Mini SoCal HLOG Convention

Two posts in a row? I know, I'm such an attention whore.

Last night I finally met another HLOGer. Actually, I met two: Finny and Cassie. Several weeks ago Finny emailed me and asked if I was going to the Kings v. Minnesota game because for some unknown reason she was going (I guess she's just that dedicated to hockey!). Unfortunately I didn't go to the game but we soon found out that we would both be at the Kings v. Oilers game. She gave me her number in case I wanted to meet up and the day of the game I emailed her my number and suggested we meet up during warm-up behind the Oilers bench, since I figured it would be less crowded than near the Kings bench and I assumed she would want to ogle Penner. I mentioned that I was tempted to make a sign, something along the lines of:

"PENNERSQUEE, you're overrated!"
"PENNERSQUEE, you're a sellout!!"
"PENNERSQUEE, you're not worth the money!"

But I was worried that (a) my signs would never be able to live up to those that Heather made for her Sabres and (b) people might think that I was defending Anaheim...and that just could not happen.

Finny immediately called me and of course I missed the call. Her voicemail went something like this:

"Hey, umm, so I don't actually know your name!"

She also mentioned something about making signs, meeting up, and giving her a call. I went to Hockey and High Heels and as soon as it was over I called Finny to find out where we should meet. To my delight, Finny and Cassie were watching the warm-up near the Oilers bench. It was great to finally meet them and I had a blast for the 5-10 minutes that we hung out next to the ice shouting, "PENNER!!!!" everytime he skated by us. The first thing I noticed when I saw the Oilers was the size of Penner. Holy Hell, that guy is HUGE!!!!!! I literally could not get over it. Every couple minutes or so I would say softly, "He is huge! He is enormous! How big is he?" He was one of a few guys not wearing a helmet during warm-ups which also helped make him stand out more. I wish he had his mountain man beard because I think he looks even better with all of that scruff.

The first thing Cassie said to me when I moved to stand next to her was, "Oh wow, you're shorter than Finny!" Yes, I am. In fact, when I bought a pretzel during the second intermission, the guy serving me kept trying to make jokes which I never got because I couldn't really hear him and he finally asked, "How tall are you?" and when I told him I asked, "How tall are you?" Seriously, people....WTF?! Why does it matter that I'm really short? Have you honestly never seen a petite lady? I'm not a midget...but I am short, but there are plenty of people out there who are shorter than I am.

Finny and Cassie are a hilarious pair. They told me some great stories of spotting Ducks players around the Orange County beach areas. It was too bad that I couldn't experience an entire hockey game with them because I can only imagine how much fun they have watching hockey together. No offense to ckim, it is fun to watch her shout, "YOU FUCKER!!" amidst a surprisingly quiet crowd and watch people turn around to see who shouted it, but I couldn't stop laughing at Finny and Cassie when they were talking about Penner. He finally looked over at us near the end of the warm-up and we completely cracked up in a fit of laughter. Here's a pic of Penner bending over.

oh yeah, check out that ass...um...I mean, those hockey pants.

Unfortunately, we never got a pic of the three of us but I'm sure we'll meet up again.

x-posted to Purple Crushed Velvet

Read More......

I-95 Highlight Reel

Not for the weak of heart or short of time:-)



As IPB has already given us the heartfelt and intelligent version of the Hlog I-95 meetup, I'm going to go the "Best Of!" route, and I'm going to attempt to do it in chronological order. This may get ugly quickly.

All images used within can also be found at my Flikr site

Your blog for tonight will consist of:Pookie, Schnookie, CapsChick, Elly, Steph and Shmee. Your team will be the Washington Capitals. (or the Hershey Bears.)

