Thursday, August 02, 2007

The Boredom Continues

I keep saying to myself "You've only got 6 minutes left in this game,(Pens v. Canes, 10/14/06) just FINISH IT" and then finding something else that distracts me into pausing it. (And don't get me started on how the Google Video copy of it skips right from Army laying the hurt on Letowski at 11:20 in the first to the beginning of the second period.) First it was dropped stitches in this damned sock, and now it's this concept:

I get why women are never NHL coaches, because they haven't played in the NHL (and therefore have no idea what they're doing. Crap, but whatever. I understand the flawed logic, AND can give you a way to fix that, but I digress.) How come all hockey ANNOUNCERS are male? Granted, some of them are hired as past NHL players to do commentary, but for every one of those, there's another dude who's employed by the network just to jabber on aimlessly and rattle off numbers as fast as he can. Would it be that shocking to hear a female voice doing that? I mean, if the guys can say stuff about JStaal's "shifty hips" I don't think anything a female says could be taken much wronger in OR out of context.

Also, just call it a groin pull. Enough of this "lower body injury" stuff. If you pulled something near your manly bits, you pulled something near your manly bits. We all know you have them, so just talk about them like you're not ashamed. (Is that a first, a dude not wanting to talk about his johnson? I think it might be...)

(Also posted at Rink Rash)

10 comments:

Meg said...

Granted, some of them are hired as past NHL players to do commentary, but for every one of those, there's another dude who's employed by the network just to jabber on aimlessly and rattle off numbers as fast as he can. Would it be that shocking to hear a female voice doing that? I mean, if the guys can say stuff about JStaal's "shifty hips" I don't think anything a female says could be taken much wronger in OR out of context.

I was just thinking about this the other day! I imagine it has something to do with the fit certain segments of the hockey-watching audience would pitch, but I also think that you need to have women doing play-by-play and color commentary at a lower level before you can get it at the NHL level. But I don't see that happening any time soon. Which really is a shame.

KMS2 said...

My problem with female announcers is that most women have voices that sound very annoying: very high-pitched, screechy, nasal voices. I like Chris Simpson's voice and another lady on FSN (Christine something) but have you heard Laura (or Linda) Cohn on ESPN doing the sports broadcast? I happened upon the show one time and my ears hurt just listening to her. Ahhhh, they hurt just thinking about it!

Dear Lord Stanley said...

It's true that we men are usually very happy to share with you any and all information you'd like to know about our "manly bits." (I prefer "equipment" over "bits", but whatever.) But once something in that region stops working correctly, say, a groin muscle, it is no longer subject to discussion. We're sensitive like that.

Interchangeable Parts said...

The Devils had a female announcer, once upon a time. It was before we started watching, so we can't vouch for how well it went.

Leanne said...

Cassie Campbell (who is a legend in Canadian womens' hockey) seems to be making a slow entry into broadcasting via the CBC. She'll very likely do quite well, based on what I've seen, as well as heard on radio broadcasts.

As for the "upper/lower" body injury? Yeah, it bugs me too, but I understand why they do it...I don't think it's because they're shy. It's simply too big a risk to the player if you put them on the ice, and everybody knows they have a bum knee/ankle/toe/hip/groin.

All the guys on the other team will make sure you get a bump/slash/crunch directed at that body part, and probably put you out for weeks/months instead of days/weeks...

Hockey_Princess said...

Cassie Campbell actually called a game on October 14, 2006...."Veteran colour commentator Harry Neale was snowed in in Buffalo and Campbell replaced him in the broacast booth beside Bob Cole for a Toronto-Calgary game. No woman -player, or otherwise- has ever pulled off this feat. In the process, Campbell became a pioneer: a woman sports star doing commentary on her male counterparts. A girl talking about guys playing hockey." quoted from Chatelaine June 2007 (and yes I only bought it cuz of the hockey article lol)

Jordi said...

Here's the thing that bugs me about the female coaching argument - playing in the NHL makes you a qualified coach? Oh no, we better start ringing up some embarrassed people.

Female announcers are doable, we're no longer talking about a time where men and woman sat in seperate groups lest they all take their clothes off and do strange funny things. A woman has every right to be in the locker room if she's doing her job. She doesn't want to see the bits, she won't care about the bits.

Leanne said...

D'oh! Being a Calgary fan living in Toronto, you think I'd remember Cassie did do colour that game. I'll blame it on the distraction of the massive family reunion and the six relatives who were crashing with me at the time...

Good catch.

She's got a fantastic understanding of the game. With the impeding taking-out-to-pasture-and-shooting of Bob Cole and Harry Neale, you'd have to think she'll get more chances...

I think women announcers have as good a chance as anybody to get the gig. Problem is finding a free spot. I mentioned Harry and Bob already, who've been around forever... on the radio side, for the Flames, as another example, Peter Maher has called all but five minutes of every Calgary Flames hockey game. Ever. So patience, my girls... the time will come.

(The five minutes were last season, because he had to be rinkside so the team could honour him for his induction to the broadcasters' chunk of the Hockey Hall of Fame. I guess we can let that go.)

Tracy said...

Here's the thing that bugs me about the female coaching argument - playing in the NHL makes you a qualified coach? Oh no, we better start ringing up some embarrassed people.

I get the feeling that was a major jab at the Coyotes... ;P

Shmee said...

It just amuses me when I hear "lower body injury". I assume its a penis malfunction.