Sunday, November 05, 2006

Duck you you whiny witch Mcgeough.

I don't get it. Maybe God is telling me something. Something like "GET OFF THE DAMN COMPUTER FATASS". But I sit there and go "Gee I dunno it's gonna be tough". Long story short, don't mess with God. He always wins.

I'm trying to keep our lovely group blog safe for children or easily offended people. And as well this year I've used one word more than other year I've used it. So I'm going to replace all offensive words in what is a flamingly offensive post and it will magically become a confusing post about puppies and the word "Duck".

It started with the most ducking call made by a guy I want to shoot, stab and wrap in chicken wire. His fornicating call made the Oil lose against the Stars and as well the coach whom I claim to be my father is slapped with the most ridiculous fine in which you know he had to work his fingers to the bone to raise. And all I can say is, Duck it. Duck Duck Duckity Duck.

Nonetheless in what is commonly seen as an act of goodwill (or to some "Ego stroking and attention whoring". Not my words), Battle of Alberta want to make a statement. Help relieve MacT of his unfortunate fine and tell the NHL where to stick it. I've actually entertained an idea as I walked past the dictionary section in Borders where I buy one new thesaurus, highlight the word "retarded" and its alternatives, bookmark it and mail it off to a sunny area in Edmonton. Included would be a scribbled page of healthy words like "Duck" in which he can use often freely and without the threat of a fine. Because really, if I went to all the girls in this hlog and called them sluts well a couple of them will laugh and a couple will ask to quit promptly and cut all ties. But that's not the point.

The point is that why the fuss about a word that has become so commonplace and in some cases, has little meaning? I don't think it's acceptable to make fun of the disadvantaged, my mother works with them everyday and believe it or not, there is actually quite a lot of injustice against these guys and it's not from some guy with great silver hair muttering a word in the heat of the moment that will prompt angry letters to the editor. You have to be incredibly naive to believe that these kind of events promote any sort of ignorance. If you want something safe, what if MacT says "It is unfortunate that these kind of events are the cause of NHL's retardation and its deteriorating status". Because that would be the truth. And that would be safe. And they would probably give him a fine for using long words.

Duck it. I'm just mad that Mcgeough is a stupid lovechild. And of course, he's human. A lot of people are. Unless there was something about refs that noone has told me about yet (are they keeping their brains in jars?), mistakes happen. But to enforce a fine on MacT absolutely negates the whole "benefit of the doubt deal" and in the end - the ref is infallible.

Like the pope. The ref is one lucky pope with stripes. He has his job for a long while and if anyone says no to him he goes "screwyerall I'm infallible" and like burns you on a stake.

The second part to my anger is the Habs lose to New Jersey. I think it's ducking unfair that these kids have lost. You can't win them all? Like hell we can't, because over time this will just push us further and further down. We need those wins and this was possible. It's just that people were busy oh I dunno, being absolutely ducking useless. And it's not like games against Buffalo where fans are running around with their heads on fire, it's games like these that really count. Oh and Latendresse is a ducking puppy, I'd rather see him somewhere not on the rink. Maybe in a chair. Far away. He's improving but pretty soon I will make him the Marc-Andre Bergeron of the Canadiens. In other words he will be a damn useless player that fans will have to cover up because we don't like it when other fans take potshots at them.

And it makes me get all philosophical and... stuff. I start thinking of useless things to ease the pain. I try to distract myself by watching a terrible movie or, more recently, freaking about my future and how I'll have to change "make oodles of money" on my to-do list.

Ultimately, all this anger needs me to stare at Kari Lehtonen for hours. It helps take away pain. I had a long procedure of a bottle of wine and sad girl-power music but exams made me take the short route - watch Rugby and laugh when people get hurt. Oh and because it amused me for a while: Nabokov really wants to see that Borat movie. I like! High five!

Duck it I'm tired.

* The word Duck is not chosen because I like sunny Anaheim. I was going to use words like clucking bell or hucking fell but I just couldn't work it.

2 comments:

Sherry said...

I appluade your restraint Jordi.

Had MacT indeed used that phrase instead I think the league would have been collecting scratching their heads and been trying to figure out for days whether or not he did insult someone.

And good idea with the thesaurus, but good luck finding a sunny area in Edmonton :P

Finny said...

ahaha, we're kid friendly? I'm just teasing. Been kind of a long week, I'll be back making some noise on the hlog in another day or two.