Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Margee's Keys to Islander Good Luck

Being an Isles fan, I don't believe in luck. Unless its bad. Which is why I use the Ryan Smyth player tee-shirt I purchased last year was employed in the cleaning of my toilet this afternoon. But here is how I fantasize my hand in helping the Islanders to the Magical Valley of Good Luck.

Beverage: Amstel Light
I am of the belief that no liquid should be consumed if it does not contain alcohol or caffeine. My alcoholic beverage of choice is always, whenever possible, Amstel Light. I'd brush my teeth with it if the bubbles didn't bother my fillings so much. Since I'm always drinking Amstel Light, the Isles tend to win when I have one in hand.

Meal: Napkin from Cosi
Don't judge me. I'm not one of those people who eats drywall and styrofoam cups to cut carbs or whatever. I love carbs! I eat them all the time. This started a the end of last season. I was working on a poker show at an edit house, where life was only interrupted for hockey games and take-out. And if I planned it just right, I could get the two to coincide. One night while enjoying a rather bland salad from Cosi, I shoved my napkin in my mouth to stifle the scream about to burst forth following a Trent Hunter goal. I spent most of the game chewing absently on the napkin to muffle my excitement, lest anyone remember my presence, wander into my area, and bother me to work. Knowing the power I held between my teeth, I kept a supply of Cosi napkins handy for the rest of the season. Including spending Easter ignoring my tofu lasagna to munch on recycled paper while I watched the Isles face the Devils in a shootout. And what happened at the end of the Islanders season, huh?

Clothing: J. Crew Vintage Thermal
This is a new development. My Youth Small Miroslav Satan player-tee has been washed too many times and is officially too small. You know how 99% of Britney Spears's clothes fit? That's how it fits me. But I gave it a good shot on opening night for the Isles this year, including trudging through the Upper East Side and braving the 6 wearing it. I didn't get jumped. But nerves got the better of me and I sweat an eddy through the damn thing. When I got to work, I had to change or risk alienating fellow employees with my rancid form. Knowing I was due at the game that night, I ran into the J. Crew in my building and grabbed the first navy blue top I saw, the vintage thermal. The Isles won that night, as they have every night I've worn that top since.

Hair: Ponytail
My hair is extremely distracting. It's big and curly and many different colors. I don't the Islanders for getting distracted by it even when I watch the game from home. That's how big my hair is. You can see it Uniondale, even when I'm looking out on the East River. The ponytail must be high, never low. Because the Isles still need to be able to see some of my calico mane, just so they know I'm there.

Good Luck Charm: Pack of UNO cards
Disregarding Scattergories, Trivial Pursuit, and Flip Cup, UNO is, quite obviously, the greatest game on Planet Earth. I try never to be without UNO cards in any given situation, because you never know when you are going to need them. And make no mistake, you will need them. So I always have a pack of UNO cards with me. Are they lucky? Do they really contribute to an Isles win? I don't know. And I don't care to find out.


McPhizzle said...

The hair is a huge distraction... I've learned that I have to keep my mane in check as to not take all focus off the ice - I mean, really, isn't our ample sweatermeat enough?

Kirsten said...

I agree. UNO is a great game.

Ellie said...

ditto on the hair - although mine isn't long enough to pull back. Last game I was at I sported a head band.

I never thought of UNO cards but hey why not?