Sexy's Back

The Flames -- boring, bland and the personality of cardboard. The Oilers? -- Yes, they have nice, overly excited fans, but clearly it's a case of compensation as there's really nothing there to be excited about. Buffalo? -- Ha! Call me when your team's able to grow decent facial hair!

No, girls and boys, the rest are clearly fluff and filler. I present the Senators ... fashionably late ... (I hope).

Note: Graphic intense! It's worth the trouble though.

Antoine Vermette.

(top photo from the files of this Sens fan, edited for size, hopefully she won't mind)

the mold, the David from which all other pale, Québcois imitations (i.e. Daniel Briere, supposedly; José Théodore, et. al) have sprung;

flawless, creamy skin;

heartwrenching smile ;

seems like the type to blush, if you know what I mean.

Daniel Alfredsson

"ravishingly beautiful";

Alfie in the cold at a Save-Our Sens Rally, when the Sens were endangered; Alfie taking the brunt of playoff criticism; Alfie being Alfie;

hauntingly gorgeous;

refined Swedishness (i.e. not the Beowulf-lookalike Peter Forsberg, who looks like he's just as likely to pillage your village as he is to kill a monster with his bare hands.)

golden, bronzed, Norse God.

Patrick Eaves

sexpot. sexpot. sexpot;

people will better catch on soon ... and take bigger photos of him... ;

"Sexy woman take me to your bedroom/ Let me show you how I work work work..." - DFA 1979 (RIP), Sexy Results.

Dany Heatley

the eye; the dilated eye, that expands into the sort of assymmetrical beauty of top supermodels;

wild, busy curly hair, the sort of look that he got too old to pull off but you know he'd do it if he could;

raw animal magetism when he's on the ice, lip curled and eyes blazing.

Jason Spezza

warm, easy grins and a sort of laughter that makes him easy to be around;

boyish, buyoant giggling and an easy manner;

frat-boy pretty;

has moments of quiet contemplation and determination that convince you he truly wants to be a good person.

Ray Emery

physical perfection.

there was a photo out a while ago of Emery's smooth, sculpted, tattooed chest as he was getting ink done. Where has it gone?!

Mike Fisher

piercing eyes -- flawlessly blue like the Hope Diamond

well-built, natural looking torso;

clean, fresh, trustworthy.

Wade Redden

fig. 1-a: Redden's demonstration of how to mentally visualize undressing the viewer and make everyone nervous (and a little bit turned-on);

smouldering;

cheekbones of a Greek God.

Anton Volchenkov

positively cherubic;

"hair-cut of a fourth-grader".

Alas, the Senators' previous hot quotient has been diluted into the league. But since there are no Atlanta or Chicago fans, I will include them as Senators, because in their hearts, they know they truly are. (Also, I've noticed that people tend to like either Heatley or Havlat ... but not both. Being of the Heatley persuasion, this is also a diplomatic gesture.)

Martin Havlat

skanky sexpot;

unwashen, unshaven, lumberjackesque charm;

appears to be filthy in bed.


Marian Hossa

purely angelic.

Zdeno Chara

height of a giraffe, grace of a ballerina, teeth of a vagrant; hands of mercy!

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It's so simple - Flames are hot

Taking my cue from Heather B., this why you should be careful when playing with fire. Oh dear, I might just get too carried away with lame puns about fire, flames, hotness, etc...

If you don't know by now that Dion's the one, then you are craaaaazy:



I was a little weirded out by these photos of him smiling. He's not supposed to smile, he's supposed to smolder.



I know it's hard to believe but there are some other lookers on the team. Don't get fooled by Iggy's super smile, he can pull hotness off too:


Rhett Warrener loves being on the water...

and being covered in water:

He has made ladies squee in Florida and Buffalo before coming to Calgary and last season won the Flames' Scurfield Humanitarian Award for his work in the community, most notably Retro's Bowlerama, which this year earned $20,000 for KidSport Calgary.

A pleasant surprise at the end of last season was when the youthful good looks of Jamie Lundmark showed up on the team. He broke hearts all over in 2005-2006 playing with the Rangers, the Coyotes, and in the AHL with San Antonio before coming to the Flames.

