Friday, October 06, 2006

I do not sell drugs to kids!

AQUIETGIRL - HOCKEY WILL TEAR US APART

Where you're from, what you do - basic things.

I was once described by someone as, "a quiet girl." Obviously, this is inaccurate.

I have never lived in Ottawa -- this has lead to questions about my loyalties to the Senators and Toronto alike. (No, I don't alienate myself on purpose.) Toronto is an easy place to pick on: from what I've experienced, we're nothing but greedy Bay Street suits walking down the street, strutting like we're New Yorkers as we viciously refuse to help a homeless, alcoholic, drug addict. I've shown my love for the city before in my blog, but my situation as a Senators fan in Toronto is usually too complicated to explain to people around me in a reasonable amount of time. Like the affable Jeff O'Neill and George W. Bush have recently brought into our culture, "It is what it is." Well-said, gentlemen.

Besides hockey, I love photography and travelling. I'm in my last year of high school and lost and helpless, as of now, for what to do for the next four years of my life. My enduring dream in life is to be a medical doctor, a sailor and the Hunter S. Thompson of hockey.

Your team and why you like them
The Ottawa Senators, because there is no other truth than that. Everything is meaningless.

Really, the TV was on, the universe was in a symphony and I fell in love. It was Jason Spezza's choppy stride, it was the way the players chewed on their gloves. It was too many years ago to remember exactly how it happened.

I love my team because they are my team -- but beyond this truism, the Ottawa Senators' personality and complex psyche gives me the impression of a man who once believed himself governed by destiny and fate, then found out that God hated him because he ran over His dog. You know?

Your least favourite team and why?
You were all expecting me to say it and I will say it. The Toronto Maple Leafs make my life difficult. I love Toronto too much to think of cities embodied purely in sporting teams, because now I know that Toronto is not a perennial, overweight, old loser on the verge of celebrating 40 years of ineptitude. Uh, that and Leaf fans hated me first. So.

Your favourite player of all time & now?
My favourite player of now is Wade Redden. I love his inability to string together a sentence that is not a cliche or incomprehensible. I like it that he speaks quietly.

UPDATE: I just caught Reds on ET Canada and I am horrified. You sad man, you. You broke my heart 3 years ago and you have the nerve to sing Adam Sandler (poorly, I might add) to a trashy tabloid?! We are so on a break!

I don't have a favourite player of all-time.

If you had to punch one hockey player or member of the NHL organisation, who and why?
Owen Nolan. I also wish to eat his ear and his children. He knows what he did.

What you'll be looking forward in this group blog.
Female perspectives! Humour! Wit! I suppose the three are synonymous.

What you don't like in general?
Seafood, with the exception of salmon and Boston Skate Wings, which I grossly misinterpreted at first.

What role do female fans play in keeping the game alive?
Uh, the same role that female do in general: reproduce like bunnies and use sex as power.

More seriously, our role is the same as any other fan, only we have the duty of keeping the boys in line because sometimes they get way too full of themselves. We are here to whack them into shape, if you will. There's more to hockey than dry statistics and a series of failures. Female fans are generally more perceptive to the personality than male fans. That and we, as a gender, are generally superior, thus improving the intelligence of the discourse. (Ha!)

Then again, there are those of us that exposed ourselves shamelessly in Calgary. Ew. Didn't they know that Jarome Iginla was watching? Jarome Iginla is a sexless, cuddly big brother. You don't do that with your big brother watching!

What role do female fans play in picking heroes for the community?
By hero, I assume you don't mean sex icon.

I think female fans have as much of a role as male fans in picking heroes. We're all fans, in the sense that we want to be respected by the player and see him contribute back to his community.

Hockey just isn't the same without Roger Neilson. Now that man had personality.

If you were on a deserted island, which player would you pick to stay with you?
Crosby, Ovechkin or Phaneuf (hey he tried!)?

Phaneuf's too cocky for his own good. Ovechkin, despite all his charm, remains a foreigner. I'd choose Sidney Crosby because he'd remind me of home.

The player you'd like to take for a grand night out/a movie/a boring event
I'd take Martin Brodeur because he knows how to behave.
I'd take Antoine Vermette with me to a movie because he's quiet and a good movie always fills the silence well.
I'd take Jason Spezza with me to a boring event because he could just giggle a little and then I'd laugh and we'd never stop being obnoxious.

If you could make your own team, regardless of whatever players, what would it be called and where will it be/how would it be like?
Uh, it'd be the Ottawa Senators and all the major deities would play on it. They'd all be contractually obligated to win. Otherwise, they're out of the family!

5 comments:

Jordi said...

It was kinda fun making things up for people though.

And I second the humour & wit!

Sherry said...

HAH! I've never lived in Ottawa either.

But I will...someday.

aquietgirl said...

I don't sell drugs to kids.

I give them.

It's different.

And Sidney Crosby doesn't count as a kid. I'd drug up that boy faster than you can say "Ovechkin."

hockeygirl said...

It's interesting how most of us don't live in the town of our team.

Roger Neilson is missed, for sure.

Anonymous said...

you are awesome. I liked your bit on the Ottawa Senators psyche.
Go Sens.

From the Mecca of great hockey.