of Boston and Providence, mixed with a dash of the Ottawa Senators, the New Jersey Devils, and the Los Angeles Kings. Why do I like them? That's highly-classified information.

3. Your least favourite team and why?
The Canadiens. Because... why not?

4. Your favourite player of all time & now.
My most favoritest player retired, so I've had a top-ten list of men who can only ever dream of being my favoritest player ever since: Jason Spezza, Jordan Sigalet, Martin Brodeur, and others. If PrisonBreak's Wentworth Miller would just up and wear some hockey pants, we'd have a clear-cut winner.

5. If you had to punch one player or member of the NHL organisation, who and why?
Mike Ribeiro. I still harbor resentment from the dive he took in the 2004 playoffs where he writhed on the ground in "pain" to draw a penalty. I want to club him with the Oscar for Best Acting by a Weasel in a Playoff Series.

6. What you'll be looking forward to in this group blog?
Hanging with other girls who get that sometimes, loving a sport isn't all about the cute boys. Sometimes, it's about the sport.

7. What don't you like in general?
My turn-offs include people who kick puppies, punch infants, drive slower then I do, and don't use their turn signals when driving. I also don't like my food touching on my plate, and think that people who confuse the 'devil horns' hand gesture with the sign language hand sign for 'I love you' ought to have their privilege to breed revoked.

8. What role do female fans play in keeping the game alive?
Other then buying tickets and merchandise? They talk the sport with others, hype it up to others, and get their friends to come. It's marketing, grass-roots style.

9. What role do female fans play in picking heroes for the community?
They have the ability to look at a player as a complete person, as opposed to most men, who just care about save percentages or shots on goal. Women are able to pick a hero based on not only the stats, but on attitude and demeanor.

10. Hockey just isn't the same without...
A passion for the game or the team.

11. If you were on a deserted island, which player would you pick to stay with you?
Ha! Like I could pick just one. Each boy I would bring, though, would serve a specific purpose. Like wood-chopping duty to feed the flames of desire. Or like Jason Spezza's duties- he'd be in charge of bringing me my alcoholic beverages, on a silver platter, and then fanning me with palm fronds. But we can talk about Heather's House For Wayward Hockey Boys at another juncture, when we have more time and aren't in a family-friendly environment.

12. Crosby, Ovechkin or Phaneuf?
I admit that I paid very limited attention to all three last season, but I did want Ovechkin to win the Calder.

13. The player you'd like to take for:
A grand night out - Martin Brodeur.
A movie - Steve Eminger.
A Boring event - Jason Spezza.

14. If you could make your own team, regardless of whatever players, what would it be called and where will it be/how would it be like?
Oooh, the responses I have for this. Do I go dirty and say that they'd be based in my bedroom? Do I go the more family-friendly route and be professional about this, as if I actually had the money at my disposal to build a Cup contender? Oh, the decisions.

Read More......

100!

Who knew that when Jordi had her brilliant idea that we would reach 100 posts in such little time. Hlog has grown so fast with great additions every week. Did you think it would be like this?

In time we should have the whole league covered and one day we could start the annual hlog conference in a city TBA.

Anyways, congratulations everybody. We are awesome and soon the whole world will bow to our power!

Read More......

hlog makes history ladies.

You guys free anytime December in Toronto? Nonetheless I am taking a pilgrimage to Montreal and dropping by Toronto on either the 9th or 16th of December. Now what's currently being discussed is a girls night out for anyone in Toronto which I'm completely hazy on. Don't look at me, I've never been to this darn city.

Now if anyone would like to join in, feel free to. Non-bloggers are free to appear, just send me an email or add some words to the comments with your criminal record. Either way it seems that the date of this event seems to be dictated by when I actually am in Toronto. I'll try to tell everyone ASAP if I actually get a solid date. For now if something terrible happens to me and there are several angry eager female hockey fans ready to party, it should happen either way.

So put in your 2 cents?

Read More......

The lean mean and possibly queer mascot of the Montreal not-Expos Canadiens

I'm going to steal a joke from some comedian I love. Guillame Latendresse now is a bit like an OK movie. It was good at the time but I don't want to ever see it again.

Especially if that movie was a bit of a bitch.