Other boys who get raise the squee-meter is resident smarty-pants Andrew Ference who is environmentally conscious and is involved with Right To Play.


And Matthew Lombardi (the one on the left!) has tall, dark and handsome all wrapped up (under the tree for Christmas?):


Robyn Regehr, what he lacks in "OMG HE'S SO HOT!" he makes for in "OMG HE'S SO HUGE!" Robyn at 6'3", 225 lbs is the biggest Flame. The two times I have watched the boys in their pre-game skate, it's true. Last season he was the "inaugural player recipient of the J.R. McCaig Award, which is given to a player who best exemplifies (deceased owner) Mr. McCaig's enduring virtues of respect, courtesy and compassion for all individuals he encountered both in his professional and everyday life." -calgaryflames.com

If you can, go roll in the snow to cool off now.

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This Post Goes Out to Margee...

Margee was a bit miffed that I left Tim Connolly out of my post about Buffalo's cute boys so this post goes out to her. Timmy is my very favorite Sabre. I love him, love him, love him. But it makes me pretty darn sad to think about him right now so I don't know, maybe that's why I left him out of the first post. It definitely wasn't intentional. Last I heard he was so discouraged at his lack of progress - he's still not working out or skating because of headaches - that he's quit hanging around the rink and the locker room because it bums him out so much. That bums me out. For a while I was adamant that he'd be back around the All-Star break, but even I'm beginning to expect that we'll get an announcement any day now that he'll be sitting out the season. I hope not though.

Anyway, here's Tim Connolly, "be gentle with me because I have a sensitive melon" cute.





Tighten up that chin strap, Timmy!






Just for fun, here's another look at Timmy's current look. The boy is clearly bored.


And finally, me in my (very large) Timmy jersey with his picture at HSBC Arena.


Come back soon, Timmy! I miss you!

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Cute Boys Ahead!

(I apologize for a post that I'm sure will end up looking very long when published. I'm not great with manipulating photos. I didn't want to make them TOO small and I don't know how to do the nifty "click to enlarge" thing that Rebecca did on her beautiful post.)

Here's the thing. My team is a lot of things, but hot just isn't really one of them. My boys are mostly cute - a preteen girl's dream really. If you want cute, well come on down because we got it in spades and we got it in every variety.

There's le petit Briere (told you I was stealing it, hockeygirl), the very embodiment of cute, the king of cute, one of the cutest people on the face of the earth. I mean, come on... look at that baby face. (Warning: He will bite if provoked.)

There's Chris Drury, "all-American boy next door" cute. He won the Little League World Series for cryin' out loud. He's as apple pie as they come.


There's Marty Biron, "I'll talk you to death and be totally funny and charming the whole time" cute.

There's Jason Pominville, "boy band" cute. The guys have teased him a lot about his Justin Timberlake hair which may or may not be part of the reason he seems to always slick it back now. (And really, that is quite a head of hair.)

There's Ryan Miller, "serious, philosophical, emo boy" cute.

There's Brian Campbell, "ginger-haired, smile that can light up a room" cute. (Not the best picture. For as much as the guy smiles on the ice, I couldn't find one good picture of it! Sheesh!)

There's Thomas Vanek, "on the edge of hot" cute. (I wavered on him because while I usually think he's just kinda cute, that hint of a smile in the second picture below totally gets me. Totally.)



However, buried in the cuteness there are a few examples of what I would call hotness, often where you're not expecting it.

There's Jochen Hecht, "so quiet you might not realize I'm friggin' hot" hot.


There's Teppo Numminen, "I'm trying to hide it under the ridiculous hair but the old man's still got it" hot. (Bonus picture of Teppo minus the hair.)


There's Derek Roy, "impishly cute with a badboy streak a mile wide" hot.


Then there's my two personal favorites:

Henrik Tallinder, "just try and resist my blue eyes and dimples (but don't look at me too closely in profile because I have a very pointy chin)" hot.



And one of my favorites which I can't save to my computer for whatever reason.

And Paul Gaustad, "Sweet and friendly but willing to throw it down if you come near my boys" hot.







Sometimes it really is all about good-looking boys, you know?

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