Hockey Humour

- someone asks how old your child is and you reply "Minor Atom"
- your odometer hits 100 000km in the arena parking lot
- it's just as dark outside leaving the arena as arriving
- you convince people that practice Sunday mornings at 6AM isn't really that bad
- you convince yourself that practice Sunday mornings a 6AM isn't really that bad
- people you don't know call you by your name at arenas
- it's so cold outside starting the car would take longer than the trip to Timmy's so you break down and drink the arena vending machine coffee
- said vending machine coffee tastes good
- any flipping coffee tastes good at 6AM
- you know where the warm(relatively speaking) seats are in every local rink
- you keep different types of hockey tape in your purse
- you keep track of time by skate sharpenings
- you wake up two hours early to shovel the driveway to get to the game/practice on time, almost
- that glove smell no longer induces vomiting
- you know which arenas have slightly above freezing water in the washrooms
- you know which ones actually have soap in the washrooms
- you know whose turn it is to make the coffee run
- no one knows whose turn it is and no one cares because it all evens out
- you can tell the difference between the smell of laces and the smell of gloves
- a stranger stops you at the grocery store and asks, "Don't you work at the rink?"
- your holiday schedule is planned around games
- you see your friends there more often than anywhere else
- the kids buy into your line about shovelling being good for their backhand shots
- you arrange to meet relatives there
- you remember the rink you where in when your friend called to tell you she was finally pregnant
- you remember the rink you were in when you found out you weren't pregnant/the father
- you remember the rink where your child was conceived - oops, was that my inside voice?
- you know what rinks have amenities for grandparents(viewing rooms and heat lamps!)
- despite all the hassles, you jump out of bed quicker for games and practices than anything else
- you don't think we're crazy for doing it week after week, month after month, year after year
- you read this entire flipping thing
- and forwarded it to your fellow rink rats

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