Sunday, June 17, 2007

N00b Alert! N00b Alert!

Hello all! My name is Teka and I'm into the big hits and the blood and guts. I guess my biggest claim to hockey fame is my birthday, August 7, which I share with Sidney Crosby. Except that I can drink legally and he can't. (punk kid!)
Without further ado....


1. Where you're from, what you do - basic things.
I am a starving student getting her masters in American Studies. Right now I live in Hershey, PA (WOOO BEARS!) but still consider myself one of those damn dirty Pacific Northwest hippies, as I was raised in Portland, OR and spent my undergrad years in Tacoma, WA.

2. Your team and why you like them.
I'm a Pittsburgh Penguins fan. The first game that my hockey junkie friends sat me down to watch was the Pens v. Sens playoff game in which Colby Armstrong flattened Patrick Eaves. My not so inner roller derby player was SOLD! The Pens seemed to have a sort of on and off ice camaraderie that I didn't see in a lot of the other teams, and I respect that. I've been a lifelong team sport player, and that good team interaction is really what makes the game fun for spectators AND players. The Pens all seem like genuinely nice guys who just happen to play some really badass hockey... see the followup to the Armstrong/Eaves hit in which Armstrong called to make sure Eaves was okay.
It also didn't hurt that I knew I was moving to PA for grad school, and really, between the Pens and the Flyers, there was no contest :-)

3. Your least favourite team and why?
I think the Red Wings are highly overrated. They may be a good team, but to call Detroit "Hockeytown USA" seems a little presumptuous. None of the Wings have jumped out at me as having a specifically winning style of play or a great personality, and honestly, Hasek's "flop around until I catch something!" method of goaltending makes me want to throw the octopi AT HIM.


4. Your favourite player of all time & now?

All time? Although I just got done slamming the Red Wings, I'll have to go with Gordie Howe. (insert Slapshot chorus of "Gordie!" with elbows here.)
Now? Colby Armstrong, for being a goofball but also for going out and making the big hits.
What can I say... I like the rough stuff!

5. If you had to punch one hockey player or member of the NHL organization, who and why?
WHOEVER INVENTED THE SKATE WHORES (Whoops, “Ice Girls”)

And I definitely want to give Sidney Crosby a good big-sisterly noogie once in a while. (like when he starts doing that “Aw shucks, me?” thing.)

6 What you'll be looking forward in this group blog.
Being able to scream “DID YOU SEE THAT HIT!?!” without people thinking I’m deranged. (or the biggest butchest lesbian EVAR.)


7. What you don't like in general?

closed minded people, wet grass with sandals,, ditzy girls, guys who have to be macho, hot glue blisters, canker sores, waiting for things, inexplicable pains, people who don't understand, people who argue even when you've won, rappers, white ghetto kids, hicks, people who own huge trucks for the sole purpose of owning huge trucks, indecision, quarter-life crises, puffy crying eyes, allergies, tonsils, boy B.O, pushy vegans, nonfunctional pens, ill-timed rain, migraines, weight gain, that slithery sweaty feeling, sexism, uncertainty, boring jobs, overly girly girls, biblethumpers, completely helpless people, the greek system and angry drunks.

8. What role do female fans play in keeping the game alive?
Female fans are more tenuous and scrappy about supporting their team. We’re not going to pick up and migrate to a new favorite just because a team’s having an off year, we’re going to grimace and cheer louder. I think women are also less willing to let a team lose, so they’ll be out there until the bitter end giving their side as much energy as possible.

9. What role do female fans play in picking heroes for the community?
I have to echo other people’s answer to this one, in that women look at a more rounded view of the sportsman… we’re going to care if he’s had 18 DUI’s and kicks puppies even if he is the highest scorer from here to Pluto, and that’s going to affect our opinion of him. And then, of course, we’re going to tell other people our opinion, and so on and so on and so on…

10. Hockey just isn't the same without....
Awful arena music!

11. If you were on a deserted island, which player would you pick to stay with you?
Jordin Tootoo. I haven’t followed him as closely as I’d have liked, but I do know he’s managed to rack up a Gordie Howe Hat Trick, so he’s my kinda player. He also seems l like a good natured kid who’d have a lot of amusing “This one time...” stories to tell.

