Friday, April 11, 2008

Remember your Roots

All this Stanley Cup hoopla, p'shaw. Don't you people realize there are still regular season hockey games being played across the nation East Coast and Iowa?

That's your problem, all you uptight emo NHL bloggers. You're so wrapped up into your big shiny pre-packaged Teams of Awesome(tm) to remember where you came from. Sure, there's the occasional Sidney Crosby or Nicklas Backstrom who wanders in and joins the big team in his first try, but y'all seem to be forgetting all those guys who show up for training camp every year.
"WHAT?" you may say. "WHO THINKS ABOUT THOSE GUYS?"
Come on, you think all those dudes who don't make the team out of camp and get 'sent down' just go into cryogenic suspension until all the other options are exhausted and they get to be thawed out again? Gilbert Brule and Alex Goligoski would be some frostbitten little bits of meat if that was the case.

No,(and this may take some of you by surprise) in fact, there's a WHOLE 'NOTHER LEVEL OF HOCKEY in North America. They call it the American Hockey League (although there are a few teams in Canadia, so I'm guessing we're talking American like the continent) and SHOCK AND HORROR, most of your Teams of Awesome(tm) are *GASP* ASSOCIATED WITH ONE OF THESE LESSER TEAMS!

"MY GOD!" you may say. "IS THAT WHERE ALL THESE NOBODIES COME FROM DURING PLAYOFFS?"
You are correct, my NHL-watching friends! And in fact, these nobodies have their own playoffs as well! In about a week, they too will be competing for their very own cup. It's a smaller cup, and more square (as cups go) but it's their very own cup nonetheless.

So just remember, as you watch your Teams of Awesome(tm) run all over creation after Stanley, that next year's members of your team are, in fact doing the same thing for a cup we call Calder. And for the love of all that is holy, remember that some of your co-bloggers are trying to balance the adrenaline rush of having two sets of playoffs to keep track of at once. If they make it through this alive, let them tell you about their Beagles and their Grattons, their Tlustys and their Motzkos. They'll be able to tell you what your team will look like for the next few years, and you, well, you have half the internet to talk to about your Teams of Awesome(tm).

6 comments:

Dare said...

Go Marlies!

I thought that every NHL team had an AHL team now (unlike last year, when the Oilers were sending players to the ECHL and such). *checks* Okay, so Florida and Buffalo share the Amercs and everyone else has a shiny team all to themselves. Got it.

I was actually surprised (pleasantly) that regular season games were still going on when I wandered on back to Toronto this week.

Now, if only I could figure out where Quad City is located and what, exactly, a "Sound Tiger" and my AHL mysteries would be solved.

Amy Lynn said...

Bow down to the Wolves. They own you all. :P

(Damn you and your Marlies! They killed us yesterday. :[)

Dare said...

haha, I was at that game! I expected more out of the Wolves, not going to lie. :)

Q-girl said...

Don't forget the wee baby players of the QMJHL, the OHL and the WHL. Some of us are junior junkies - sick twisted, overaged, junior junkies. My drug of choice (or convenience) is the QMJHL.

I know the draftees before they are drafted. I know your Giliatis (Marlies), Morehouses (Mudbugs - CHL), Walkers (Brahmas - CHL), Berniers (Monarchs/ LA), etc. etc. They belong to you now. Make them feel loved.

Kerri said...

GO WOLFPACK WOOOO.

Are we in the playoffs? lol, sorry.

How do you SHARE an AHL team? That's got to be some sort of disadvantage, right?

Teka said...

Oh, trust me, if I was still in Portland I'd be behind the Winterhawks all the way.... well, all the way to the end of the season as they suck like vacuums right now. But Mucha.... the adorkable little goalie....