Buenos Dias! I have answers!

I'm a lazy person, plus I talk too much.

1. Five songs which described your pain and emotion throughout the last season!
   I know it's sad that I'm already having trouble doing this question but it starts with Summer Loving from Grease, "Tell me more! Tell me more! Did she put up a fight!?" (No actually, the bitch Habs rolled over and said oh Leafs please beat us. We like to see the look on your face when the Islanders snatch it from under your nose).
   
   Second on the list would be The Jet Song from West Side Story. I think it communicated the emotional weight of being a Hab/Jet very well. Well, not including Winnipeg.
   
   Third is On My Own from Les Miserables. Because the Habs is like that rat bastard who doesn't love me and I am the not-hooker who has a tragic French death.
   
   
   The fourth is that song in the Wizard of Oz where the scarecrow is all "if I only had a brain" and Ryder goes "for sure Sheldon, you really need one before you sign onto another team and they realise you didn't come with a warranty".
   
   And lastly is a generic Nikelback song. So generic.
   
   
2. How are you getting your hockey fix?
   Plenty of reading, looking at sites and as well I decided to knit my very own Oilers scarf. It looks like someone threw up on a blue scarf but it's got its charm. I've already read all the important hockey books of course.
   
   
3. Your owner decides that your team will relocate, however one player will be voted to stay to head a new expansion team to replace yours. Who will you pick?
   I know I'll get pelted for this but my love/hate relationship with Gui would have to end then. He's the Montreal hero, moreso than Koivu. He's young with plenty of years ahead of him and the girls throw their silk panties at him. Apart from that he's a damn good hitter and it's not hockey unless our struggling team gets on ESPN for goonery.
   
   
4. Name a hockey item you bought/received that you wish you could refund.
   I have Oilers earrings... But I don't want the refund! I love them! I guess it would have to be the Sammy shirt. Poor ol' Sammy was the apple of my eye, I just blacked out and my hands were covered with blood and this shirt I wore... Oh the people I killed, the things I did.
   
   
5. What's the last book/movie you read/saw? Was it good?
   I'm uh right now reading Faithful, the BoSox 2004 book written by Stewart O'Nan and Stephen King. I know it's sad and uh, I barely follow the MLB but Stephen King has this great way with words (he has complete and utter glee in hating the Yankees, it's beautiful) and I wouldn'tve borrowed it if his name wasn't on it. Unfortunately there is no killer Cujo or Carrie or Misery waiting in the bushes to hurt unsuspecting Yankees.
   
   I did already read The Code and did encounter the same problems with the narrative, I was very underwhelmed walking away from it.
   
   Apart from that Supernatural is a great TV show and Stranger Than Fiction was eh... kinda good.
   
   
6. The last fan you saw who made you go grr? (any sport)
   There's this Avs fan who comes in at where I work wearing the same Avs jumper. He always buys small things like a stamp or two (I am a post office worker, no mail sorting, just plain stone cold being a bitch). He as well always asks for change for his 50 dollar note. He buys nothing, he doesn't want to. But he wants two twenties and a ten. I WILL FUCKING THROW THAT FIFTY BACK AT HIM NEXT TIME. It's what I say always but I never do.
   
   Fucken Avs.
   
   
7. Desert island movies (5?). Name them.
   Oooooh boy, Princess Bride (Hello my name is Inigo Montoya!), Dogma, Anchorman (it'll drive me crazy but I'll still recite the lines), The Departed (DUDES SHOOTING) and I know this is more of a guilty pleasure but Constantine. It has a) Keanu Reeves, b) Tilda Swinton and DUDES SHOOTING.
   
   
8. You just hit the player you hated the most with a car! Do you stop and help them? Or move on and claim he barely touched you?
   I know I was the one who wrote this but I'd have to have a heart and help the dude. Even Pronger. Though I'd make him suffer.
   
   
9. Baseball is on, who would you root for - even if you don't follow the game?
   I can't root for teams yet, I'm not that good at this. I used to play it in high school (I was the kid in the right outfield who often walked away and came back to see that nothing happened 20 minutes later). I will however sell my vote for your team. Call me a fan of your team if you want.
   
   
10. Speaking of baseball, what hockey players would you put on your team?
    Heather B mentioned how awesome it would be to have Biron as the catcher, I muchly agree. I'd have to make Roli our star though. He can hit that damn puck, and that's already freaking amazing.
    
    
11. Do you say soccer or football? Do you even care?
    I find myself slipping up and saying football more often but football here is a CULTURE (Aussie rules that is) so I have to be specific. I do like soccer though. Don't hurt me!
    
    
12. Talk about your work... Or why you can't/wont find work. Or alternatively, talk about the subjects you just took recently in class.
    Postal worker. I sell you stamps, do banking, help you pay bills, do passports, 100 point ID and as well yell at you for being stupid. I'm apparently great at being a retail assistant since I can fake enthusiasm for old ladies. The post office is in a sort of suburban retirement home area so our biggest sellers in greeting cards are 60-90 years age cards. The next ones? Sympathy/grief cards.
    
    
13. You're approached to write a book on anything you want by a publisher. Tell us about it.
    I'm amazingly good at making names so I'll fight over it for a while. So far it'll be called "The guide to kicking ass and taking names". A fictionalised self story of how to not-suck. It'll be like how my life was like if I could go back in time and fix everything.
    
    
14. The Leafs want your goalie! What do you do!?
    Take Huey! Take Halak! But touch Carey and your ass is grass.
    
    
15. What's another hobby you have? Do you secretly have an obsession over something NOT hockey?
    I feel like a complete tosser saying this stuff but I have many obsessions. I read lots of books, watch lots of movies and listen to lots of music. Apart from that I grew up on a strict diet of games. My sister and I were joking about my brother (the cherished eldest one) who is a WoW addict. When he came to visit from overseas, he'd hole up in his room tapping away doing it and would even ask if he had to go to dinner with us.
    "But yeah," I'd say, "We were never that hardcore."
    "Uh..." my sister's eyes would darken "There was a time. But you saw the light."