Thursday, November 02, 2006

What earliest hockey memory?

If I fail maths writing this, I blame my future on all you ladies. You know who you are.

Nonetheless this is to answer this week's question since it was sooo tempting. I don't want to rain on anyone's parade or spoil the fun. But I really don't have anything glamourous to say about it. I wanted to have a one liner post that said "Then god said. Let there be Jordi." And I suddenly was born in the middle of a rink or some hockey player saved me from a burning building. But I'm not all that interesting.

So I've decided to spice it up, meaning I'm going to make up an impossible story to hide the fact that I am pretty dull in real life (when sober).

I was born in a small fishing village in some shore, which is today deserted after the invention of the steam engine. And that thing threw everything out of wack. Nonetheless I had known since birth that I was a special child. If it wasn't my mad fishing skills, it was my totally rad ability as a hunter. But as we migrated to the big city, (what with the steam engine and the crazy amazon warlords) I found that I didn't belong to my parents, for not only was it a great halloween story (because they really weren't joking), I had gone on a quest to find my real parents.

I reached realisation one day as I sat in front of a tv and there was something about the way Craig Mactavish walked. And I knew. I was his daughter. But then I went down to the rink and left with an aching ass. That and people asked me not to return because I kept clotheslining them.

And Joffrey Lupul is my biological twin. I know.

By the way while I was typing this, the Habs shutout the Canes in what is called by some as "sweet revenge". See I do have magical powers.

Edit: Oh yeah.


Sherry said...

You have to put a nun in the story somehow. No epic tale is complete without a nun or some other religious sage of some sort.

If Lupul's your twin that means you can't get together with him!

Jordi said...

I knew I should have thought this over! Oh my god what did I do!? It doesn't matter. All I know is Lupul will lift me up that social ladder.

hockeygirl said...

You are hilarious.

Finny said...

MacT's love-child?! ohhh, man... and Loops as your twin... too funny

Jordi said...

It was going to turn into a soapie so I had to beat myself to stop. "But Lupul. If you knew all along, why didn't you visit me!?" "I couldn't, I had to focus on my career." "That's not what a twin does!"