Sunday, May 13, 2007

A Very Special Mother's Day Top Ten List From Margee

Mother's Day is a glorious holiday that knows no creed. Everyone has a mom. Except for MacDuff, of course. Hockey players have moms, too. She's the one who took them to all those practices when they were kids, fed them nutritious pre-game meals, and is regularly denied access to those fun father-son road trips once they make the NHL. But some moms receive the proper appreciation they deserve from their pro sons. In honor of this lovely holiday, I give all the moms out there a gift. Here is my top ten list of the NHL's Greatest Mama's Boys.

10. Jaromir Jagr
Mama Jagr taught him how to apply rouge, the wonders of proper mullet-care, and, ever the revolutionary, how to stick it to the big boys down in DC. Jagr has said that should he ever settle down, his lady must be Czech. Just like mom.

9. Darcy Tucker
Darcy Tucker's mom loves him so much, that she gave him her name. That's the kind of bond that lasts for life, you guys.

8. Ray Emery
That kind of awesome fashion sense had to come from somewhere. Unless young Ray was babysat by Mr. and Mrs. Roper, I sense his mom had a lot to do with cultivating his sense of steelay. The powder blue suit/paisley blouse combo he sported at one Sens press conference is totally the outfit my mom wore to my Confirmation. I swear.

7. Keith Tkachuk
We should really stop making jokes about Tkachuk being a fattie. Haha, sure. Anyway, it's apparent that the junior Tkachuk certainly enjoyed mom's home cooking. And it's apparent that he still does.

6. Derek Boogaard
How does one hone one's fighting skills in this benevolent day and age? I have a sneaking suspicion that the Boogeyman heard a lot of mama jokes in his time, and being the good son he is, he defended Mrs Boogey's honor countless times, turning his meaty fists into weapons of death.

5. Pavel Datsyuk
Nothing clever here. Just looks like he knows the best part of his mama's apron to hide behind.

4. Joe Sakic
Regarded as the best captain in the game, we know that his nurturing, supportive nature must have been a quality he learned at the elbow of Mama Sakic. Plus, I bet they get Botox shots together, because, dude don't age.

3. Derek Roy
Wasn't it Derek Roy who placed a delicate kiss on the cheek of his Captain Daniel Briere after scoring a goal in last year's playoffs? That unabashed affection is the mark of a loving, cuddly connection to mom.

2. Marc-Andre Bergeron
See #5.

1. Mike Modano
This guy loves his mom so much that he's maintained an exact replica of her haircut and highlights on his lid for the better part of 20 years. All children are dwarfed by this man's devotion.


hockeygirl said...

Oh, Margee. Happy Mother's Day to your mom for raising and nurturing a genius in the form of YOU. :D

Elly said...

Haha, nothing like a Macbeth reference on Mother's Day.

KMS2 said...

Seriously, how does Jagr always have rosey, red cheeks?

Jordi said...

You have perfectly synthesised how much mother's day means to the NHL.

PPP said...

Nice post :) but you forgot Pavel Bure's bright red lips. I guess it was just current players.

but MacDuff did have a mother. He was just born via caesarean rather than naturally which is why he was able to slay Macbeth.

Schnookie said...

Margee, you constantly amaze! Just... brilliant. Nicely done!

Steph said...

I read an article where they talked to Jagr's mom about coming to his apartment in NY, having to clean the whole thing and buy him food (for which Petr Prucha was eternally grateful). So I think you're spot on :b

Bethany said...

Haha Margee...I love you.