Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Hariest Post Ever

Ahh, playoff traditions. College teams go blonde, the Bears have their mohawks (hopefully to be unveiled tomorrow night,) the Caps grow their beards (and Mike Green rocks the 'hawk), and hair insanity overtakes the hockey leagues of the world. The playoff beard phenomenon has its own entry on Wikipedia; the Caps are encouraging it with their Beardathon, in short, the playoff beard is overtaking the D.C. area quickly.

But wait, I said. BUT WAIT.

For those of you who haven't yet picked up on this, I'm ridiculously female. Sadly, all I've managed to grow on my chin thus far is a bumper crop of pimples (and don't ask me where those came from, I'm not amused either.) No matter how much time I spend gritting my teeth and trying to pop out that magnificent handlebar mustache I've always wanted, I just don't seem to be getting past the Nicklas Backstrom Blonde Peach Fuzz stage.

The Caps' Club Scarlet has been little to no help in the female beard growing efforts, staying mostly silent on this horrible peach fuzz pandemic sweeping through 50% of Caps Nation..... so what, oh what's a girl to do?

My solution? Freakin' grow it somewhere else.

I had three choices as I saw them, and only two were fit for a mostly family-friendly blog. (although there was some discussion of rockin' the hawk in an uh... southern.... manner.) But anyway, I saw two options.

Sadly, after living with myself for 23 years, I knew that my legs would never get past the patchy-lost-razor stage of Sidney Crosbyitis. With no Italian or Spanish influence in my background, the blondeish-brownish Irish/German leg hair gene was going to leave me in the lurch.

"Allright then, self," I said to myself. "Armpits it is."

So here, in all its glory, I give you the initial photo of Playoff Pits '09. I haven't touched a razor since the Bears home closer, so this is almost a week and a half's worth of growth: 4/12-4/21.


(Also please to be keeping in mind how hard it is to take pictures of your own armpits.)

Ryan Whitney I'm not, but I'm hoping to give Boyd Gordon a run for his money eventually.

Any other ladies out there in on this? We too, can turn into yetis for our team... just... less visibly!

(x-posted to Talk Hockey To Me as well


twunty mcslore said...

I've decided to go out on a limb and grow out the hair on my head.
Okay, yeah, it's halfway down my back already but if the Pens win it all I'll cut half of it off and donate it to locks of love. Trust.
Love your blog, by the way. I don't know too many girls who love hockey so you all are awesome.

Sharon said...

Ok this may be taking hockey fandom just a little toooo far. But I admire your dedication. LOL

I refuse to go out body hair so I have to come up with something else. I just broke up with my boyfriend so maybe I'll go celibate and if one of my playoff teams wins I'll have a celebratory love fest :)

Tracy said...

Love your enthusiasm... but my inner hippie cannot be allowed to take over that much. I can't do hair. Haha.

Lucky for me, my team hasn't made the playoffs... and may never have the chance now.