Friday:
I arrived at Shmee's apartment. If parking was truly lighter than other days, DAMN, I am NEVER moving to D.C, as I went around a 6 block area for about 20 minutes looking for somewhere I could park Turco's ample posterior. (Turco is my 1997 green Subaru station wagon. Big. Slow. Green..... he sort of named himself.) After the pleasantries and introductions, we decided to go punish our livers in the rainbow district nearby.
Enter Gay Danny Briere. No joke. Little guy, button down shirt, dark hair cut into that awful shaggy-wedgy-wants to be a gymnast style, and I couldn't stop laughing. I believe there was a text message to the CapsChick/Steph party about him, but I was rather fermented at that point, and can't be sure. After soaking ourselves up in a little greasy fried stuff, we moseyed our way home, and crashed for the night.

Saturday:
We got going late, the Metro hung us up, and we stopped for Starbucks, so we didn't actually get to Kettler until around 10:40. Once there, it quickly devolved from "Get to know You" to "World's Loudest Hockey Fans Invade D.C. Mall, Details At 11." For whatever reason, one of the recurring weirdness of the weekend became Elly and my desire to make as many of the Caps as possible bastard love children of the Pens and to figure out their parentage. Our crowning glory was as follows:

This also allowed me to coin the phrase, "He's Maloney in the eyes."

Of course, later on we decided that all hockey players had a variation on one of about 12 heads, which is why so many of them look so similar... then every 20 years they bust up all the molds and make a new batch. But more on that later, when we get to Fluffy and BabyMalkin on Sunday.
It turns out that the Caps were also not the only team there. The Canucks had sent their forward scout, Comrie "Thorguld" Sedin. This poor guy got the dreadedly unsubtle 'turn and stare' from all of us, and was sufficiently creeped out enough to avoid making eye contact for the rest of the day. Of course, as far as weirdness levels go, Cape Dude was the hands down champion.

After the rookie scrimmage, (that's Scott Barney from Hershey) we wandered across the lobby en mass to the other ice rink, where we found the big boys doing drills. (and lost Elly to one of those dumb crane games.) It's ridiculously thrilling to me to be standing literally on the other side of the glass as two people attempt to shove one another through it, so I was having the time of my life. This was also the longest time we saw Ovechkin practice for the entire weekend. He and Semin seemed to have this idea that because they were the big names, they didn't really need ice time that badly.
Onwards, there was lunch (nachos and dip and chips and beer... some people had sandwiches), over which we discussed the role of the female fan, and how you couldn't really wear a Sidney Crosby jersey or and Ovechkin jersey and be taken seriously. Schnookie got the winning quote from that conversation when she brought it home with "We're sports fans...who objectify." I managed to challenge her quote supremacy later on the way back to Shmee's house, when we had to climb 2.5 stories on a dead escalator out of the Metro and nearing the top I whined "I'm getting Sidney Crosby butt from this!"
Shmee greeted us with a drink that went from being named "Rachael Ray's Spiked Pink Lemonade" to "Pink Drink of Firey Death" and the evening went downhill from there. Between Rocky-Horrorizing The Cutting Edge (we even had the SIDE PONYTAILS, come on) and Shmee recounting her adventures in supposedly skanky clothing, the evening could really only end with a field trip. And where else would one go on a field trip than to the Verizon Center?

Sunday:
Up and at it on time this time. Loaded into Turco, picked up the rest of the troops, and headed out the the rink again. This time, we settled in for the drills and actually watched what was going on, about three rows back from what we were guessing were Ovie's parents. Ovie and Olie were in rare form from the beginning, scrapping verbally during a shootout drill then each dancing when they managed to best the other. However, Olie's game disintegrated from there, and by the time they were done he had cracked his stick and wound up throwing it off the ice at one of the equipment people. CapsChick started edging away from us early this time, especially after Steph asked in true Steph loudvoice "Is Olie looking especially creaky today?" The rest of the first round players were in high spirits, however, and two of them wound up horsing around amusingly as well.
After a slight Zamboni break (and a chance for us to go raid the Caps store for the *right* team's stuff, we went back out to watch the prospies. Enter Fluffy, BabyMalkin, Backcountry Pyatt and NotMachesney. (in reality, Jay Beagle, Dan Kronick, Tyler Sloan(I think) and Kris Mayotte) interestingly enough, Alexander Semin was also lumped in with this second group, but spent more of it lounging on the boards and looking disinterested than he did actually playing. It was interesting to see the prospies go through the same drills that the big boys had just finished, because you could tell that these were the guys who were really WORKING to do well and make the team, not the guys that knew they were already there. Frederic Cassivi (Hershey's goalie) was down in the same net Olie had been in earlier, and wasn't doing much better. He seemed to be overcommitting to one side of the net and disregarding anyone not in his immediate line of sight. We debated getting him a flowerpot to improve the chi of that end of the rink, but decided that probably wasn't gonna be enough to help him. The other goalie, Kris Mayotte or NotMachesney, (as he was NOT Daren Machesney from Hershey the way we thought he was, but a potential Machesney backup, as Machesney broke himself at some point in the near past) was doing much better overall. After finding out that he was an import from the Arizona Sundogs, I really hope that they decide to keep him around and send him up here to Central PA to play with the Bears... not only was he showing some real promise, but he seemed to be meshing with all of the other prospies pretty darn well.
As all the prospies were packing it in for the day, we also got the treat of getting to watch Puck Handling 101, which was pretty downright amazing.

