Monday, April 09, 2007

Interchangeable Parts : A Life in Letters

We are sisters who are best friends. Our blog is, named for the dig Colin Campbell once took at the Devils reputation, but we also liked that it basically described us, too. We've long suspected we share a brain, since we're always thinking and saying the same things. So we're responding to this questionnaire as the two of us. That way if another Devils blogger wants to join the fray (we're fairly sure there are other Devils fans out there, but don't take our word for it), we won't be taking up two slots with essentially the same opinions. We're so excited to be joining such august company here at HLOG!

1. Where you're from, what you do - basic things.

Liz (aka Schnookie) and Eleanor (aka Pookie) are proud New Jerseyians, based in lovely Central Jersey. We've tried living elsewhere, but just keep coming back. Liz works at a pharmaceutical company; although she receives flowers every Administrative Professionals Day, she is convinced her job entails reading about hockey on the interwebs all day. Eleanor is a librarian, and thus is hiding something (that something? That she spends all day reading about hockey on the interwebs).

2. Your team and why you like them.

The New Jersey Devils are our team, at first because of geography and now because of love -- love of winning! When Schnookie got her first job in college, her plan was to save up for a trip to England. Somehow that trip turned into season tickets to the Devils (the Rangers were too expensive and the Flyers? Puh-lease!), which in the long run was a much better use of that money. One preseason game in, we were completely smitten. The experience of attending a Devils game is all about hockey. There's no extra entertainment, no frills, heck, there aren't even any stars. The Devils might not make it easy for us, but they don't underestimate their fans -- it's pure sport and nothing else -- and we appreciate that.

3. Your least favourite team and why?

The New York Rangers, of course. Pookie saw a license plate recently that randomly contained the letters "NYR" and realized she would spend a month in line at the DMV to get that changed had it been assigned to her car. Why the hatred? Because the team is evil. Those ridiculous lace-up sweaters, the self-proclaimed "world's most famous arena", the condescending salute to the fans at the end of every home win. Look up "loathsome" in the dictionary and you'll see the Rangers logo. That said, Rangers-Devils is the best rivalry hockey's got going right now.

4. Your favourite player of all time & now?

Devils fans with even a modicum of self-preservation learn not to get too attached to players, and thus the favorite player question is always a little tough. Right now, our all-time favorite player has to be Scott Stevens since he captained our team to 3 Cups. Someday when we stop taking him for granted, Marty Brodeur will surely be top of the list. As for favorite current player, there is no question: Jay Pandolfo. We'll wait for you all to stop laughing. Done? Pando is the epitome of all that is good about this team. (That's right, we're not good at scoring! Ah, poor Pando, can't even get love from his most ardent fans!)

5. If you had to punch one hockey player or member of the NHL
organisation, who and why?

The moron who insists on perpetuating the myth that the Devils are killing hockey. But if we can't find him, Darcy Tucker. Because... why not? Or maybe Jagr, because with his trick shoulder we know he wouldn't be able to punch us back.

6. What you'll be looking forward in this group blog.

In real life we have somehow managed to affiliate ourselves with a group of friends who, while being truly wonderful people, openly and passionately hate sports (Philistines!). In HLOG we're looking forward to being part of lively and intelligent discourse on hockey from a female perspective (with quality writing, to boot!).

7. What you don't like in general?

Bananas, coconut, dogs and stupid people. But mostly just the bananas and coconut.

8. What role do female fans play in keeping the game alive?

Well, first and foremost we're fans. We're butts in the seats, buying tickets, TV packages, sweaters, etc. In a perfect world, we'd like to think that male or female, we'd all just be fans. But since this isn't a perfect world, we'll say that female fans get obsessed quicker, and thus are harder to shake -- we'll be fans until the bitter end. We also demand more access -- more information about the game and the players, off-ice profiles and interviews, an emphasis on the human element of the game -- and thus encourage better PR, which helps the game reach a larger audience.

9. What role do female fans play in picking heroes for the community?

Um... we objectify the good-looking guys, encouraging generations of youth to grow up prettier? OK, seriously, because of our emotional involvement in the human element of the game, we demand more accountability. Sadly, the female fan is largely a marginalized voice so this doesn't have the impact we'd hope it would, but it sounds good on paper.

10. Hockey just isn't the same without...

Ties. Can someone explain to us again please why we're trivializing our sport by having important points in the standings determined by a trick-shot contest? Can someone explain to us again please why no one seems to have an issue with the fact that NFL games can and do end in ties? Can someone explain to us again please why the mainstream hockey media insists on using the fact that the fans are standing as an indication that shoot-outs are universally popular? Hello! We're standing up because the idiots in front of us stood up and now we can't see the ice!

