Friday, October 19, 2007

Jordi hates the Habs - in a different way.

I’m copying this from my blog to the HLOG. Lazy? Yes. But am I the admin? Yes.

Jordi knows she’s been busy – it’s the NHL’s fault for their unfortunate schedule problems. Nonetheless the Habs are a bunch of freaking pornstars, you get the blowing and the sucking and the climax ends with a bit of dodgy music and a cheap whore at the door.

Anyway yes, I’m trying my hardest to use Habs every day. For example recently, this conversation took place:

Friend: What’s the matter? The Habs lose? The Oilers suck?
Jordi: Nah I forgot to enrol to vote. But yes that too.

However it’s hard for me to tell me about games that I’m having so much fucking trouble listening to. And all I can say is – blame the Mac. The thing which Windows XP crapped out on and all that the Mac does is act as a wankstain on my lap. But the Mac’s alright, it’s just that hockey hates me.

Such as ruining my luck with people I meet who may potentially be “My new hockey friend”.

It always started with me checking up on my dear habs at, where my friend exclaimed, “dude it’s CANADIANS. With an A”. I told her not to worry and was enjoying myself and she started bugging me some more “Why is it with an E? Oh my god, have I been spelling it wrong all the time?”. Now let me introduce “guy sitting next to us on the other computer”, let’s call him Exhibit A. He leant over and informed my friend “It’s French, the Montreal Canadiens”. And with a cute accent that would make every girl take their pants off – up until they saw his face. But who cared, he could’ve been a Habs fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately that day I wasn’t in the right state of mind. As my friend inquired with Exhibit A “So you speak French?” he replied with “Oui (insert random French onhohoho) French Toast”. And at that point I thought it would be funny to tease him and go “You’re so sexy.”

Queue awkward silence.

Queue me explaining it was a joke from a hit TV show named Friends (In my defense it WAS. And if you were any of my friends you would know I joke about it ALL the time).

Queue me burying my foot into my mouth.

And that was boys and girls, how I single-handedly destroy every chance of hockey socialising. I still haven’t gone up and karate-chopped the friend-of-a-friend who turns out is a Canucks fan so my chances are still good.


Lucky13 said...

That was great - thanks for the Friday morning laugh. I needed it considering I find out this afternoon if I have a job.

Shan said...

You're so sexy, Jordi.

Yeah, the game last night was torture to listen to. I figure with the radio/online delay, if the Sens score 30 seconds after the Habs, that probably means I'm celebrating the tie-game meanwhile in reality the Senators have scored the game-winning goal. How lame is that?

In other news, I like Kovalev, but I really would be pleased if he got traded for Tanguay. I doubt those rumours will prove true though. I'm not even as bothered as I should be by his Carbonneau critique, but unless he is going to lead a decent example for the youth on and off the ice, he's more harm than he is help. Kovy obviously has talent, but I'm not convinced that his underperformance is just a matter of effort, I think he's just not an impact player today.

Tracy said...

Jordi, I absolutely love you more for that than for keeping me entertained during the massacre that was my game last night.

Jordi said...

Hehe thanks guys, I love trying to keep people happy short of taking my clothes off. (which would make people sad).

I think Kovalev's influence has been waning, amidst the bad PR and play he could be better. With that said, the Habs org has been developing their own core names for their franchise, Kovalev is probably not one of them. If he were traded now, I wouldn't be surprised but I would be a little anxious on what will happen next.

And the problem with the Habs losing isn't that they're losing per se, it's that everyone else is winning still. And I hate the Sens so much I really do want to feed them through a woodchipper.