This is replacable with Janne Niinimaa who is a joke himself so it won't be too hard. And don't give me some lecture about not to be irrational. I'm a woman, we invented irrational hatred. We call it PMS.


I introduce to you "Youppi!" or "Yipee!/Hooray!". The exclamation mark is very important girls. It helps you know that it's real. Nonetheless he was born 1979, bringing the mascot love to the Montreal Expos of MLB. So people looked in the bin of Muppet rejects and they found Youppi! and made him all he was.

Three days before my actual birthdate, 23rd August 1989, Youppi! reached a legendary status during a game against the Expos and the Dodgers. It was an unending game and Youppi! decided to kick it up a notch by dancing around the Dodgers dugout. He became the first ever mascot to be thrown out of a baseball game. Me and Youppi share a very special bond of annoying people. He was so good that he was inducted to the Baseball Hall of Fame, being one of the only mascots next to Phillie Phanatic and the Famous Chicken.

However his great antics with the Expos was the only good part of the game. Financial issues and people not caring forced the team to relocate and become the Washington Nationals. Youppi! though, they told everyone was still an integral part to the team but of course they backstabbed the hell out Youppi! by bringing in the lardass they called Screech. Youppi! was officially a free agent, looking for a new deal.

Thankfully Bob Gainey came to the rescue, adopting Youppi with a flashy 6 figure deal and making him the first ever pro mascot to change sports. Fans were a little mixed on Youppi!. Some didn't feel they needed another useless fourth liner eating at the salary cap. Some joked that he was a perfect backup goalie. Some just thought mascots were damn tacky. However he debuted in a sort of way that really welcomed him, and they say he's a hit with the children. Not much else can be said except he's taken to his new team quite well.

However while looking up dirt on Youppi!, I came across this page:

There were many funny moments with Youppi, which I’ll cover eventually, such as losing a shoe, spilling food, getting a woman to cry, playing with a vibrator, breaking a table, etc, etc.

Playing with a vibrator? Youppi! must've led some wild life. Some more anecdotes here.

Read More......

Guys who have seen each other way too much for comfort battle it out...

I just felt that this needed to be done. That and I am not thinking straight as my internet speed and my raging emotions are fighting.

Leafs vs Habs:
wins tied at 1-1.
Leafs have no Sundin (?) or Raycroft (not too important) or Kubina (... who's he?).
Habs have no Higgins (watch us implode with lack of skillz), no Dandenault and no Bouillon (like always).

If there is no Sundin - aces! Leafs mah friends, you guys are going down. Down, back to the dressing room. We shall lock you in there and make you listen to the game as we score empty netter after another. Of course things will happen to make the game interesting. Like a really intense game of checkers.

In all seriousness, I want a regulation win. You heard me, a regulation win.

That and I'm very tired and wanting to sleep so sorry if this post sounds like I'm drunk. Because I'm not. Really. I mean the Habs have been winning so why should I be drinking?

Read More......

Help a Girl Out

Can anyone here explain the difference between a shot and a scoring chance? I thought a shot was any shot that goes on net, but how can you have more shots than scoring chances? Wouldn't any shot on net have a chance of going in the net? I noticed at one point during tonight's game we had 4 shots and 3 scoring chances and I'm not sure how that happens.

Let me give everyone a tip for playing against the Sabres. Put us on a 5-3 powerplay. Seriously, I don't know what happens, but for that minute, minute and a half where we have a two man advantage everything falls apart. Passes don't connect, pucks get turned over, odd man rushes against us are created. It's very bizarre.

Read More......

Mascot Diaries

Ok, so the St. Louis Blues don't have a mascot. BUT -- I will entertain you all with a story of another mascot. If you read my profile, you'll know I'm originally from South Florida. I used to go to as many Panthers games as I could. My friends were autograph hounds (I wasn't, but rode with them - no choice) so they'd manage to get downstairs now and again. One particular time, I ran into this guy who was asking us why we were down there and what not. So we didn't get busted, I smooth talked him. Found out he worked for the Panthers. He was kinda cute, so it was a nice conversation.

