Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The good, the bad and the funny of hockey insults

I have found that hockey fighting usually results in some of the best insults and most creative curses I have ever heard. Its pretty impressive. I had a buddy who played hockey in college, and some of curses he told me were leveled at him were impressive in their ingenuity. They questioned the typical (his lineage, his mother's marital state when he was conceived, etc) and then the not so typical (he told me a guy on the ice once quoted Shakespeare's famous "Oh Romeo, oh Romeo" couplet to him).

But I have found the best is when hockey players try to insult each other in the media. Its meant to be harsh and mean, but mostly its just... funny. Example 1 - Derek Boogaard on the growing Wild/Canucks rivalry, their fight filled last game, and the upcoming Wild-Canucks game:

"Maybe I can go after, or check Naslund and those Pinky and the Brain twins,'' Boogaard said.
Hmm. First, I am not a fan of "putting people on notice". Too many Bertuzzi memories. I think its dumb and dangerous and Coaches should strongly discourage it.

But "Pinky and the Brain twins"? Somehow, I doubt the Sedin twins are wincing, or even slightly grimacing. Thats all that Derek Boogaard, one of the most feared enforcers in the NHL, can come up with? The HLOG'ers (feared enforcers themselves) came up with better when we spotted a Sedin look-a-like at Capitals practice.

I have to believe that hockey players (feared, tough men) could do better, so I researched the source of the most hockey insults in the world: Sean Avery. Here is what he had to say after insulting Gary Roberts into a penalty:
An expert on the subject, Avery was asked if it surprised him to be able to so quickly get under the skin of a player as experienced as the 41-year-old Roberts.

"It's probably easier," Avery said, scratching his beard with fingernails painted with black polish. "Young guys are a little dumb. They don't know what's going on half the time.

"A guy like that takes it as a little bit of an insult. How dare you disrespect them and all they've done for the game and how great they are?"

What I wouldnt give to know exactly what Avery said to Roberts to get a rise out of that veteran. I sincerely hope it was a little more then Nickolodean referenced insults, although I do see a startling resemblance between Hannah Montana and Roberts (died blonde hair).

To be honest, I kind of hope that hockey players dont get very good at insulting each other in the media because I cant help but laugh as I watch Derek Boogaard be capable of this, and then come up with Pinky and the Brain.

So....whats the good, bad or funniest hockey insult you have heard? Lets hear it in the comments.

NOTE: Since I actually have time to blog today, I am throwing up posts all over the place:)


Shmee said...

I should start this out by giving one...the Caps played the Panthers on Monday night, and a guy in my section kept calling Thomas Vokoun..."vodka". That was pretty bad. I dont know if the guy was just drunk, illiterate, or a really bad insulter.

Anonymous said...

The guys in the section I'm normally in at Bear games have been making Kip Brennan steroid references left and right... "That's the best you can do, Brennan? Well, you did look smaller when you walked in today!"
They were also asking Drew Fata to take his slumber party and go home at one point, and poor Blake Comeau.

Poor, poor Blake Comeau. They wouldn't let it go.

(hint, say "Comeau" out loud and then think like an insulting male hockey heckler.)

(Also, Caps Chick tells me that the most in-efficient Beagle heckling she's ever heard was a guy simply yelling "HIT THE BEAGLE." At least call him Snoopy, you moron! There's so much that name will let you do!)

Shmee said...

Ha! Hilarious...and since I am hoping to make it to the game on Sat, I want to see some of that in action.

Anonymous said...

Go sit somewhere in 121... that's where all the good hecklers are. I'll be up in the pressbox, unable to yell at ANYONE. Grrr!

Rinslet said...


Got to thank Boogard though. Pinky and the Brain sounds better than the Sedin Sisters, and I think the Twins like it too.

Henrik already declared he is The Brain, while Daniel agrees that Henrik can be the brain since he has such a large head. LOL!

And last night, Tom and Shorty were calling them Pinky and the Brain, too (Nazzy with assists from Pinky and the Brain!) haha

Thanks boogie!

Kerriberry7228 said...

I lovvvve trash talk.

Avery likes to harass the Devils.

I'm partial to hearing Avery call Brodeur a whiner. "Marty is a whiner, he'll always be a whiner." Avery apparently can't hear what Brodeur is saying to him on the ice, either. "He's accent's too thick. I can't understand him."

Clarkson is a "boader-line minor league at best."

Parise who? "I asked him to fight a couple of times," Avery admitted. When an incredulous reporter questioned that he would challenge Parise, who has never had an NHL fight, Avery replied, "Is that his name?"

When Ted Nolan said the Islanders weren't going to focus on Avery but on the Ranger's 'real players,' Avery said "So? He had 5 years to sit at home and think about things to say about players."

He told Laraque "you can't handle me."

He's wonderful.

Some people don't think so though.

"He's pissing guys off," Belak told The Sun. "He'll bring harm to himself and not too many guys around the league are going to be sad to see it. If he keeps this up, someone is going to kill him. One day he's going to say something the wrong way and he'll be clubbed."

Jagr doesn't trash talk though. As he told reporters, it's because he "doesn't speak english."

lol lol lol

I'll shut up now.