N00b Alert! N00b Alert!

Hello all! My name is Teka and I'm into the big hits and the blood and guts. I guess my biggest claim to hockey fame is my birthday, August 7, which I share with Sidney Crosby. Except that I can drink legally and he can't. (punk kid!)
Without further ado....


1. Where you're from, what you do - basic things.
I am a starving student getting her masters in American Studies. Right now I live in Hershey, PA (WOOO BEARS!) but still consider myself one of those damn dirty Pacific Northwest hippies, as I was raised in Portland, OR and spent my undergrad years in Tacoma, WA.

2. Your team and why you like them.
I'm a Pittsburgh Penguins fan. The first game that my hockey junkie friends sat me down to watch was the Pens v. Sens playoff game in which Colby Armstrong flattened Patrick Eaves. My not so inner roller derby player was SOLD! The Pens seemed to have a sort of on and off ice camaraderie that I didn't see in a lot of the other teams, and I respect that. I've been a lifelong team sport player, and that good team interaction is really what makes the game fun for spectators AND players. The Pens all seem like genuinely nice guys who just happen to play some really badass hockey... see the followup to the Armstrong/Eaves hit in which Armstrong called to make sure Eaves was okay.
It also didn't hurt that I knew I was moving to PA for grad school, and really, between the Pens and the Flyers, there was no contest :-)

3. Your least favourite team and why?
I think the Red Wings are highly overrated. They may be a good team, but to call Detroit "Hockeytown USA" seems a little presumptuous. None of the Wings have jumped out at me as having a specifically winning style of play or a great personality, and honestly, Hasek's "flop around until I catch something!" method of goaltending makes me want to throw the octopi AT HIM.


4. Your favourite player of all time & now?
All time? Although I just got done slamming the Red Wings, I'll have to go with Gordie Howe. (insert Slapshot chorus of "Gordie!" with elbows here.)
Now? Colby Armstrong, for being a goofball but also for going out and making the big hits.
What can I say... I like the rough stuff!

5. If you had to punch one hockey player or member of the NHL organization, who and why?
WHOEVER INVENTED THE SKATE WHORES (Whoops, “Ice Girls”)

And I definitely want to give Sidney Crosby a good big-sisterly noogie once in a while. (like when he starts doing that “Aw shucks, me?” thing.)

6 What you'll be looking forward in this group blog.
Being able to scream “DID YOU SEE THAT HIT!?!” without people thinking I’m deranged. (or the biggest butchest lesbian EVAR.)


7. What you don't like in general?
closed minded people, wet grass with sandals,, ditzy girls, guys who have to be macho, hot glue blisters, canker sores, waiting for things, inexplicable pains, people who don't understand, people who argue even when you've won, rappers, white ghetto kids, hicks, people who own huge trucks for the sole purpose of owning huge trucks, indecision, quarter-life crises, puffy crying eyes, allergies, tonsils, boy B.O, pushy vegans, nonfunctional pens, ill-timed rain, migraines, weight gain, that slithery sweaty feeling, sexism, uncertainty, boring jobs, overly girly girls, biblethumpers, completely helpless people, the greek system and angry drunks.

8. What role do female fans play in keeping the game alive?
Female fans are more tenuous and scrappy about supporting their team. We’re not going to pick up and migrate to a new favorite just because a team’s having an off year, we’re going to grimace and cheer louder. I think women are also less willing to let a team lose, so they’ll be out there until the bitter end giving their side as much energy as possible.

9. What role do female fans play in picking heroes for the community?
I have to echo other people’s answer to this one, in that women look at a more rounded view of the sportsman… we’re going to care if he’s had 18 DUI’s and kicks puppies even if he is the highest scorer from here to Pluto, and that’s going to affect our opinion of him. And then, of course, we’re going to tell other people our opinion, and so on and so on and so on…

10. Hockey just isn't the same without....
Awful arena music!

11. If you were on a deserted island, which player would you pick to stay with you?
Jordin Tootoo. I haven’t followed him as closely as I’d have liked, but I do know he’s managed to rack up a Gordie Howe Hat Trick, so he’s my kinda player. He also seems l like a good natured kid who’d have a lot of amusing “This one time...” stories to tell.

12. Crosby, Ovechkin or Phaneuf (hey he tried!)?
Oh, damn… I suppose I’ll have to take Crosby, but only if he doesn’t freakin’ whine. Ovechkin’s fashion sense makes me want to gouge my own eyes out, and Phaneuf just doesn’t have that spark.


13. The player you'd like to take for a grand night out/a movie/a boring event
Heh. Three Penguins:
Grand night out: Ryan Malone, because he cleans up nice and knows how to mind his Ps and Qs, but won’t be boringly appropriate all night (like Crosby might…)
Movie: Jordan Staal, who would make it his own MST3K and throw popcorn at the love scenes.
Boring Event: Colby Armstrong, because he’d find SOME way to make it at least palatably amusing.

14. If you could make your own team, regardless of whatever players, what would it be called and where will it be/how would it be like?
In Tacoma (or even Seattle) WA, the Longshoremen would play wearing navy blue, gold and white and in Portland OR, (City of Roses) the Thorns would play in maroon, white and silver. And of course, they’d both muck it up in the corners, because chicks dig bruises.