Monday, December 11, 2006

Santa + Hemsky's Socks + Big Jim = The annual hlog reporr!

I only just recently realised that I could transfer my photos off my camera onto a computer. So I'm not sure but hockeygirl could do her version of the report or add her notes in brackets or such. How about in bold? :)

Unfortunately our big annual get together was downgraded to a sad meeting between me and hockeygirl. But we knew how to throw a party. Damn straight, we ripped it up. *snort*
But never in my wildest dreams did I think we'd meet up. And never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I was going to have to present myself, destroying the possible rumours of me being eight feet tall and with a big booming voice of a giant. I'll be honest. I'm not 17, I don't live in Australia. I'm 44 and I'm actually a male living in my mother's basement. Not for long though, since my christian rock band is really starting to catch on and we might get a record deal with a christian rock label.

Joking aside, I met hockeygirl and there was that awkward pause when our eyes met with "is she really looking at me because she recognises me or am I really hot in Toronto?". This was after some other woman was giving me a strange look, like maybe I shouldn't be lurking in the hotel lobby in the middle of the afternoon. And we started our trek (several meters) to the Hockey Hall of Fame. I, was positively giddy. As was I. I couldn't wait to see old jerseys and whatever people donated because they didn't care. I mean, when we got to the trophy room (with a detour of a recreation of the Habs dressing room - I squeed pretty hard [I had to hold her back] then but was totally speechless. That's how squee-ful I was) santa was there! I mean it's been a while since I sat on a creepy bearded man's knee but I have to say I like cheesy. Santa was there! I felt like yelling like Will Ferrell in Elf, "SANTA! SANTA!" Oh wait, maybe I did...

And I think there was something wrong, the Western Conference trophy hasn't got the Oiler's name etched on it yet. No wonder the guys lost, the NHL doesn't care about them anyway! Oh and because I am a loser:

Take that Staal!

I guess the overall theme of this trip is cheesy. We got a photo with santa and the cup (I didn't touch it you know, because I don't want hockeynerd cooties). Or jinx it. And what way to top off a trip to the Hall of Fame (where I left with a LOT of things - complete with a Koivu jersey) with a trip to Gretzky's? Things to say from there? Um. Big serves. And nice waiter who gave one free salad because hockeygirl's salad looked really sad and bare. It was sad and bare, I would even call it lame, but everything was fine once the replacement salad came.

Oh and I kid you not, I did sit on Santa's lap: here's a photo to prove it. Well you'll have to tilt your head since I can't be bothered rotating the photo. Oh and aren't I pretty?

Wait, why is santa touching my ass?

I too, sat with the man in red and asked him for another kind of man in red.

And if you don't believe I saw Hemsky's socks, then:

And if you don't believe I saw Big Jim, then:
BTW, you can "suit him up as a lifeguard, pilot, jungle vet, soccer player, baseball player, basketball player and many more too! Outfits for Big Jim, Big Jack, Big Josh, Big Jeff action figures. All items available separately. This BIG JIM action figure comes with karate board, baseball, dumbbell and muscle band." Isn't this on your wish list?

And the best part of the trip? Samsonov on a trophy! SQUEE!

And the best part of the trip was showing who the real winner of the Calder was:

So if you ever saw two girls giggling and taking photos left and right, they weren't high - they were just... excited. And would I do this again? Totally. Maybe next time we can actually catch a game. That and hockeygirl was very nice and didn't point out how completely unfunny, bland and a little creepy I am in real life.

It's true, we were maybe a little too excited, but we fit in perfectly with the rambuctious kids who were also present. I would do it again too. And catching a game would make it even better. Jordi was not at all unfunny, bland and creepy. Unfunny was the yelling man at the table beside us at dinner. Bland was my salad at dinner. Creepy was that fucking scoreboard clock at dinner. I am thankful that Jordi didn't point out how boring and indecisive I am in real life.

And erm, not my best side - but it's plenty hot.:

And we left our address in the bill at Gretzky's. I doubt we'd get much from it but it's hard to think of a great idea to spread the word and not look like a creep who like throwing paper around. And there was a video that... did not work. I can't believe the video didn't work. I am calling upon the technical wizard I live with to fix it so we can share it.


Sherry said...

I am positively envious I missed this transcontinental HLOG gathering. I was busy getting pwned by my finance final instead.

Darn you guys! Come back to us soon Jordi!

Rebecca said...

Oh, you guys, I'm so jealous! It looks like you had lots of fun (and Jordi, I would have squee'd right along with you in the Habs locker room...)

You'll have to do this again sometime, you know, when I'm not such a loser and can actually tag along.

Jordi said...

It was so awesome! I swear, Santa made it all special - it's like he came just for us. We were joking about how they should've gotten rid of all the hockey crazy kids and closed down the place so we could squee around in peace.

I'm sure one day a tv show deal will come around at a nice 7pm timeslot. It'd be called "HLOG! And why it matters to you".

That or "only you can prevent forest fires". I've thought this through very well.

Jordi said...

Oh and I will be saving up for the 2010 meeting, complete with the olympics. That and it'll take me that long to make more money for this trip .

hockeygirl said...

Sherry: We could try again for the Ontario chapter.

Rebecca: If you ever find yourself in TO, let me know.

Heather B. said...

We definitely have to do this again some time! I'm as jealous as everyone else!

Love the photo of the real winner with the Calder.

Anonymous said...

I've lived in this city practically all my life and I haven't stepped foot in the Hockey Hall of Fame in about 5 years. I'll have to drag one of you with me to go see it ... I might cry at seeing Stanley's glory.

Jordi said...

Stanley's glory is awesome, I mean I told myself that it wasn't going to be excited but after the cup I was so excited. Hell when I get home, I'm going to nail that photo to my wall and pray hard.