From the Desk of the GM: Dear NHL Merchandise Department...

Thanks for the effort, but you still fail.

I really wish there was someway for me to see the sales figures on these items, because I remain perplexed as to why the league insists on pushing that crap on us ladies. I just want a jersey. Not a "fashion" jersey. I don't plan on walking any runways or going to high society parties in it...I just want a bloody jersey that fits that doesn't make me look like a box or I'm drowning in fabric. You know what, I'll even make a compromise. I don't even care if it's figure flattering, I don't have much of a figure to flatter anyways, all I ask is for a selection that doesn't make it seem like my only aim in wearing the apparel is trying to impress other people and that I really don't care about my team at all.

Here's a tip: the teams have their individual colours for a reason. They're a way to be identified and to be differentiated from others. You put the logos in baby pink and blue, you're taking away a part of the team's identity and lumping us all together in one, unintelligent mass of pastels.

I understand there's a market out there for that kind of stuff. Great, if it's what you like then by all means go nuts. Hey, the men-folk seem to love it (with all due respect though, you're not the one that would have to wear it). The NHL has all types of fans and I'm happy for that fact but you're walking a fine line when you decide to ignore your most passionate and dedicated fans in this way.

I also don't want to pay $40 for something I can do with a Bedazzler. In fact, when I'm wearing team apparel, I don't want it to look like it's been anywhere near a Bedazzler. I don't need sparkles, ruffles and lace to let everybody know how girly and lady-like I am. I'm assuming that's what me actually being a lady is for.

Of course, my good friend Wrap says it best:

Dudes coming up with this merch; have you ever met a woman? And I mean the type who actually enthusiastically enjoys hockey. I get the vibe you are going home and asking your girlfriend who really loves to read Us Weekly and getting her hair extensions done with her sorority sisters what she would put on the shirts.

I promise you, NHL, we exist. Perhaps you'd know it if you didn't decide that you'd only like to get feedback from your male fans in your latest e-mail survey (I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about).

You have to know we exist, right? I mean by now somebody has to have tipped you off about us, if the hoards of us at the arenas haven't given it away already. Maybe we're not as visibly noticeable because we refuse to wear what you offer us to buy. See how that works?

I've ranted about this endlessly before. I can continue ranting until I'm blue in the face but I'm sure we both would prefer it if I didn't. You should be glad, wonderful Merchandising Department, that we're the type of fans that wouldn't love hockey any less because of it.

^{Cross-Posted to Scarlett Ice.}