My friends and I ended up going out downtown that night and oddly enough, ran into him. He was with another friend (they were both intoxicated) and his friend blurts out 'so do you know what [guy's name] does?' I'm like 'he told me he works for the Panthers.' So his friend says 'yeah, he's Stanley C. Panther!' I about fell over laughing. No offense, but really it's funny to meet the person in the costume.

Even funnier, we went on a few dates after that night. But things didn't work out so well. After that, I'd curse Stanley C. Panther every game I went to. I seriously considered going up to him during a game and punching him, but I didn't want to get banned from future games.

But some good laughs came out of it. My sister's boyfriend at the time made jokes about whether or not he uses a litter box, if he licks himself when he says he's gonna clean up, if he subscribes to Cat Fancy, etc.

The irony of it all was when I worked as an intern for the Panthers later. Yes, he still worked there. It was awkward. Good thing I never punched him.

Read More......

Oh, Harvey.

Having only attended two live Flames games at the Saddledome, all information I have for you is hearsay, but I do know that the Flames mascot is Harvey the Hound who is the first NHL mascot EVER. Chew on that bone, suckers.


Harvey comes in at 6'6" and 200lbs. His position is listed as "Centre of Attention" and has been around since 1983. The most disturbing fact is that he shoots right, and by shoot he means marks his territory. Eww. Working two jobs for milkbones, Harvey was also the mascot of the Calgary Stampeders which I find also strange because their logo is a horse...

Harvey's best moment was when he tore up a Canucks jersey in 1989 and most infamous moment was in 2003 when Craig MacTavish got mad at the hound for pestering the Oilers bench and ripped out his tongue. MacT must not be a dog lover.

Apparently the man who was Harvey at the beginning has been creating mascots for other organizations ever since. Interesting and strange...

Read More......

Heeeeeere's Stormy!

Yes, my team's mascot is a pig.

I get asked all the time: "AQ, why the Hel is your team's mascot a pig?"

(Get some coffee and a snack, this could take a while)

Way back in 97 or so, when Uncle Pete was talking about moving the Hartford Whalers to the Carolinas (after being told to step off by Columbus and electing not to bother with Hampton Roads, VA), he had to come up with a name for the team. The marketing genii that inhabited his brain trust at the time had, according to lore, come up with several names for the team--one of which was the "Carolina Ice Hogs".

Wow, if that name doesn't scream "REDNECK", I don't know what does.

Cut forward to the move--the name decided on was "Hurricanes" (which pleased me, because I was named for one). Now they needed to find a mascot. At the time, the leading frontrunner for the naming rights to the Raleigh Entertainment and Sports Arena was Murphy Farms (which is the leading pork producer in the state) because Wendell Murphy is an alumnus of NC State University and had already pledged up about $20Million or so for the naming rights.

I will forever owe a debt of gratitude to State for persuading Wendell Murphy to give his cash to the university directly instead of the Centennial Authority (who owns the building), thus sparing the Caniac Nation the humiliation of having its centre of power assume the appellation "The Hog Trough".

State repaid Wendell by naming the new training center for the NCSU Football team the Wendell H. Murphy Center (which you can see in this very impressive photo here--and it's equally nice-looking in person), and the Centennial Authority were free to pursue other naming rights options.

But there was still the issue of a mascot--which, it was decided, would be a pig in tribute to the biggest legal cash industry in the state:



That's the O.G. Stormy, which actually did look like a pig and was our mascot for the first five seasons in the Carolinas. Stormy's career didn't get off to the greatest of starts, as the first cat to wear the suit damn near kicked it before Greensboro Game One when he was overcome by Zamboni fumes. Ouch. But he recovered, and it was all good.

For the start of the 01-02 season, it was decided that there'd be a new look for Stormy--which led to this:


"Can't sleep, pig will eat me."

Crack much? Anyway.

Stormy's big thing is launching t-shirts into the crowd with the help of the Storm Squad, jumping through a ring of fire on a 4-wheel ATV, sliding head-first down banisters (and I swear I saw him run right into an RBC Center securebot once, which was quite funny), occasionally zip-lining down to the ice from the rafters, clobbering other mascots (especially Thunderbug, Slapshot, and any other SE Division mascot) and the occasional asshat, and toolin' around in his phat ride:


Unpimp THIS, V-dub!

