New Year's Resolutions

Okay, so I thought about just doing New Year's Resolutions for like, my team, the Montreal Canadiens, but then I thought, wait, with all the things you know Justice, that would be really boring.

So I'll start out with the Habs and then I'll move on to my other fave players throughout the league.

Les Canadiens de Montreal:

Saku Koivu resolves not to get hurt in the playoffs this year.

Gui Latendresse resolves to not let the fact that he has the coolest name on the face of the planet go to his head and to find that scoring touch he had in junior.

Alex Kovalev resolves play better hockey in the defensive end and bag a few game winners while he's at it.

Steve Begin resolves to play better hockey in the defensive end.

Alexander Perezhogin resolves not to hit anyone with his stick like a baseball bat - look at all the trouble that caused a few years ago - this should be a yearly resolution for him. He also resolves to get a better hair cut and score a few more goals.

Garth Murray resolves to not live in the North End if he ever comes home to Regina, to grow out the crazy white boy afro, like he had it back in the day, and to actually put some freaking points on the board.

Mikey Ryder resolves to quit talking like a Newfie eh? 'Cause everyone makes fun of him when he says "aboot". He also resolves to play better defensive hockey or to at least get off the ice before the defense blows it. Oh and to grow his hair out again, 'cause that shaved look does NOTHING for him.

Christobal Huet resolves to play freaking fantastic hockey, resulting in the name Christobal becoming one of the most popular names in the province of Quebec for male babies while the name Christobelle will become equally popular for the girls. Oh and it'd be nice if he lost the creepy Patrick Roy-esque hair.

Sergei Samsonov resolves to put more points on the board and to quit playing crappy when the other players make fun of his name. Sir-Gay? Get it? Haha!

Chris Higgins resolves to continue scoring short-handed goals and to take the lead league away from that punk ass 18-year-old in Pittsburgh.

Sheldon Souray resolves to never again marry a Baywatch Babe (present or former), to avoid Paris Hilton at all costs (remember what happened to Jose), and to continue looking far too hot for his own good at all times.

Around the League:

Ryan Getzlaf resolves to come hang out in the South End more. After all, that's where all the hot chicks are.

Corey Perry resolves to get laid more often on Ryan's leftovers, since he can't have Joffrey's anymore. Oh and talking in public on occasion might help. But only if you don't have a dip in your mouth. Chew is nasty.

Chris Pronger resolves to never, ever cheat on his wife ever again. Ever. (Or at least to not get caught this time, moron.)

Riley Armstrong resolves to not get sent home after like, two days of training camp. Maybe he should not spend the entire summer getting trashed and spend a little more time training. Dumbass.

Devan Dubnyk resolves to actually play in the AHL next year. And not to buy a car that's too small for his tall ass. Once was enough.

Dan DaSilva resolves to quit hanging out with Riley when he's being a douche. Which is all the time. Maybe Dan should resolve to stop being a douche himself, but that's about as likely as Riley not being a douche.

Jarret Stoll resolves to get over the like, old lady thing, and move on from Rachel Hunter. Jarret, honey, you're young. She's old. You're from Melville. Surely to God you could do better.

Colby Armstrong resolves to do as that chick on 10 Minute Major ordered and dumb his disgusting fake tanned girlfriend from Wilkes-Barre and to find himself a nice girl from Saskatchewan. Failing that, Saskatoon.

Dustin Boyd resolves to actually stick with the Calgary Flames instead of playing this up and down game. Failing that, he'll keep praying that Iggy or someone gets hurt.

Richie Regehr resolves to stop informing girls he wants to bang about the chick he banged the other night. So not a way to get them to remove their panties honey.

Dion Phaneuf resolves to... wait, why would he make a New Year's Resolution? He's already perfect. I mean, couldn't we tell that just by looking at him? We should like, pay him to do that, since he's so fantastic.

Jose Theodore resolves to say the hell away from all heiresses named Paris, especially when his daughter is sick in the hospital. Not that he'll stop cheating on Stephanie, it just won't be caught on tape - unless its his teammates camera phones when they tag team a chick, 'cause that's just cool.

Robyn Regehr resolves to continue to party like its 1999. Same as last year, and the year before that, and the year before that, and....

Patrick Coulombe resolves to spend his entire summer training his ass off with Sid the Kid in the hopes of actually sticking with the Canucks next year. Failing that, he knows where Luc Bourdon lives.... (Oh and take that bitches - Dan, Riley, see that? Patrick actually has a player page!)

Sidney Crosby resolves to quit playing second fiddle to AO and to win the scoring race by an insane number. While he's at it, he also resolves to help the gay rumours continue by not dating anyone.

Jordan Staal resolves to continue taunting his older brother Marc with the fact that he's in the show and Marc's not.

Marc Staal resolves to throw his two World Junior Gold Medals in Jordan's face and to taunt him with the fact that he'll never have one.

Alexander Ovechkin resolves to deal with his acne issue. Like seriously dude, get some proactive.

Okay, I think that's it for the moment. I might have more at some point, but now is not it.

Ryan O'Marra Quote of the Tournament: (Since it was said to the COACH with a camera in his face)

Is there any champagne in here? - Ryan O'Marra, Team Canada forward

Yay Canada! You rock the whatever it is they say in that song.

Gotta love those boys!