Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Epic Fail

I fail at life. Or blogging. Possibly both considering how intermixed the two seem to have become. Now, this is completely against the rules but I am going to go ahead and post it; smite me if you will oh fearless leader.

This is me. I am Charlie Brown and I FAIL.

Anyway, I just looked at the CC (Creative Challenge, not Caps Chick... keep up) for the first time in gah, what month is it?? I thought about doing it... with a twist. As a matter of fact...

Change of plan, sorry, I'm a little ADD right now. I was going to eschew the rules and not post according to the Creative Challenge or the Topic, since I'm such a rebel and all, but now I've decided I am going to do the Challenge.


Tracy: We're here today with Sean Avery who has long been regarded as one of the most hated men in the NHL. Indeed, I myself, can barely stomach being in the same room with him long enough to do this interview --

Sean Avery: Hey!

Tracy: Quiet! As I was saying, barely stomach him long enough to conduct this interview but in the name of good journalism, I am going to try and keep my gag reflex (and indeed, my fists) under control so as not to injure the whiny little schmuck burly hockey player. Let's begin. Sean, how are you today?

SA: I was a lot better before you started insulting me but --

Tracy: Oh deal with it Avery. Is it true that you've recently been suspended for trash-talking an ex-girlfriend?

SA: Yes, but --

Tracy: And is it true that you worked at a girly mag this past summer?

SA: Yes, but --

Tracy: That's kind of lame, don't you think?

SA: Would you shut up for a minute??


SA: What I was trying to say is that working at Vogue got me more tail --

Tracy: Yeah that's great. Let's get to the heart of the situation, shall we?

SA: Uh...?

Tracy: Explain this comment to me, Sean. "I'm really happy to be back in Calgary; I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about, but enjoy the game tonight."

SA: (Chuckling) It is what it is.

Tracy: So you maintain that stance do you? No backtracking?

SA: Look here Miss Lady, I'm Sean Avery. I don't go back on anything I say. Remember the playoffs last year?

Tracy: No.

SA: Oh. ... Well, let me refresh your memory, ok? I was the dude blocking Brodeur with my hands. MY HANDS! I'm that guy! I don't take anything back. That's not how studs roll.

Tracy: ...

SA: You know what I mean?

Tracy: Not really, no. But I do have one last question for you before I choke the life out of you bid you farewell.

SA: Hit me with your best shot.

Tracy: Don't tempt me.

SA: No. I mean, you know what I mean.

Tracy: My last question, Mr. Avery...


Tracy: True or false.

SA: Ok...?

Tracy: The hooker and the little black book?


Cat said...

AHAHAHAHA way to end on a high note, Tracy. :D I love it.

Kerri said...

lol love it!

Wether it's true or not, the hooker story was the funniest thing ever, come on.

LyndseyElizabeth said...

oh my god i almost peed myself, this is hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Appreciate it, appreciate it. :)