He's so popular with a lot of the fans (especially the kids) that the 'Canes even made a Stormy retrospective for last season:



Man that pig gets around.

Read More......

Sabretooth!

Ladies, allow me to introduce you to Sabretooth, mascot of the Buffalo Sabres. Sabretooth was selected as the Sabres mascot because the name of the team is right there in his name even though sabretooth tigers have never, to my knowledge, carried sabres or any other kind of weaponry for that matter.

Sabretooth's height and weight are listed as very big and huggable, respectively. (I think I'm going to start listing my own weight as huggable.) According to his NHL.com profile, Sabretooth is the only left-handed mascot in the league. It also claims that the strength and power of his left-handed slapshot makes him the Al MacInnis of NHL mascots. I hate to trash the hometown mascot, but I can't recall ever seeing Sabretooth take a shot so I think there might be a little bit of media hype going on here.

Sabretooth is known for entering from the rafters before every game. He also enjoys dancing, hugging small children, shooting t-shirts into the crowd, and banging on the glass. He really likes banging on the glass. His affinity for such activities won him his own spot on the Buffalo news lately. Please watch and enjoy:



You can't see this in the video, but Sabretooth was standing on the wall of the players' tunnel, fell into the tunnel, and knocked himself out. Fortunately, there was a veternarian who specializes in prehistoric species on the premises. The poor guy in the suit was left bloodied. Marty Biron was fine and will wildly and enthusiastically tell you all about it should you ever run into him, I'm sure.

There's been some speculation that we've been slipped a new Sabretooth this season. His entries from the rafters aren't quite as enthusiastic (he looks slightly terrified) and there's the aforementioned mishap with the glass. A few different theories have been bandied around. Here are a few of them:

Foul play. According to his NHL profile, Sabretooth has rivalaries with S.J. Sharkie, Carlton the Bear and Stanley C. Panther. Is that bear really as innocent as he looks? Was Sabretooth a victim of mascot on mascot crime?

Free agency. Other teams, anxious to mimic Buffalo's success last season, lured Sabretooth away with promises of big bucks and more ice time.

Budget issues. The Sabres are spending a lot of money on player salaries this year. Someone besides J.P Dumont had to be cut... Was it Sabretooth?

Seriously, I hate mascots, and I try to avoid them, but Sabretooth is very enthusiastic, great with the kids at the games, and seems to be very popular. I guess if you're into that kind of thing, he's all right. I don't really get the whole tiger connection, but hey, whatever. I guess you can't have a big foam sword running around.

Read More......

He owns more than one shirt.

Say hello to Carlton the Bear. He's 6'4," and 270 pounds, which is a bit on the low side for an average male polar bear. He does have a rather large midsection, probably due in part to enjoying giant pretzels, arena nachos and cotton candy.
He and I have this in common: we both like the Barenaked Ladies. However, only one of us can spell the band name correctly.
He lists the Toronto Raptor mascot is his best friend, although I looked around Raptor mascot sites and the feeling doesn't seem to be mutual.

I love mascots, so Carlton is no exception. I tend to think of them as animals at a petting zoo.
My major complaint is that he's sort of bland. I mean, a bear? That's as conventional as it gets. I would have personally preferred something like a human sized foam leaf with a cutout in the middle for the head (and holes for appendages), but I'm the type of person that laughs at things that aren't funny...so, I'd probably be the only one who'd enjoy that.

Oh yeah, he doesn't just represent the Leafs. How does the rest of Canada feel about this?

Read More......

Fin...he's tall, dark and spews

He's tall, dark and he spews something white when he gets excited.

Meet Fin - the Vancouver Canucks' killer whale mascot inspired by the breeching whale in the Canucks logo. He's 6'3", black with a bit of white and he puffs mist out of his blowhole when the Canucks score or he is interacting with fans. Apparently, his favourite food is B.C. Salmon, his favourite book is Moby Dick and his favourite movie is Free Willy.

I acutally like Fin - he's cute. But for some reason when I see mascots I have this uncontrollable childish urge to jump on their backs and take a few punches at their massive heads. Maybe it's because they look like the stuffed animals that my brother and I used to playfight with when we were kids. Or maybe it's because they look soft like those sumo suits so I know it wouldn't hurt? On the other hand, it is possibly because I get such a laugh out of mascot fights. Anyone else have this compulsion?