And of course, as we were leaving for lunch, we wandered into the other rink and watched the last period of a local hockey club's game, which was really much less GAME and much more FIGHT. I think I actually physically squee'd when the two dudes started pummeling each other directly in front of us, and I took way too many pictures, just proving my previously known goon slut tendencies.

All in all, I couldn't have come up with a better way to spend a weekend. Except maybe Pens camp, but even then, I wouldn't have wanted to spend it with a different group of people. I think the I-95 meetup may well become a half-yearly thing, and Elly and I are already plotting towards the Ice Bowl in Buffalo.


Oh, and when you thought it couldn't get much better? Hershey Bears open practices start Thursday.

I'll see you there!

Read More......

I-95 HLOG Convention

We've cross-posted this on IPB (with pictures) but thought we'd share it here, too. We're sure the rest of the participants have more fun and exciting pictures to share, as well.

After much anticipation and giddy planning, this weekend finally rolled around and with it came the first-ever I-95 Corridor HLOG Convention. We tossed some essentials into our overnight bags, fired up Pookie's iPod on shuffle, and zipped down 95 to meet up with CapsChick, Shmee, Teka, Steph and Elly. Friday night was a short one for us, as traffic was rough outside Philly and we didn't get to Kate The Great's house outside DC until the wee hours of the morning, but we were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to get together with the gang at the Caps gorgeous training facility on Saturday morning.

While it was disappointing to not hobnob with players in the elevator like CapsChick seems to every time she heads over to Kettler, it was not at all disappointing to meet our HLOG sisters for the first time. While there were only two among the seven of us who could recognize more than one Cap, we still managed to have a far, far greater enthusiasm for the practice session we were watching than any of the other several hundred other fans there. That may have had more to do with the fact that seven HLOGers in one place makes for an extremely loud group, but the fact remains that a lack of interest in the Caps did little to diminish the joys Capitals training camp has to offer.

We mean, if nothing else, it was hockey players. On ice. With sticks. And pucks. Hockey is back! Seriously though, the Caps did an amazing job making training camp a fantastic fan-friendly event. The free open practices were peppered with player autograph sessions, and the practice itself was nothing like any other open practice we've attended. For starters, there were actually some players there, unlike the open practice we attended in Buffalo the day after a brutal loss this past March. In fact, there were so many players there, they spilled over onto two rinks! Moreover, the players were doing many varied drills instead of standing around lazily for half an hour. The coaching staff worked them reasonably hard, and after an hour of drills the guys on the big rink filed off the ice, the zamboni did its rounds, and then the players came back out on the ice in their fancy new unis and scrimmaged. It was a typical low-scoring affair, so at intermission we wandered over to the smaller rink to stand up next to the glass while Ovie, The Future Mr. CapsChick (Ben Clymer) and several others continued to engage in drills. The whole affair lasted almost three hours! Of hockey!

