Facial Hair Friday

I'd like to dedicate this post to Teemu Selanne.

All types of facial hair are represented during the playoffs: the naked face, sparse splattering of hair follicles, grizzly bear, etc. Let’s take a look at the different kinds (from the least amount of hair to the most) and analyze exactly what went wrong.

All photos are courtesy of Yahoo!

I know that the exact same pic was posted not too long ago, but it is the perfect example of the inability of the baby Pens to grow facial hair. They just look so young! Awwww…how cute.


Murray, seriously! C’mon!! Coaches have to partake in the playoff facial hair, too!! Look at Barry Trotz! (see below for the pictures, if you dare look) Don’t even try to convince me that you can’t grow any facial hair. I understand Crosby’s situation, the kid is still in his teens, but you’re ancient, you have to be able to grow at least peach fuzz. Shame on you, Murray, how dare you shave!


Now for the man who gave me the inspiration for this post. I took one look at Selanne in tonight’s game and thought, “Didn’t I see him on Dateline NBC?” He would probably be in the next category except that his creepy moustache qualifies him to be placed in a separate category: sexual predator facial hair. Sadly, I could not find a picture worthy enough to be posted on this blog. I could only find this picture which barely shows his moustache. But trust me, he does not look good. I admit, Briere is walking the line, but his moustache gives him more of a “Frenchman” look and given his French-Canadian background, I’m going to separate him from Selanne.


Dany Heatley (2^nd Round, Game 1) is sporting the ”short stubble” look. This look is OK. Not great, but not bad. There’s not much of it so it’s a bit on the incomplete side. I bet it feels like the roughest grade of sandpaper;props to the lady who can withstand a brush against that face.


I think Trotz has the best worst facial hair. This picture was taken after Nashville was eliminated and I think he did some grooming because it actually looks significantly better than it did while Nashville was still playing. I couldn't believe how he looked so haggard! It’s amazing how a bad beard can turn “clean cut and professional” into “gross and homeless”. During the 1^st Round, I shuddered everytime the camera zoomed in on Trotz. By the way, did anyone catch the picture of a SJ fan sitting behind the Nashville bench with a homemade “Barry Trotz Family Tree” poster complete with Shrek and Danny DeVito and other Trotz look alikes?

I really wanted to find a picture of JS Giguere because he pulls off the grizzly bear look the best. However, I came across this picture of Turco and Luongo at the end of the handshake and decided that it deserved to be mentioned. All three of the aforementioned netminders grow fantastic beards. Although JS is not pictured, I would say that his is the best, followed by Turco, and then Luongo slips in at third. I read somewhere (probably on ESPN NHL) that JS immediately shaves it all off once the playoffs are over. Not that I could ever really understand, but yeah, I don’t see how it could be comfortable to grow that thick of a beard and then have to put a mask over your face.

What are your favorite facial hair styles, who should keep it and who should be banned from participating in this playoff tradition? Actually, I don’t think anyone should be banned because then you would think they were super lame like Bryan Murray.