Read More......

He's Tall, He's Tan, He's Spartacat

Meet Spartacat, the "Ambassador of Fun". He's 7ft tall and weighs 156 kg. He can't talk, but he sure knows how to write. I know he looks kind of goofy with that big grin and the fact that he's missing a couple of teeth. But since he's a hockey mascot, it only makes sense that he'd be getting into the rough and tumble stuff as well.

One thing that makes Spartacat cooler than all of the other ones? He has a MySpace Page. And he likes the Foo Fighters, see how scene he is? Apparently he's 25 years old and he made his home debut in 1992 against the Montreal Canadiens.

It makes sense for the Senators to have a lion as a mascot since they have that whole Spartan theme going on. I still don't know what that has to do with Senators but I'm going with it. Sparty's very recognizable in the Ottawa area with all of the charity events and other special shindigs he shows up at. Normally I can't stand mascots but I adore this l'il guy because he appears to be just as snarky as me.

According to his site on NHL.com, his favourite bands are Cat Stevens and White Lion and The Stray Cats and his favourite movie is The Lion King.

His biggest rival of course is of the Toronto Maple Leafs. He has his own fan club for kids and his own collection of videos on the Sens website. Apparently he's quite the ladies man, and if you were hoping to catch his attention, he likes people who read as he is an active member of the "Read to Suceed" campaign.

You guys know I love him, but apparently, some people like him ALOT.

Read More......

Canadiens are a great team? Depends. Who's asking?

I would like to first say that to fix our very long sidebar, bios are restricted to 20-30 words. Fix it manually or request one of the html savvy kids to do it. And well. Yeah.

Anyhow, this is a post I want to make sure happens. After we beat Edmonton and we're not playing the Leafs till Saturday, so I wanted to give a short evaluation of how our kids are going.

(Firstly, I groaned when I saw Leafs. It's because those guys have been drilling our goalies and while I know it'll be different - it'll still be a variation of the same game that I've seen. But why can't we play anyone else? What the hell is with the rivalries? You're destroying perfectly good pairings by putting them on repeat! I want them to play the Sharks! Or I dunno, somewhere else! There's one thing this game has proved, we need to shuffle the matchups a bit more.)

And I spent a lot of time yelling "DUCK YOU GREENE!" and even though I slept on it, I still felt the same. Thanks to some alcohol I'm a lot more relaxed. Oh and I still hate Greene.

But there is one thing I'd like to address, which comes mostly from fan reactions in the aftermath of Oil-suck and Habs-frenzy. We still have no Higgins. Yet we somehow managed to beat the Edmonton Oilers. I know they're going through a slump but they seemed pretty due for a win. And well losing Higgins just sucks. I want him back, I can't live without him. Hell I can't sleep without him. But when was Montreal suddenly a team where beating teams even without a key player was normal? What? Where? I want to grapple some stupid lies people say about the Habs and as well uh... If you think I'm wrong then tough. I write this post. I say what happens.

The Montreal Canadiens are not a speedy team.
The Habs fans and haters will agree on that. One needs to understand how this works. A speedy single player must slow down in order for a slower linemate to catch up. Additionally, lines with little "chemistry" are more likely to fumble or take careful passes. Speed is all relative people. One or two fast skaters won't account for everyone else. However their speed is still there, it doesn't mean this is a slow-as-hell team. The terrific first line is usually effective - Koivu & Ryder both skate like they're high. While the second line isn't exactly the speedy Russian line as people dreamed it to be, they're very agile skaters and have great east-west speed. Apart from that, certain floaters pop up to score what could be a GWG.

The Montreal Canadiens don't have grit?
Komisarek plays like the energizer bunny, what else do you need? Nonetheless the game against E-town cleared that up easy. Three whole fights like it was old school hockey again they say. Komisarek arguably won against Winchester (who punches like a girl!) even with the lights out. Additionally Souray shows his determination and loyalty with giving Greene the spanking he deserved. While Johnson turned out fine, he was obviously shaken.