The best part of this all was that our fellow conventioneers are totally awesome. We'd met only CapsChick before this weekend, and we were our usual nervous nellies about social contact, but we shouldn't have been too concerned. Within thirty seconds of introductions around the group, we became the Most Annoying People At Caps Camp. At one point during the session CapsChick and Elly walked around to the opposite side of the rink to take a closer look at the players' huddle and returned with the news, "You guys, we could hear you all the way over there!" Heh. Mission accomplished. If you ever get an opportunity, Gentle Reader, to hang out with any of these gals, jump at it -- every one of them is hockey-savvy, smart, witty, quick to laugh, and foxy as all hell (of course).

When practice finally ended we decided to take our annoyingly loud act to a sports bar; our choices were some disreputable dive or a place called Bailey's. You'll be happy to know that, despite their omission of the prefix "IP" before the "Bailey's", we voted to lunch there in honor of the Irregulars. It being Saturday, the place was stuffed to the gills with rowdy college football fans, but when you've got Steph and Schnookie in one place, volume is never a problem. We had a rollicking lunch of mountains of nachos, rivers of beer and a free-wheeling, hard-hitting, all-over-the-board conversation about all things NHL. And as the people around us cheered the various noteworthy gridiron happenings on the TVs, our one moment of spontaneous applause came when a commercial for NHL 2K8 appeared during one of the football games. Because we were clearly the only ones in there with our heads screwed on straight.

After lunch, as the afternoon was winding toward evening, we trooped back to CapsChick's swanky pad, where we tried not to fall asleep from the combination of too much travel, hockey overstimulation, beer and the videos of Ben Clymer she subjected us to (think "Clockwork Orange" -- just kidding).

Just when we all thought we were in danger of slipping into comas, we decided to take a scenic detour/walking tour of all of Washington, DC on the way to Casa Shmee. We're sure it doesn't normally take that long to get there, but CapsChick's enviable sense of direction served us well as we traversed what seemed like every inch of sidewalk in our nation's capital. The carrot at the end of the stick during this epic trek was the promise of some highly potent party punches and a screening of "The Cutting Edge". Gentle Reader, it seems we will walk to the ends of the Earth for that combination. The trek was well worth it, as the punches were more potent and packed more party in every sip than we could have every imagined. Where was Shmee's "Pink Fire of Death" lemonade when this dreaded off-season started? We think the long months of June, July and August would have been a lot more manageable if we'd had a few pitchers of PFoD to dull the pain.

As for the movie, we've seen it probably close to 300 times, but it's never been as much fun as it was with this group. The fact that Elly hadn't seen it yet should probably have prompted us to hold back on shouting out lines before they were said. It didn't. Nor did it stop us and CapsChick from showing off our very best Cutting Edge skating-routine form.

Because we still had to find out way back to the trusty IPB Mobile (still parked at the ice rink) and then drive back to Farifax, we bailed before the group headed out for drinks and an impromptu field trip to a locked and dark Verizon Center. Our plan had been to be responsible and leave Kate the Great's house early on Sunday morning, but when it was suggested that we all meet up for practice early Sunday morning, we threw all thoughts of returning home early out the window. Shockingly not hungover, we motored back over to the rink at the crack of dawn (read: 9:00 in the morning) and were treated to another 4 hours of practice. This time around we got to watch Ovechkin and Kolzig engaging in a battle of trash-talk, shouted obscenities, and taunting dances.

We also sat way up close and personal with the guys, right up on the glass, so that it seemed they were rubbing their bared thighs in our faces all morning (either the Caps are a particularly chicken-legged group of guys or those new Reebok socks don't hold themselves up as well as advertised. It seemed every player, after a few minutes of skating, had his socks drooping down to his knees, and most of the Caps -- Nylander being the most egregious offender -- slash up the inseams of their shorts. It was a thigh-o-rama out there!). We like to think the boys remembered us from the day before, because Semin kept giving us the hairy eyeball and several times slammed his stick against the boards in front of us in what we can only assume was an attempt to get us to shut up. Nice try, Alex, but it'll take a lot more than that to stop our motormouths! We were especially thrilled to get to watch what turned out to be two successive practices, because we got to see our new favorite drill twice. Finally, we spent a few long, sympathetic moments watching the rookies skate suicides, then bid the gang adieu. It was time to sit in traffic for many long hours, before returning to the still hockeyless confines of stately IPB Manor. But worry not, Gentle Reader. We might be hoarse and exhausted, but after this weekend's training-camp immersion, we know that hockey -- even hockey that doesn't include Capitals -- is drawing ever nearer. We're even more excited than ever before, though, after getting to enjoy such a great time with such a great group of friends!