12. Crosby, Ovechkin or Phaneuf (hey he tried!)?
Oh, damn… I suppose I’ll have to take Crosby, but only if he doesn’t freakin’ whine. Ovechkin’s fashion sense makes me want to gouge my own eyes out, and Phaneuf just doesn’t have that spark.


13. The player you'd like to take for a grand night out/a movie/a boring event

Heh. Three Penguins:
Grand night out: Ryan Malone, because he cleans up nice and knows how to mind his Ps and Qs, but won’t be boringly appropriate all night (like Crosby might…)
Movie: Jordan Staal, who would make it his own MST3K and throw popcorn at the love scenes.
Boring Event: Colby Armstrong, because he’d find SOME way to make it at least palatably amusing.

14. If you could make your own team, regardless of whatever players, what would it be called and where will it be/how would it be like?
In Tacoma (or even Seattle) WA, the Longshoremen would play wearing navy blue, gold and white and in Portland OR, (City of Roses) the Thorns would play in maroon, white and silver. And of course, they’d both muck it up in the corners, because chicks dig bruises.

21 comments:

Interchangeable Parts said...

Hey, I guess IPB wins the prize for being the first to say "welcome to HLOG!" We also love Colby Armstrong, thanks to "Inside Penguins Hockey".

Isleschick said...

The guy who invented the ice girls would be from my team, sorry about that. :(

Heather B. said...

Welcome! Always good to have some noobies. Heh heh :-)

I watched Hasek's flopping around style of goaltending for years and I still don't understand how it works so well. It seems absurd.

Tracy said...

Hey! (I said that in a thoroughly sing-song voice, just so you know.) Um, just want to welcome you to the club and say happy posting. :)

Jordi said...

How the hell does Hasek stop those damn pucks that way? I better shut up or else Steph will hurt me.

Welcome, it's great to see you around.

Bethany said...

Hey! Welcome to HLOG. Can we talk about this Tootoo thing? PLEASE!!!

kristin said...

I didn't know people actually lived in Hershey...I thought it was just a place to go to watch the Bears play the Phantoms!

And you really should rethink the Penguins thing...the Flyers are a lot closer and I get great seats! You can watch big hits and blood and guts up close!

Britannia said...

I suppose I could take bribery in form of tickets to see a game and re-make my mind :-)

kristin said...

ha...if you're nice I'll see if we can go to a Pens game...but I will make you wear a Flyers jersey!!

Britannia said...

Can I wear the Flyers jersey and still cheer for the Pens? Or is that in violation of the Bribery Agreement (tm)?

kristin said...

you can cheer for the pens, but you will pretty much be taking your life into your hands.

maybe you can test the waters cheering for the bears at a phantoms game first. I have a phantoms jersey you can wear too!

Britannia said...

Man, i've already been told that I'm risking my neck liking the Bears if I'm a *real* Pens fan.. there's that whole pesky Caps farm-team issue with that one...

they're just so... local!

KMS2 said...

Can we talk about this Tootoo thing? PLEASE!!!

Bethany, I'm right there with you! I can't stand the guy!! You had me until you mentioned the Greek system and Tootoo. But otherwise, welcome and happy posting!

Britannia said...

Tootoo was sort of a whim choice anyway... i figured I couldn't keep saying "colby armstrong" or there'd be hell to pay in puckbunnyland.

And to elucidate, I have nothing against specific greek members, but the system as a whole chewed up and spit out a couple of my good friends, so I've got rather a chip on my shoulder still!

Objectionable Conduct said...

Haha. Army. I once thought he was the only redeeming member of his family. Now I'm not quite so sure...

Heather B. said...

Down with the greek system! :-)

Steph said...

JORDI. I CAN HEAR YOU!

Anyway, I just don't think we can be friends, with this Wings hatred you seem to have...lack of personality, bah! Don't get me started!

(I'm just kidding - welcome and nice to meet you, I swear!)

Shmee said...

I am very jealous that you live in Hershey...the Bears have a great following and arena.

Welcome!

McPhizzle said...

Welcome!!!

Gotta love us granola eating PNW'ers! (even us 'greek's from TRI, right?) ;o)

Britannia said...

Hey... I was born in Richland! (Insert obnoxious repetitions of "It's A Small World" here.)

The Wanderer said...

Hey! Woo hoo for another Pens fan. I am a HLOG groupie and comment every once and a bit. Welcome : ) Kat