The Montreal Media are evil.
I think that is fairly true. Being evil is a pre-requisite to work with them. However what they love more than critisizing any of their scapegoats is to stir the pot with tasty quotes. And while I may not like Lats much, I sympathise with the recent events where Roy has constantly undermined Latandresse's position in the team. For chrissakes he's 19 years old. Lay off him, he's no Sidney Crosby and no one is asking him to be. Though the media does herald Guillame to be some sort of vanguard for... never mind.

They'll never beat their divison rivals.
I dunno it looks pretty peachy. Sure we might lose a couple of fights against the Sens, Bruins or the Leafs but we seem to be achieving a lot more than any of them. Screw Buffalo since they're not human. But the Leafs have played about three more games than the Habs and there's about 4 potential points there for us to lead in front of them.

I've just gotten a mind numbing headache so this will do for now. I still stand by my first ever prediction of them only making conference finals at the most. They're good but not that good.

And if you can't be bothered reading what I said, this article chronicles our Habs well. That and Souray coolness factor has been rising since that game.

Read More......

In which I finally stop crying.

SENATORS 4 at THRASHERS 5

I watched most of this game through TVU and I honestly am beyond the point of anger and exasperation. I am beyond throwing things at the screen or screaming someone's name in agony. I have reached the point where I see the utter absurdity that is this team; hallelujah, girls and boys, I have exhausted my entire regular season emotional reserve.

And this was the game that did it. It started out relatively benign -- someone on HFboards pointed this out, actually, and it's an apt description: this game was the history of the Ottawa Senators in 60 minutes.

In the first period, they play well, great, building up an optimistic lead. This has been our regular season. In the second period, they are clawed, forced to fight, and don't come out looking too great but somehow barely hang on. This has been the first round of the playoffs. In the third period, we witness a meltdown of either

a) the entire team or b) goaltending,

which is rather spectacular and amazing in and of itself to observe. The magnitude and magnificance of the ways in which this team can fail is utterly captivating; I would make the case that the Senators are the most interesting team to watch night and night out in the NHL right now. We've failed by complete meltdown, surrendering a 3-0 lead; we've failed by blow-out; we've failed by overtime goals; we've failed by special teams. Really, no lead is safe when we play and you always know that we'll find a way to come crumbling down in a spectacular fashion, much like how an elephant trips and stumbles on a tack or Jenga blocks ....

The kicker, the most unique thing about this team, is that in our last two losses, we've actually chased out the opposition's goaltender and proceeded to get shut-out by their replacement and actually LOSE. This isn't even divine punishment anymore, it's just absurdity. It's absurdity in the most existentialist way I've experienced: there is no meaning in any of this.

Really, watch the Ottawa Senators. It's your lesson in the possible ways of losing.

Cross-posted at Hockey Will Tear Us Apart.

Read More......

Are Eagles Democrats or Republicans?

Introduce us to your team's mascot. Do you love or hate it?

Back when the Caps came to town in 1974, everything about the new team was patriotic. The colors were red, white and blue, the parking lot at the arena was divided into monuments, and of course the mascot was a slightly goofy looking eagle named Winger. (Who knew that eagles came in red, white and blue??)
The kitschiness of the '70s soon wore off and when the Caps moved into new digs in the heart of DC, they unveiled a new look and a new mascot - and so on November 17, 1995, a giant egg hatched at center ice...

...and thus was born Slapshot the Eagle.

Slicker and with more attitude than his predecessor, Slapshot soon developed a penchant for soaring down out of the rafters and trying to eat the heads of opposing fans in the stands. Of late he has become renowned for his own brand of daredevil mayhem, starring in a series of 'Slapjack' clips that are featured during TV timeouts.

Like 'Jackass'...get it? So clever.

Slapshot is also the reigning DC champion of the all-bird mascot tournament, held last year between the Baltimore Orioles' Bird, Screech the Nationals eagle, and American University's Clawed. Not that it was ever really a fair fight - he's one bad dude, our Slapshot (plus have you seen Screech? Never met a donut he didn't like, I'm sure...)

I don't really consider myself a fan of Slapshot, but it's nothing personal - I just have a fear and distrust of people dressing up in big costumes...mascots, clowns, the characters at a theme park. All of them give me the creeps.

Plus I hate birds.

Read More......