Darling Brendan,

We’re at a breaking point.

It’s really hard to say this, considering all we’ve been through. I mean, I loved you from afar for so long. (Detroit is far, no?) I didn’t think you’d ever even look our direction. But there you were, to my surprise, asking for us.

Can I even express to you how happy I was? I don’t think I can. I was thrilled beyond thrilled that you wanted to be here. And you were everything I thought you would be; exciting and strong and brave. Plus, you’re quite handsome for your age.


Remember that time when you took on Donald Brashear? Every part of me loved you right then. You were one of us, and you would do anything for us.

I’m getting off track. I’m reminiscing about the past when I should be focused on the future. Our future.

You’re just not the same. You’re not the way you used to be. You’re not as strong. You’re not as brave. I know you’ve had some injuries, and I know you were never the best skater, but sometimes it looks like you’re just standing still. You can’t keep up and it’s no one’s fault but time’s. Don’t we deserve more than that, though? Look past the blame and the pointing fingers and accept this reality. You shy away from contact! I’m a red-blooded girl, I need some contact. Relationships don’t work that way.

The truth is… there is someone else. I’m so sorry. We have new wingers, Brendan. I’m really sorry, it just happened. I mean, Naslund wanted us as much as we wanted him. Zherdev… I mean, could you pass up that trade?! And Prucha and Dawes and Callahan are growing up, and they’re ready. And they don’t cost much, either.

You know I’m a Prucha fan. He was just so cute, and he scored thirty goals his rookie season! He lost our attention when you came. He dropped back a couple lines. He lost his ice time. His goal production decreased. He disappeared. Are we going to let him continue to regress? Are we going to watch it happen to others we could have had happy relationships with?

Please don’t be mad. I’ll always have a soft spot for you. I’ll always appreciate you.

There have just been so many changes. I’m different, you’re different; the team is different. So please retire. Please! We can’t take you back, but I can’t stand to watch you with another team. I’m a jealous girl and I can’t watch someone else claim you as theirs.

If you come to training camp, I’ll be there to support you. I’ll root for you.

I want to you to have third line minutes and power play time. That’s it. It’s the way it has to be. But it won’t be that way, will it? You’ll ask for more, and Renney will stupidly give it to you, and we’ll be back at square one. Do we even have the cap room for you? But I’d rather you just retire. Hang up your skates and say goodbye to the NHL rather than play for some other team, just like Jagr did. Jagr retired a Ranger. Please retire a Ranger.

So this is it. It’s my goodbye, regardless of where you end up come October. I still love you. A part of me will always love you. But I need to move on, for me. For the Rangers.

Goodbye, Brendan Shanahan.

P.S. Just hurry up and make a decision already. You’re killing me, darling.