Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Dressup fun.

Who on your team desperately needs a makeover? Specific brand names and photoshopped visual aides will greatly help your cause.

Now I feel that need to explain how hardcore this post is. It's pretty hardcore. But it was mainly because I felt really bad for not posting lately. And I might not post as much depending on how I go. So I wanted to make it up to you guys. Now let me tell you about my rich brother. He moved out a couple of years ago but my parents are crazy and never ever packed away his room, they left it clean and neat lest he crashes for the summer or decides to quit his job randomly since he only works by contracts. He's the rich brother because he's the most successful out of us and he earned a neat 700AUD a day at one time. But my parents never pack away his clothes or his room. Call it a shrine of some sort. Oh and he works in IT.

So I just had to steal some clothes, take photos and play dress up. Now I don't know about the Habs with the worst dress sense. But I'll just wow you with some of the popular ones and things I've found of them not in uniform. We seem to be getting rid of the guys with the best looks, after all Theodore was pretty neat and Zednik... Well let me show you.

Left to Right: Ribeiro, Zednik, Kovalev, Souray & Begin (poor balding guy)

Nonetheless we merely lost a Tommy Hilfiger model and er... an incompetent center? However Kovalev is quite a genius at dressing like a pimp (though he reminds me of Gerard Depardieu way too much), whereas Sheldon Souray has shown to be a bit of a guy with a taste for expensive clothing. But I'm not too sure who's really the worst dresser. And when I mean worst dresser, I mean Ovechkin D&G belts hideous. I'll be happy to hear some suggestions, and even more, see some proof.

And on to some photos of what I managed from my brother's closet! And yes that is my foot in some photos. I had to take these photos standing on the bed. I'm pretty hardcore. Thus I present to you, the kind of clothes I found in the closet and would like to see on a hockey player.

Formal Event - NHL Awards
Now you don't want to look like a dud, especially with a rented suit or anything like that. It'd best to get a tailored fit for the win. Because, god do your arms look sexy if they wear the right clothing. This is a pretty basic outfit, pinstripe because it's always chic and never out of fashion. Plus it's pretty easy to pull off but only if it's the right fit. The shirt is a simple Polo dress shirt and a Kenji Urban silk tie. Nothing too striking, just simple black and a bit of colour. Can't go wrong with that can't you?
Potential Squee Factor: High. Whatever size you are, you can work it. The fit of the suit is important though.

Going to work but hanging out with friends after
This is where you mix it up a little. Wear something fun. Purple can be a fairly unisex colour unlike pink and just use the same jacket as above over a shirt and jeans. The ties can be a range of different colours and styles, from cheap to Giorgio Armani (far left). Afterwards just pull off the tie and jacket and well you look pretty don't you? Jeans are Andrew Mackenzie.
Potential Squee Factor: Dependant if the colours match the man. And it doesn't hurt if you're built like a Greek God.

Because I'm insane - Regular Casual
I have mixed feelings about leather jackets. It reminds me of the episode of Friends where Ross buys a pair of leather pants to find that his legs couldn't breathe and well hilarity ensues where he has his pants stuck to his calves and lotion all over his legs. But I guess if there's one thing Queer Eye taught me, it's that you can make ugly men look good with expensive of reasonably priced clothing. However if you're an middle aged rockin' dude, you'd probably hailed for wearing this. But if you're a youngun' people will call you a punk and try to beat you up. That or you might've starred in Grease. Nonetheless you could do it. But don't try unless you're insanely good looking or insane.
Potential Squee Factor: Absolutely high or absolutely low. Ovechkin-crazy.


hockeygirl said...

Now that you're back, you've set the bar oh so high for us regular folk. I'd almost forgot your supreme posting power. Oh Jordi.........

Rebecca said...

I'm not sure whether to take offense at the Ovechkin D&G belt shot or describe some of the other things he's been seen wearing. Nah, I'll save it for another time. Welcome back, Jordi!

margee said...

Excellent Squee analysis. The Canadiens have some natty dressers, so I can't suggest a makeover for any, but what was with the poppy pin on Souray? Dude.

Sherry said...

Dude, your brother has IMPECCABLE test in clothes. Pinstripes? I approve.

Jordi said...

I was fairly wowed at some of the clothes in there. I mean 300 dollar jeans wowed.

HG: no bar, no bar. Just crazy ramblings and how human shaped sacks work out...

Rebexxa: I love Ovie! I kid I kid! His belt and disco pants are pretty!

margee: I'm not sure but I think it's a charity pin. That or he took fashion advice from clown school.