Read More......

The HLOG AIHL convention, where two hockey nerds really wanted their hockey fix

There’s something incomparable to this HLOG meetup. Maybe it was almost like the next step of a relationship, or solidifying the truth of how friendships can be made in such unlikely places. To say in a light sense, this meetup blew a lot of other ones away. Yes, sorry HG, Capschick, Ookies, Steph, Elly & Sherry. (and you guys can claim that the future one will rock harder but… I highly doubt it!) Maybe it was a combination of good booze, good hockey & good times. Or maybe it was how much we had found the love you create for a team, how they don’t have to be a flashy bunch or *cough* party like a rockstar. We genuinely experienced the love for hockey firsthand, and we wouldn’t trade this experience – even if I was that close to not even doing it at all. Lyndelle and Sasky pestered me and for that I thank them. All I can say is, I think I had a grand experience and yes, pistons and engines. Pistons and mutha fucking engines.

(At 1:21) Sasky was very muchly like Mandy Moore the next morning after the booze, I was more like Carla. Whereas Jordan was probably a lot more like Yawney, our friendly Ice player.

(As a quick note: this post uses the snapshot feature. If yours doesn’t preview the pages/photos then your browser/net/you are a whore)

Nonetheless early in the morning, Sasky was gently guided by Patrice Bergeron to the airport, however I think I was kicked out of bed by Roloson and rolled in the general direction of the airport. Along with Lyndelle, we talked about how much we would rock the game. Just a little. And when we hit our motel, nothing would be nicer than to just collapse in a heap and sleep. However the Sydney Bears and Adelaide Avalanche were already knocking so we dragged our asses out to watch them. Complete with Melbourne Ice themed eyeliner glitter, and pom poms to match. I sported a Melbourne Ice pair of nails so I felt the mojo was pretty high up there.

Also, we saw a guy in legendary Dallas third jersey, where Sasky shouted clearly and loudly: “Is that a (M)UTERUS JERSEY!?”

So when the Bears (come on, we weren’t cheering for them because of Adelaide’s issues with the Bluetongues or even because of – ahem – the awesome Finnish goalie) won, we felt ready for the Ice to sweep the North Stars. I felt ready. I even told myself that several times. However it seemed a mistake after another and in my own bitter rage the North Stars emerged better trained and with an offense which beat our own. Our dmen rallied but they folded eventually.

I kept muttering myself “they can tie this up!” and “no way!”. And Sasky told me of how she would eventually hit me if I stop saying that. And I couldn’t cope with it; I couldn’t turn off the game when it was going bad like a TV or a radio feed. I couldn’t look away. And they lost against Ezzy and the rest of the Happy Gang. But my disappointment (especially when I go to get a coke and suddenly they’re down by another one goal) wasn’t too much for the rest of the Ice crowd to swell up at the end, providing a great standing ovation for the team. It’s like a tired old cliché, we have a dump of a rink but we’re such an awesome team in that way.

Nonetheless the games for the Ice ended intensely well (so well that afterwards Sasky suggested that I may be banned from the rink for it). And apart from that, the next finals game was great. Northstars played well, but it seemed that us cheering for the Sydney Bears must’ve helped cause they won baby! And well the night was a fun barbeque. Okay Jordi had drinks. Let’s leave it at that.

Nonetheless it was a great trip, next year I’m more than ready to take the same trip. Watching hockey in the flesh, no matter how famous these people are, was exhilarating. And next year the Ice will win it!

