Attention all general managers:
It has come to our attention that the NHL has been infiltrated by Cylons**. It has been well documented that goal tender Tim Thomas is a Cylon, but we believe there are others. We need them found and identified before they compromise the league.
All Cylons must be identified by June. This will allow for an even redistribution of them throughout the League over the summer. No team should have more than two Clyons at any given time to prevent them from having an unfair advantage. Coaches may also be Cylon. Do not tell them of your investigation or it will be compromised.
We have a few possible suspects already in mind, but we need YOUR HELP to find the rest. Once you have complied your lists, all subjects will submit to testing.
Please act with all haste and post your potential Cylon players in the comments below, as soon as possible. Findings will be relayed back to you as soon as we have confirmed the presence of all the Cylons in the League.
Thank You,
-Gray, Commissioner in Charge of Confirming Cylon Presence
**Cylons are robots that look and feel like normal humans. They are generally indistinguishable from the general population, though many may exhibit signs of unnatural stamina or strength. Please keep these qualities in mind when submitting your list of names.
Monday, March 02, 2009
The League Needs Your Help
His test worked.
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3 comments:
Zach Parise!
I'm on to that kid. -shifty eyes- But the Devils have Brodeur, so shouldn't Parise have to jet out of New Jersey? I think so.
Brodeur is high on our list. He's out for how long and he gets a shut out his first game back? That guy's not human.
Zach Parise has been added and will be called in for testing.
Michael Leighton, nettie for the Canes. Last April 24th in the Calder Cup Eastern simifinals the game went to it's 5th OT period. He managed to turn away 98 saves and took a 101 total SOG.
If that boy isn't a skin job, I'll kiss the River Rats Mascot!
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