Finding Loopholes: Making Rules on the Fly

I don't know how to frame this without going on about what a drama queen Marty Brodeur is, how slanted the reffing has been, and, and... okay - instead, I'll recommend the following.

watch this first...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ec_2oKWe2Gw

...and then read this:

http://rangers.lohudblogs.com/2008/04/14/the-avery-rule/

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The good, the bad and the funny of hockey insults

I have found that hockey fighting usually results in some of the best insults and most creative curses I have ever heard. Its pretty impressive. I had a buddy who played hockey in college, and some of curses he told me were leveled at him were impressive in their ingenuity. They questioned the typical (his lineage, his mother's marital state when he was conceived, etc) and then the not so typical (he told me a guy on the ice once quoted Shakespeare's famous "Oh Romeo, oh Romeo" couplet to him).

But I have found the best is when hockey players try to insult each other in the media. Its meant to be harsh and mean, but mostly its just... funny. Example 1 - Derek Boogaard on the growing Wild/Canucks rivalry, their fight filled last game, and the upcoming Wild-Canucks game:

"Maybe I can go after, or check Naslund and those Pinky and the Brain twins,'' Boogaard said.

Hmm. First, I am not a fan of "putting people on notice". Too many Bertuzzi memories. I think its dumb and dangerous and Coaches should strongly discourage it.

But "Pinky and the Brain twins"? Somehow, I doubt the Sedin twins are wincing, or even slightly grimacing. Thats all that Derek Boogaard, one of the most feared enforcers in the NHL, can come up with? The HLOG'ers (feared enforcers themselves) came up with better when we spotted a Sedin look-a-like at Capitals practice.

I have to believe that hockey players (feared, tough men) could do better, so I researched the source of the most hockey insults in the world: Sean Avery. Here is what he had to say after insulting Gary Roberts into a penalty:

An expert on the subject, Avery was asked if it surprised him to be able to so quickly get under the skin of a player as experienced as the 41-year-old Roberts.

"It's probably easier," Avery said, scratching his beard with fingernails painted with black polish. "Young guys are a little dumb. They don't know what's going on half the time.

"A guy like that takes it as a little bit of an insult. How dare you disrespect them and all they've done for the game and how great they are?"

What I wouldnt give to know exactly what Avery said to Roberts to get a rise out of that veteran. I sincerely hope it was a little more then Nickolodean referenced insults, although I do see a startling resemblance between Hannah Montana and Roberts (died blonde hair).

To be honest, I kind of hope that hockey players dont get very good at insulting each other in the media because I cant help but laugh as I watch Derek Boogaard be capable of this, and then come up with Pinky and the Brain.

So....whats the good, bad or funniest hockey insult you have heard? Lets hear it in the comments.

NOTE: Since I actually have time to blog today, I am throwing up posts all over the place:)

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