11. If you were on a deserted island, which player would you pick to
stay with you?

Mike Commodore. We've heard him described as being able to talk for hours to anyone about anything, so he'd be able to fill in the rare moments of silence when we ran out of things to talk about ourselves. Plus we'd already know what to expect looks-wise after weeks without grooming. Other options: Marty Biron, for conversation only, and Zach Parise, for looks only.

12. Crosby, Ovechkin or Phaneuf (hey he tried!)?

Dude, no question! Crosby. We love us some Ovie, and hey if someone was going to airlift Phaneuf onto our deserted island you wouldn't hear any complaints, but Sid's got that something special. We call it... being The Best Player In The NHL. Sure he makes us feel like dirty old ladies, but hey, what can you do? These NHL players just seem to keep getting younger.

13. The player you'd like to take for a grand night out/a movie/a boring event?

Grand Night Out: Sheldon Souray. Boyfriend can rock a velvet frock coat and what's the point of a grand night out if you can't get a little costume-y?

Movie: Joe Sakic, Eric Staal or any other player who's been described by Michael Farber as being so quiet it's as if they were "raised by deer". We're crotchety old ladies before our time and can't stand people talking during movies. It would be a shame if we had to ask the usher to escort our own date out before the trailers stopped running.

Boring Event: Alex Ovechkin. He smacks of that obnoxious dude who you should hate because he gets away with everything, but he's just too damn funny to get mad at. As long as Ovie's around, there are no boring events.

14. If you could make your own team, regardless of whatever players,
what would it be called and where will it be/how would it be like?

Our team would be called the Little Wooden Robot Boys. We'd be a team-first, defense-oriented outfit built through years of careful scouting and smart drafting of mid-level picks. Year in and year out, no matter the rule changes, the Little Wooden Robot Boys would just keep winning. Everyone would hate us, but come June we'd have the happiest parking lot in the Garden State.


Heather B. said...

So wait. Your saying Zach Parise is better looking than Marty Biron? *And* you're Devils fans?! Well... welcome anyway, I guess... ;-)

Bethany said...

Welcome girls!! Go Devils!! Being that I am a Brodeur fan even before my own Blue Jackets...I gotta cheer for him! Anyway, we're glad you're here.

Ellie said...

ooo - Eleanor, Elly & Ellie - this will be fun! (my real name is Eleanor - how bout you Elly?)

apart from liking the devils, you despise Philly and picked Sid - welcome : )

Jordi said...

Dude I was totally glued to that jacket Souray wore, was so metrosexual I wondered if he were my long lost brother.

Anyway, the head lady says hi, make yourself comfortable. I don't watch Yankee baseball.

Elly said...

I'll second what Ellie said, if you like Sid and don't like the Flyers...welcome! I'll even forget about that whole liking the Devils part. ;)

(also, if Blogger doesn't let me post for about the 60th time, I might be a little upset)

Elly said...

I'll second what Ellie said, if you like Sid and don't like the Flyers...welcome! I'll even forget about that whole liking the Devils part. ;)

Interchangeable Parts said...

Thanks, ladies, for making us feel so welcome here! Jordi, if you have to watch baseball, you might as well make it the Yankees (squeeeee! Derek Jeter!). Anyway, we know it's tough to open your hearts to Devils fans (Sid lovers and Flyers haters aside) so we appreciate the effort.

kristin said...

A big welcome from the resident Philly fan! It's not so much that I hate the Devils, it is more like indifference. Although I did turn down front row seats behind the net when we were playing the Devils....

Anyhow, welcome, and I look forward to sparring verbally with you! Just kidding!

Rinslet said...

Welcome. :D

Wayne from Alabama said...

Hey Devils fans:

Your team is so boring, it has plenty of empty seats even when the team wins! You have to draw in the Rangers just to get close to a sellout.

I've never understood how the hockey intelligentsia bashes markets like Nashville, Atlanta, and Phoenix for being in the bottom third in attendance, when every time I see a Jersey game, I see nothing but 3-4,000 empty seats.

BTW: About hockey in Nashville (no, I'm not a Preds fan), the Jersey Devils have only themselves to blame; if they hadn't used Nashville as leverage back in '95 to get a still-unfinished arena, the 'ville wouldn't have hockey today...

Bethany said... mind your P's and Q's bub

Wayne from Alabama said...

I never thought I'd type these words, but:


Save the Eastern Conference from boring hockey!