PS. Fuck Zummi Zummi. Right in the ear.

Mighty Ducks 3 Night postponed because of fantasy draft. I have no ideas. YOU GIVE ME IDEAS.

Read More......

HLOG westside!

Ok, so my weekends are starting to fill up, and I am sure that I will need a hockey fix before I go home on the 16th of December. Plus, I'd be stoked to hang out with some of the west-coast HLOG ladies. Preferably a hockey fix somewhere snowy, but if that can't be arranged, I understand. All I know is that it doesn't snow in the Willamette Valley. I know it snows in the Cascades, but I'm not sure where else in this area that it snows...I'm an ignorant upper-midwesterner, it snows everywhere there. Don't laugh. The weekend of the 28th-30th of September is free, possibly the 19th-21st of October(I don't have school in Friday! WHOO, but I might be going to Boston for a regatta.) November looks pretty good at this point, but I'm not sure what the swim meet schedule will look like. The 30th-2nd of November/December might be another option too. Anyone still in? I'm up for any of the sort of near to Salem places (Portland, Seattle, Tri-Cities, Vancouver even).

Read More......

HLOG convention: WESTSIIIIDDEEEE!

Alright, so I might've been a little over-zealous in the title... No fears, I've calmed myself.

Since there are a few PNW'ers in our midst I propose a Convention. It seems the most convienient location (so far) is Portland, OR for a Winterhawks game, however, I'd be more than happy to meet in any of the WHL cities around here (Portland, Tri, Spokane, Seattle, *shudder* Everett or Vancouver, BC). If we chose TRI I could host a HLOG sleepover as I live about a mile from the rink.

Just throwing dates I'll be in PDX for games out there: 9.29, (depending on roads) 12.29, 1.30.08 and 2.8.08

Any ideas, suggestions?

PS - The Churros at the Rose Garden are quite delectible and a tradition when attending games in "Hawk-ey Town"... Brittania, do you know if they sell them at Memorial Coliseum, too?

Read More......

HLOG '07 in Australia!

It seems that the HLOG went back to its roots and decided to have a taste of far away. However because every other HLOGger was so busy they couldn’t even fly on the private jet provided for them free of charge (giving out peace prizes, naming babies, dumb shit like that), it seemed that all this event really needed was its home grown members.

So Jordi braced herself to meet her Bruins nemesis, Sasky more than ready to fight (Jordi not as much). The activity? Previously a Melbourne Ice game, was changed to an intensive lesson in “how to not look like a total retard skating on ice”.


Yes I do know that I currently suffer from a bad case of “won’tgetahaircut-itis”. It has developed a new life of its own and now likes to be referred to as Smyth. Nonetheless we decided to settle a score to see who could skate better. By default I handed over the pennant but she wanted to show me how she felt about the pennant.


Additionally she needed to show how much she kicked my ass over skating.


Alas dear reader, my skating ability is poor; so poor that I spend so much time reading, watching and writing about hockey. Thus is the conundrum in which we should arrange a hockey training camp for our poor similarly unable HLOG members, sponsored by Reebok and maybe Jeremy Roenick.

However 2 hours later and me screaming “I wanna go home!”, it’s been a fun journey. I did at one point scream “My elbow feels like Pronger after a dirty hit!” (though in my pain it was more like “My elbow feels like Pronger stupiddirtyfuck”).

Nonetheless we did encounter a rare celebrity sighting! Considering the rink looked like it was built in the 90s, Colby Armstrong from the 90s was seen skating around in miscellaneous hockey kneepads and doing silly little things around the ice. While Sasky and I muttered about how he should meet the real Colby and maybe get some tips from the future him, we got his mum to take a photo of us two. Additionally, he crept in the photo and his mum shooed him away. We then screamed “NO!” in which he had a look of total shock and fear when we demanded that he get back into our photo so we had proof that we met Colby Armstrong (not the NHL player of course!).

(I like to believe that my weird facial expression is my control on not wanting to hit him.)

All in all, a great HLOG day which proved that Jordi can take a lot of bumps and bruises.

Read More......