Saturday, July 05, 2008

Creative Challenge, AHL style!

As the one who keeps trying to bring some AHL class to this organization, I chose to do my Creative Challenge soundtrack for the Hershey Bears. Somewhere in there I also started a tangential and mostly fun-jabbing soundtrack for the Penguins as well.

Without further ado, (but much MUCH more bad music).....

Bears Soundtrack Anthology 07/08 :

Bleed It Out- Linkin Park
This will forever be the song that makes me think of the 07/08 Bears, as it was ALWAYS first or second in the warmup tracks. It's also been my phone ringtone since... oh... December?

Rockstar- Nickelback
In a tourist town the size of Hershey, pretty much everyone knows the players, and they are a little like the local celebrities…. And the sources of all gossip.

Street Rat- Disney’s Aladdin
Here’s Jay Beagle, an unsigned, undrafted nobody who came in and burned it the heck up out there to the point that the Caps noticed and signed him.

This team went through over 50 people on their roster due to injuries and illness this year. They lost a coach, three (or more?) defected to European teams, and at some point over half the playing roster had started the season in the ECHL. And they STILL MADE PLAYOFFS.

Going the Distance – Cake
Dear Eric Fehr, you made a back-injury comeback midseason to play not only for the big team, but also in TWO sets of playoffs… You’re a beast and I heart yoooooo.

Under Pressure – Queen and David Bowie
For Daren Machesney, who stepped it up like whoa when all of a sudden Freddy Cassivi was playing backup for the Caps. At one point, he was in the top 3 AHL goalies (and ended the season at 19th of 60+) Welcome to your rookie season, Cheezer.

Pat Benatar- Hit Me With Your Best Shot
This is for Quintin Laing's ongoing ability to get his body in front of pucks. Bruisey? Yes. Awesome? ABSOLUTLEY.

Rehab – Amy Winehouse
Oh, Louie Robitaille. You almost got Dennis Leary’s “I’m an Asshole,” but with that whole drunken cop-punching incident at the beginning of the season, I think you and Ms. Winehouse are a much better couple.

Movin’ Out – Billy Joel
Somehow, we wound up with Ben Clymer, who won a Stanley cup in Tampa and has been a fixture of the Caps for a while. We didn’t complain, but it was obvious the AHL wasn’t where he wanted to be.

Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus
This is for dear little awkward Patrick McNeill, the youngest of the Bears, but improving leaps and bounds every game, even if he does make "IDUNNO" face a lot. Right at the end of the season, he and Pinizzotto suddenly discovered that they could hit people, and really seemed to get a kick out of it.

Particle Man- TMBG
Chris Bourque, the 5'8" hockey player. Is he a dot or is he a speck?

Everybody Wants Ya - S Club 7
For my favorite baby Cap, Andrew Gordon, who started shakey and got demoted, but suddenly got the call up a second time and lit a freakin’ fire. Two hat tricks later, he was a fan favorite.

The Way You Move – Outkast
Although I have a specific blueliner in mind, I’m going to give this generally to the Bears defensive corps… although a few of them DID move well, we also had a lot of traffic cones.

Move Along - All American Rejects
Here’s to the lossiest losssful two week road trip ever. Out of something like 11 games, I think they won two. But kept effing going like the machines they are.

Don’t You Forget About Me – Simple Minds
Losing Cap’n Lainger and Boudreau to the Caps. Sure, we were proud of them, but that doesn’t mean w didn’t miss them like whoa during the rest of the season.

Ya Gotta Get A Gimmick - Gypsy
As strange as this looks if you know what context the song's actually in, as soon as Steve Pinizzotto realized he could hit people, he stayed with the big team in Hershey.

She Hates Me – Puddle of Mudd
Oh, Joe Motzko. They traded you away, and I am now without someone to scream insults at. You needed so much to learn to pass and stop puck hogging. Hopefully someone will hate you just as much in Chicago, the second team you managed to play only a few games for and win a Cup with. I despise you so...

Boys Don’t Cry - The Cure
Such a quick exit from playoffs for a team that clawed back with as much heart as these guys did. (Andrew Gordon admitted that he did cry, so here’s to you, Gordo.)

Tangentially, for the Penguins:

Unloco's "Bruises": for Brooks Orpik’s 4 hit Shift Of Madness
Christina Aguilera's "Candyman": for Brooks Orpik himself.
Gladys Knight's "Midnight Train to Georgia": for Colby Armstrong and Erik Christensen
Shania Twain's "UP!": For Ty Conklin…. Where’d that COME from, Conkblock?
REM's It's The End Of the World: The current Penguins worldview.
Johnny Paycheck's "Take This Job And Shove It.":Well, Marion Hossa, or should I say BENEDICT ARNOLD.
MC Hammer's "U Can’t Touch This": Playoff Marc-Andre Fleury, this is your song.
Disney's Ballad of Davy Crockett: This is ALL for Whitney’s playoff beard.
Groucho Marx's "Lydia the Tattoed Lady": C’mere, Ryan Malone. This is yours.
Wierd Al's "White and Nerdy": For that scruffy thing, Sidney Crosby.
Will Smith's "Gettin’ Jiggy With It":Max Talbot, please always keep dancing.
Jackson Five's "I Want You Back": The Great Disappearance of Jordan Staal
No Mercy's "Where Do You Go?": Malkin. (He almost got Manamana for his stunning interview skills.)


Anonymous said...

Kind of sounds like a rough season!

Chris Bourque. Pshaw. The Wolves had 5'7'' Brett Sterling that was second in the league in goals. :P

Anonymous said...

It was a brutal season. They'd get these hot streaks where everything was working, and then all of a sudden we'd be in sucksville again.

Anonymous said...

That's terrible. Win streaks are fun, but losing streaks just plain suck beyond reason. Hopefully they can pull it together and become more consistent next season.