Disclamer: Before reading this, pretend you haven't read Margee's and Jordi's commercials. We acknowledge ours aren't nearly as funny, but we're new here and didn't want you all to think we were never going to contribute anything!
Each of these commercials would be quick spots, almost guerrilla advertising. They will feature just the images described and will end with a quick cut to black, then an almost subliminally fast flash edit of a game highlight of the player in question, followed by the NHL logo. No voiceover, no tagline. And these commercials will be featured only during non-NHL programming, when perhaps the idea of trying to attract fans would actually apply.
Henrik Lundqvist is shown in a study. We see Hank typing furiously away at a typewriter. Zoom in on what he's written: "a#sbi)23 9ba&*p1kanb ks adh oia*weg". The scene then cuts to Hank at the same desk, with the same typewriter, only now the desk is on ice and he's wearing his uniform, complete with blocker and glove. More furious typing. Zoom in on what he's written this time: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness..."
Dion Phaneuf is shown in an art studio, wearing a paint-smeared smock and a beret, finger-painting from a palette. The canvas in front of him is revealed to be covered with ugly, meaningless smears of paint. Cut to the same easel now on the ice, with Phaneuf now in full kit with smock and beret over his sweater and helmet respectively. He looks pleased, as he dabs the final touch to his work. The canvas is revealed this time to be Gericault's The Raft of the Medusa.
Jordan Staal is shown playing Scrabble on a coffee table in a rec room. We see him grumpily ruminating the letters he's drawn: X P L G Q F Q. Cut to the same coffee table on the ice and Staal is now in his Penguins sweater. We see him smiling and nodding as his letters now spell: A N T I D I S E S T A B L I S H M E N T A R I A N I S M.
Sheldon Souray is shown in a science lab in a white lab coat and safety goggles. He has a pile of what looks like brightly colored Tinker Toys, which he is using to put together a sloppy freeform, amorphous shape. Cut to the same lab table on the ice; Souray is wearing the lab coat over his full uniform. We see him shuffle the Tinker Toys around and voila! A double helix!
6 comments:
I may approve but even non-hockey fans will know this is clearly a lie. Jordan Staal can't spell and Dion Phaneuf only draws naughty bits.
Wow. I'm... speechless.
You girls may be new but you have my heart.
Jordi, you seem to have found the fatal flaw in our commercial plan... We thought something wasn't adding up!
Excellent! I'd love to see Jordan play scrabble.
Being a huge Scrabble fan, I can appreciate your idea, but making an impossible word isn't cool. Making a really high-scoring possible (even if it's unlikely) word is cool. So maybe he can put a 15-letter word on the board, but that should be it. In theory, it's possible to play the word CIRCUMNAVIGATED, as there are enough spaces on the board for it (if some of those letters are already sitting there).
Technicalities schmechnicalities, Shan. ;)
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